Sunday, May 28, 2006

May 28, 2006

Is it really May 28th - the 6th birthday of my little Ethan? 6 sounds so old. I remember him as a baby and how much confidence I lacked as a mother. Then I have some flashbacks as a toddler - particularly from photos. After that, it gets hazy. Thankfully, I have tons of photos. He received the prayer award at school - I was so proud. He also scored a PERFECT score on the bible portion of their achievement test - 99th percentile. I am so incredibly proud of the boy he is becoming. I see 6 as having so much responsibility - so much more than 5. Why? I have no idea, but I do. He is so appreciative of what we do for him. He thanked me and Jay so many times for the hard work we put into his birthday. Jay is out on the back field with 2 of Ethan's friends from school, Sadie and Colby camping out. I hope everyone gets some sleep. It is nice to be inside with only Lily. She is in bed and it is so quiet!

I finally recognize the types of friends that are good for Ethan. These two boys from his class are just precious. They are so incredibly sweet, well-mannered and just great to be around. They are not demanding nor are they wild and rambunctious (did I spell that correctly?). They have been taught to love God and it shows. They have confidence and they want to be with Ethan! It is not a struggle nor do we get any attitudes, power games or pouting. There are no clicks and they just want to have fun. I am so happy for him as I see great friends for him to be around.

Sadie seems to have done a 180 over the past month. It is like she just grew up over night. She finally gets it and really feels remorse, sadness, regret, etc. It is amazing. I don't know what finally happened, but prayers and all of the hard work, trying to keep her in line and wanting to please God seems to have paid off. God is rewarding us for obedience to him. Ironically, I think that this may just be in time for issues with Lily. Sadie has expressed so much love to me lately. She just wants to love on me and seems to be so much happier. I know that spending that one on one has been key as well as doing things that excite her. She wants to please me and I try to encourage her and praise her all the time. I also try to help her understand what she is doing wrong in a much better tone than yelling. It is working - thank you GOD! I feel a pride and joy when watching her that I have never experienced with her. I know she had to feel it as I recognize it now. She brightens my day and I was really looking forward when I would pick her up from preschool.

The summer has begun. We don't have too tight of a schedule. I am thankful. I am really looking forward to just hanging around the house and enjoying each other. We have lots to do outside and the kids need to learn how to find ways to entertain each other. I also have big school and craft plans with the kids. Of course, I had those plans last year and it didn't pan out. So, I won't try to tackle too much and hope for better. I need to beef up our craft supplies so we can create more this summer. Sadie keeps saying she wants to do soccer. I have her in advanced preschool at gymnastics and Ethan in horseback riding for the summer. I figure we will revamp in the fall - Sadie in soccer and Ethan in karate. I don't want to do all that running around, but at least it will only be for the fall.

Lily's hair seems to have gotten even curlier - special, perfect little ringlets - so precious. She brings such joy to me, too. I just want to squeeze her. She is starting to exert her will. I realize there is not too much we don't let her do as the house is pretty foolproof and she just can't get into things that make a mess. Well, except for Jay's computer stuff and remotes in the living room. She still only has those top two teeth, plus two molars in the back on the top. Four teeth on the bottom and two molars in the back. Speaking of teeth, Sadie will make ANOTHER trip to the dentist to have that silver cap looked at...again. Appears to be abscessed. I think we will just get it pulled...seems the easiest thing to do. I hope it is not incredibly painful for her as right now she seems totally fine despite the abscess appearance.

Lily continues to gain in her speech everyday. She puts lots of words together into small sentences. I love hearing her talk!

I am tired and though I know there is a lot to write about, I will end for now. Jay just called from the camp site to say they kids are loving playing flashlight tag. How fun!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

May 5, 2006

Well, we survived market cleaning and moving out for market. We stayed at mom's for a week and then I took Ansley and the girls and went to Myrtle Beach to stay at the Clinard's condo. We had a good time. Ansley was really tired and did a bit of vomiting. I noticed she just doesn't talk like she used to. She doesn't initiate conversations and doesn't really respond too much to chatter. We talked about it on the way home and she said she just doesn't have any mental capacity to converse. Everything she does is for the cancer and she just can't get anything else together. It is tough not to have her as her old self. I think I have been in denial that she won't ever be herself again. It is a tough thing to swallow.

I was going through pictures that I have in 2004 (still that far behind in scrapbooking). There are pictures that all I can see in them is reminders of cancer. So, I am putting them in a separate pile in order to make my own book of cancer memories. I plan to put all the email updates in them as well. It will be a painful book, I am sure to make and look at in the future. However, it is one that needs to be made.

Lily has been extremely difficult the past couple of days since we have been home. She ran a fever for a day and then just screams. I don't know if it is teeth or if it is all the changes. She wouldn't sleep last night and I thought I would go crazy as she patted me and chattered away at 3 this morning. She seems to hate sliding around in her car seat when we go around a curve. Hey - maybe tightening the straps will help. She just screams. I don't know what she wants. It is so very unlike her. I hope the next week things seem to work a little better. It is VERY frustrating.

Sadie still clings to her boots. It seems to be that she wears them when she thinks it is more of an important occasion. Very funny about it. We picked up John and Alisa from the airport (coming home to have the baby) and she HAD to wear them. She made a hilarious comment tonight to me: "Daddy left on my purple light and I can't sleep with it on, it is too bright." Mind you, she has insisted that light be on as well as her bathroom light on for the 6 months and now it is TOO bright???? Finally she is letting me fix her hair in a ponytail or pigtails or braids. She looks so grown up. This all had to be because Mrs. Nance asked her to - whom she loves. She sees Mrs. Nance like a girlfriend who she can talk to about anything. Mrs. Nance has taught her so very much about the Lord and her own character. We have been so blessed!

Jay brought home a baby pool Friday with a little slide to it. THEY LOVE IT. They pretend to be seals and dolphins and sharks as they slide down into the water. Over and over and over they go down it. I really hope to have the swimming thing down pat before we go to France in July.

I need to compose the conversation I heard between Ethan and Sadie when they were down at the creek - probably back in late March/early April. They came back without Sadie's shoes. She was too scared to go back to get them by herself. I told her to ask Ethan to go with her. She did and he said no. Then I said Ethan would you help her. He said, ok, I'll go. She said, "Promise you'll keep me safe?" He said, Sure. Off they went - holding hands. Her knight in shining armor.

The above is such a sweet moment - and now it seems all they do is fight. The back seat is a war and I am so incredibly tired of it! I am going to have to come to some resolution to it. Ethan's attitude if he is not getting everything he wants can really stink and Sadie plays ignorant of his talkings and so it gets to him, too.

Ethan is all mesmerized by infomericals now. He was insistent we needed to buy this stick on crown molding. "Just peel, place and push," he said. Then he wanted me to get the Betty Crocker easy bake pan set. So funny. I can't believe school is almost over! Now, I will have a 1 st grader. Mrs. Segers told me how much he loves the Lord and what a sweet and enjoyable boy he is. Made me feel good. I can tell he struggles with reading. Math seems to be fine, but reading makes him nervous. It doesn't come easy and we will work on it this summer.

I am glad to have caught up on some of my "blogging" I am using this to remember more when I start scrapbooking. Oh - I need to write more about our Easter trip to Emerald Isle and the camper, church services, biking with our Easter clothes on.

Dates to remember: April 30 - Ethan rides without training wheels - learns at Grammy's house when I was at the beach, Sadie wants to do it, too and will probably do it in a matter of days (according to Jay), April 23 - Lily has fourth tooth on bottom to come in - a strange mix of teeth - two on the top, four on the bottom and two large molars in the back on the bottom.

Oh Strawberry picking today - nothing too interesting happened except that it took all of 15 minutes - so quick. Lily ate one and was clapping and excited that the juice spewed out of her mouth. Grammy and I laughed very, very hard.