Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Outer Me: All is well. Life is running smoothly.

Inner Me: Why can't Sadie get it under control? Will she ever have friends? Why do other mothers think I am not giving this all I have? Why can't Ethan stay focused? His homework should not take 2 hours. Do I really have to remind my kids to brush their teeth in the morning and at night? Why do I feel all alone in trying to solve parenting issues? Why can't Lily earn an "O" in handwriting? I am sure this is just another reason her teacher believes we should have held her back. Why can't I say NO to anyone with a request? Why am I not supermom? I mean, I should have all the time in the world to have a clean house, a perfect dinner each night, kids well behaved, clean with perfect marks in school...because afterall, I am not really "working a real job," right?

Outer Me: If I just clinch my jaw hard enough, I can bear my way through this. I can still present myself that all is well.

Monday, October 05, 2009

It is Monday morning. I don't like starting off my week stressed. Yet, here I am. Super-sized stressed. I thought I would feel a sense of relief this morning with my high school reunion behind me. Instead, I am sitting on my bed wondering how I will get everything done. Oh, it will come together, but it won't be pretty. History proves it. I will not make pretty choices concerning my words, my attitudes, my view. I don't want to spend the next two weeks hating my circumstances.