Sunday, June 08, 2008

Boy drama - age 6

Last night we went to a wedding reception for Sadie's teacher. Because of my surgery and recovery, I was not given clearance to attend the wedding due to the lengthy amount of sitting that would be involved. However, we arranged for another family to take Sadie to the ceremony and we would meet up with them at the reception (which I was given the ok to attend).

Sadie had been looking forward to this wedding for quite a while. All week she would ask, "How many more days until Miss Adkins' wedding?" I knew she was building up a lot of excitement and anticipation which can only mean one diagnosis for Sadie: emotional overload resulting in meltdowns. I have experience with Sadie in this area, so I planned accordingly. I started getting her ready an hour before her pick-up time so that we could have at least one meltdown and still be ready on time. It is just her nature. I have found it is easier to let her just get it out at this age rather than try to stop it. At this juncture she just can't deal with the intensity and complexity of her emotions. They are few and far between and last only a few minutes. We are working on it and I see little improvements, but until it is resolved, I just plan ahead.

We hot rolled her hair and after several attempts to style it, one flailing upstairs to her room, we reached a compromise. She wore a very stylish dress that had a halter tie, sequins and even some tuile on the bottom, brown sandals (which I advised against), a pink pocketbook and lots and lots of light purple lip gloss, applied over and over again. Interesting several mothers mentioned to me that they almost didn't recognize her because her hair was so styled.

We received a call from Sadie as she was leaving the wedding with the other family. "Mommy, can you bring me some other shoes? These sandals hurt my feet." Ok. "Mommy, can you tell Ethan and Lily that I miss them?" Ok. See you in a little bit at the reception. I packed a small bag with two possible shoe choices, a pair of socks and several different hair bows/clips to cover my bases, thus avoiding any issues that might arise.

Being a teacher and obviously a lover of kids, Miss Adkins had a special room ready for kids attending the wedding (which there were many!). There were coloring books and crayons and a lady that was specifically in charge of the room. The kids also had their own, at their height, buffet line of chicken fingers, french fries and juice boxes. In addition to the Mario Brothers-themed wedding cake (I am NOT kidding - it was great), there was an ice cream bar with toppings. I thought this was the smartest idea I have EVER seen at a reception. How incredibly kind of her to put so much thought into making sure the kids had a great time as well!

Sadie had already decided what boy she was going to ask to dance with her, at least a month ahead of time. It was a boy she has been in school with since the early-2's class in preschool. Unfortunately, he is not into dancing. She was crushed, but not beaten. She moved onto to several other boys. One, thankfully, danced with her. It began as some jumping up in down and ended with swinging each other around. At that point in time, gone were the hot-rolled curls, the hairclips and in place my usual little sweaty, tomboy Sadie whose hair didn't even looked combed! She continued to ask other boys from her class to dance - each one turning her down. Now, she was quite down trodden. She came to our table, flopped down and cried. No one wanted to dance with her. I had to explain that boys, in general do not like to dance. They don't understand it and frankly, with rare exception, aren't very good at it. I also had her look on the dance floor and see how few boys were there. No little boys were there and only a handful of men. Case in point.

When we got ready to leave, Sadie was exhausted and spent. She couldn't contain her utter emotional waste as we said goodbye to the new Mr. and Mrs. Newell and broke down crying...again.

When she got into bed, I laid down with her. I wasn't sure I would be able to get up again, but could tell she wanted to discuss the evening. After mulling over the lack of dance desire of most boys, I offered up that she should put that down as a desirable quality for her husband. Of course, this should be after knowing he is a man of God. That way, she will always have a dance partner.

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