Working on the Change, Gang

I know, I know, I have butchered some lyrics in the title, but it aptly applies to my week. Tomorrow is a super big day in the Dumoulin household. It is the realization of a life-long dream of Jay's. It is opening day of our new business, RaRa Telecom Supply.

Jay has been at home as he has ethically waited out his 6-month non-compete agreement from his former employer. It has been 6 months of unexpected blessings. Jay has become a master baker - his authentic Dutch apple pies are to die for along with numerous variations of bread made daily. We haven't bought bread the entire time he has been home! At least I know that if the business fails, we can fall back on baking. Some lady hawks her apple pies on QVC for $35 and I KNOW they can't be as scrumptious!

Another blessing has been in the time he has spent with the children. They will never forget this time of Dad taking them to and from school, Dad taking them to the library, Dad being focused solely on them and not distracted by work. Upon returning home, I would often find Jay upstairs in Ethan's room, with all three kids, making and creating with legos - thousands of pieces scattered all over the floor. Priceless.

Jay is an incredible financial planner. This gift is especially important because I am not. It is only through his dedication that we were able to have 6 months without income and not incur any debt. God showered incredible blessings on us during this time and HE gets the glory for this. We were blessed by income tax returns, market rental money, money from a photo shoot at our house, and two unexpected inheritances. It has been an incredible ride.

Yes, it was a trying time at first. Jay was abruptly inserted into my daily schedule and my self-created world. He questioned processes I had created that worked for me. He checked the grocery bills, he challenged my time-management skills, he even asked about laundry. It was tough.

However, I found myself staying at home more, partially out of financial need and partially because it was fun to hang out together. One night in late November, I realized that we actually, *gasp*, chit-chatted. I reveled in it. Clearly, we had come to a point in our marriage where communication consisted only on doling out information and instruction. Now here we were, chatting like we did on our first date. Suddenly, I found my husband again - the man I married - not the man whose previous job had turned him into a volcano that erupted on a regular schedule. It was a clear revelation that this is where we needed to be - whether the new business succeeded or not.

Jay knows his direction - the compass is crystal clear. I am still a little hazy - my life consists of the usual stay at home duties. But now a new element - the business - has been thrown in. I have been thrust into an industry I know nothing about, working on government contracts - say what? My brain has not crunched numbers, worked a fax machine, maintained databases, worked in a business environment in over 7 years. I am a little shell-shocked. It also doesn't help that my pain issues prevent me from sitting for more than 10 minutes (more on that later). At some point a decision will have to be made. I will have to go forward with the business, giving up some of my household duties OR forgo the business and maintain my position. It is easy to give up cleaning the house, maintaining the yard and errands, BUT I can't give up time with my kids. I am already enrolling Lily in 5-day a week preschool next year, a step I did begrudgingly. They are quietly growing up on me and I am already trying to grasp at the stages they were at yesterday. Ethan will be 8 - yes, 8, at the end of this month. I don't want to miss anything, but yet, my husband needs me now, too. I pray to God for a clarity and balance - that the position I take is what God would want from me and that Jay senses it, too.