I can breathe. The house is ready for our renters and we are in the basement. I can say that this year, I won the battle. The battle of "just how obsessed with cleaning can you be." I don't know if laziness took over, apathy or just a better perspective came into view. I believe it was the latter. It feels good and satisfactory that I did not have one melt down, one hissy fit, one tense moment with any other member of my family. And yet, the house is nice, orderly, and clean. Twice a year, every hairbow is in its place, legos in their boxes, and bills filed. This year, I was done so early; I actually got some painting done. Not obsessive painting, but painting two repair patches from a towel bar gone awry and a door knob in wall incident. It makes me consider trying my hand at professional organizing...well, maybe not.
Over the past 4 years, I know that in the back of my mind, I have had a little chip on my shoulder, a little grudge about renting our house. It is solely my responsibility to get ready for it and I admit I have harbored some resentment over that fact. However, this time around...nothing. Even adjusting to life in our basement has been a breeze this time around. In fact, I am enjoying it. Therefore, I am completely fine and at peace with this continued agreement. Funny, though, now Jay seems a bit antsier about renting and almost appears to be scrounging around, grasping for a reason for this to be our last market.
I am thankful to God for working through me to release the tension and anxiety that normal encapsulates these 4 weeks out of the year. Baby steps...just one little one at a time.