Showing posts with label Ethan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ethan. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Odds & Ends

Two times in as many days someone has referred to my Sadie as having a Tatum O'Neal look going.  I believe one said the Paper Moon/Bad News Bears time period, not her adult cocaine days (whew!).  I think it must be the reemergence of freckles on her face from being in the spring sun.  I checked it out on google images and well, maybe it is her Doppelganger? 

Lily is obsessed with caterpillars.  Always finding them, naming them, and trying to keep them alive while they inch along her arm, or leg, or even along her glasses.  They are her friends and anytime she finds one, she doesn't stop smiling.

I took the girls to an Anatomy seminar this morning.  It was very well done class conducted by a group of high school homeschoolers who had recently completed their Anatomy class.  I was quite impressed by their communication and presentation skills (just another notch in the homeschools are not anti-social column).  Sadie would not relent on her request to take a certain item home with her.  No one else in attendance requested anything, nor went home with any of the "props."  Actually, I should go ask her right now where the said item is...a pig's heart in a ziploc bag.  That is definitely one thing I don't want left in my car.  I have no idea what she is going to do with it.  Scary.

On a recent trip to Pawley's Island with friends, Ethan chose to dive into a hammock resting above a deck.  Not knowing the full measure of his strength, he overshot the entire hammock, landing full-force on his face.  Ouch!  Lovely scrape-type burn running form his forehead to below his mouth.  Other than that, it was a really delightful trip.  Well, Lily did run a fever for a couple of days.  I chalk that one up to my ridiculous kids who at 9 AM were chest-deep in the ocean. In the mid-Atlantic. In April.  Very cold.

Ethan is trying very hard to learn how to whistle.  Trying to teach someone to whistle ranks up there with teaching Passive English or Singing/Voice to those tone-deaf.  I keep trying to tell him where to place his tongue, where to position his teeth, cheeks, how to blow...and then, we heard it.  It was the slightest, faintest of chirps, but he did it.  His eyes grew about ten times, but he did not break the his mouth position.  Unfortunately, we did not hear it again on our ride home, but I am sure the practice has not ended.  He has wet his whistle!

Lily has been very funny with the one-liners lately.  For example, Ethan ended a little school relationship a couple of weeks ago.  When he announced it in the car, Lily piped up and went, "Womp, womp, womp.  Game over."  She is also getting very screechy and a little sassy, but that is for another blog entry.  She also loves playing with younger kids.  She does seem younger than her 7 years sometimes.  Academically, she is ahead of the game, but socially, she does not necessarily have street-smarts.  Of course, I shouldn't worry as she does have Sadie to teach her the ways.

Monday, December 05, 2011

Well, hello there little blog.  It has been a while, my friend.  No documenting of our lives has occurred in nearly three months and that just has to be ok with me. A quick list of things that have happened in the last few months that should have warranted some mention, but just haven't:

1. Lily had eye surgery to correct her accommodating esotropia in November.  The muscle located in the inner corner of each eye was cut and shortened in order for the eyes to stay aligned.  Amazing procedure, amazing results.  She did great - better than I would have thought.  Recovery was a snap and she looks "great" as she says.  She will still need glasses, but in time will get wear contacts and later, lasik surgery.

2.  Sadie is no longer swimming.  She is happy; we are happier.  Well, I take that back.  I wish she were swimming because she is good at swimming when she cares about it.  Actually, she is great at swimming, but it isn't interesting to her anymore. She is thinking about a running club, tennis, soccer, horseback riding, and sewing lessons.  Obviously, we are not doing all of that, but it is nice to see that she is curious about many things.

3.  We are raising chickens.  Yes, chickens.  Who would have thought?  It was all Sadie's idea, of course.  We have 1 crevecoer rooster and 2 hens; 1 polish rooster; 3 silkie hens, 1 silkie rooster and 12 silkie chicks of unknown sex.  Jay finally broke down and has purchased a really nice shed to hold the lawnmower, ATV, bikes and I would imagine "chickens and chicken gear."  He re purposed the fort to the old playset and the chickens have quite a nice coop.  Sadie has been diligent in feeding, watering and putting them up in their coop each night.  We are concerned with the amount of predators in the area - hawks, dogs, raccoons, foxes and coyotes.  It is an adventure and sometimes one that I do. not. have time for.  I also do not like Bob, who loves to crank out the cockle-doodle-doos at 4:15 am some mornings.  We haven't gotten any eggs, yet, but are hopeful the girls will start cranking them out soon!

4.  In October, we went on a very last minute trip to the Dominican Republic as a family.  Ethan and Jay spent most of the time scuba diving.  After much coaxing and some freak-out, Lily learned to love snorkeling.  I loved it too as soon as I realized that with Lily practically pushing me under water the entire time, I needed a life vest while she was with me. Sadie just took off with the snorkeling and I spent time trying to keep an eye on her.  I took the girls horseback riding and now all they want to do is take lessons.  Might be a good Christmas idea for them - an intro lesson down the street.  The weather was a great while we were there, the rooms wonderful and food decent.  It was interesting to see Lily struggle with all of the changes.  I thought it would run a little smoother with her, but she didn't quite know how to adjust at times.  Her response was that she wanted to go home, but I track much of this up to the need for more sleep and the over stimulation and activity.  She fell asleep on the beach, one time literally, three of the afternoons.  All in all, a fantastic family trip.

5.  The trip to the DR threw us off in our homeschool schedule and routine more than I thought it would.  I am not sure that I would choose to take an unplanned week off of school again.  It was tough to get the girls back on track and figure out how to rework schedules.  We made it through three continents and basic world geography before I realized it was too much in our daily schedule.  We stopped it after we returned from our trip.  I hope to pick it up over Christmas break...we'll see how that goes.  I had to find a new bible book for Lily because the 3-5th grade book we were using was just too heavy in subject matter.  I still have to make some decision on science and reading for the second half of the year, but for in general feel quite confident where we are in our studies.

6.  I am struggling with how much to push Ethan in school.  I feel he is capable of all As, based on teacher feedback and previous test scores.  He received all As in the first quarter, but I can see that the attention to math detail is a problem for him.  It is stressful to always be teetering at that 92 mark wondering whether he can bring it up in time.  I am sure I impart this stress onto him.  I finally told him that if he did his best, then ok.  What do you do?  Push him, or let him find his way.  Take away television or screens so he can devote more time in practice, or be satisfied with a B?  What am I teaching him?  Still in prayer over this one.

7.  We are still attending morning swim practices.  Ethan and I have adapted quite well, in fact.  I get my workout in and he feels extra energetic with morning practices.  He has made such strides in his swim times this year.  I know he is pleased.  I hope the trend continues.  Last year, we saw a near complete halt to any drops in time after Christmas.  He is working hard, but at times just wants to do noth-ing - no school, no work, no chores, no lego robotics, noth-ing.  I have thought about if he is over scheduled, and am considering some changes in the first of the year.  In addition, I have completed the requirements to become a Stroke & Turn Judge for USA Swimming.  It took some effort and I am pleased to have accomplished it.

8.  It is Christmas time.  Too many things going on and trying as every year to create the magic of the holidays for the kids.  I love traditions and I love seeing my kids get excited to relive our favorite ones, even if it drives me a little batty.  We do gingerbread houses, craft Saturday (where we make ornaments), Bags for the Bus Stop, driving to look at Christmas lights with family, our church Christmas performance, and finally hosting a Christmas party.  Right now, I don't foresee being able to get it all done, but you never know.  Sometimes things just magically fall into place.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

This is how life is rolling these days at the Dumoulin house...

Last week, I went to 7 doctors appointments. One for Ethan, one for Lily and 5, yes, 5 for me.

Ethan's appointment was to confirm no additional complications from a marathon viral infection that lastest 12 days, missing 6 days of school. This week he is finally recovering some of his energy he lost from a constant fever for that long. He has just stopped falling asleep mid-day, yet still has a random cough that produces gags.  He is slowly returning to normal.

Lily's appointment was in Greensboro with her pediatric opthamologist. She will have eye surgery sometime in the next month for her accomodating esotropia. Her very strong glasses are not fully correcting her vision issues, so they will cut the muscle to tighten it. This procedure is done at a day surgery center and lasts about 20 minutes. I believe there is some discomfort the first day or two and then a week of a bloody looking eye, reminiscient of the worst pink eye you have seen.  Poor Lily.

My situation was a little more complicated, but the results were very positive. I had an MRI and mammogram and an appointment with my OB-GYN all in the same day (3 appointments right there). Talk about being exposed, poked, and prodded. I felt just one step away from porn status, really. As usual with my situation, I am declaring war with my insurance company over the MRI which is recommended by every medical board with my life-time risk of breast cancer being over 20%. It is actually 26%, but when you get over 20% does it really matter? Regardless, they won't cover it, which means $1,400 out of pocket for me each and every time. Aren't they gems?

The remaining two appointments were because they found some area of concern on my MRI. This the third time this has happened. Their recommendation was to biopsy the area assisted by MRI. After the procedure I was sent for another mammogram to note the location of an injected clip. The clip is used to mark where they collected the tissue. All very heavy and all very irritating at the same time. Not too emotional this go around, but more like, why is this happening again? At what point will I not have any tissues left to take? My MRI tech was quite a "McDreamy" making it all very interesting to be sitting there with the front of my gown open, exposing one side. However, my doctor pretty much destroyed that enjoyment by squeezing my boob as if checking to see if the melon were ripe...right in front of him. To be more accurate, I should say squeezing like a peach, as she tried to control the bleeding of the biopsy entry point. Nothing says "hot" like having steri-strips and neosporin gooped on the side of you, while incoherently saying you are fine with a gigantic red mark on your forehead from laying face down on your stomach for 30-45 minutes. The bottom line and fantastic news is that the results were negative for anything cancerous. Now, I just need to decide how much it is worth to continue with these "recommended" tests.  I am also reconsidering genetic testing although that isn't fool-proof either.
Ethan is running for student council, thinking about a hip hop dance class and participating in Cotillion. For those not in the south, Cotillion is a class that teaches manners, etiquette, and basic dance skills. Ironically, we were 30 minutes late to the first class as I wrote the time down incorrectly. Who is late for a class on etiquette?  The Dumoulins. 

The hip hop dance thing is unsettling to me. I know I am being ridiculous, but sometimes I just live in the 19th century, ok? He even said he was ok with taking jazz or tap if he had to as he might "enjoy" that. Gosh, I hope he really wants to do this because he knows he can meet some girls. Either way, as this "interest" sinks in, we will play the waiting game on exploring our options.

We, meaning Ethan, resumed morning swim practices today. I am most thrilled to report that our gracious coach has delayed the start of practice by 15 minutes. Now, I only have to have Ethan at the Sports Center at 5:15 am instead of 5:00 am. Nice. Wake-up time is an easy 4:45...still considered to be the night before, not this morning by me. When I returned home at 8 am, I had taken Ethan to practice, worked-out (translation: walked on a treadmill for 30 minutes at 3.5), made a run to Wal-Mart (NO ONE is at Wal-Mart at 6:15 am), grabbed a cup of coffee at Chik-fil-a, picked Ethan back up and hauled him to school. Of course, he left his gym clothes in the car which meant another trip to the school. However, I thought my productivity prior to 8 am was pretty admirable considering I can easily sleep until 9:30 or 10 am on weekends. Deep down, could I be a morning person? No. It is all because I love my son. It is now 12:30 pm as I type this and I can hardly keep my eyes open. Did I say how much I love my son? By the way, it was a first for me to go into a Wal-Mart while it was dark, only to exit when it was getting light. I thought people only did that when they went to bars in Europe.

Lily has taken to shouting out random math problems throughout the day.  Yesterday afternoon, as she lounged on our oversized chair in the kitchen, she announced that 700 plus 600 equals 1300.  Cuddling up with me before bed, she did a borrowing subtraction problem with 3-digit numbers out loud, without paper. If you don't know what that is, I think it was something like 318-189=129.  She is nutso over math and I do not get it at all.

What other ridiculousness is going on our family, you ask? Well, homeschool, of course. How does one homeschool when at at doctor's office more than her own house? Well, she doesn't. Complete fail last week for the most part. Here's another eye opener...using the instructor's manual is actually a helpful thing when teaching math. Sometimes I wonder how my children know anything. For the first time in our brief homeschooling journey, I have given up on a curriculum choice for one of my girls. The bible course I used with Sadie during 3rd grade is just too difficult for Lily. Words like attributes, polytheism, and atheist are not ones Lily can retain. At. all. Time to do some research.  Today we had some success with two little experiments in science.  One was throwing marbles in bowls of flour to demonstrate how craters are made and the impact they have on a planet's surface.  The other was melting butter to pour over custard bowl which was covered in four.  This was to mimic a volcanic eruption.  The key part to this was that when the butter cools, it hardens up a bit like the lava does when it cools. 

I have found that here is little substitute for the retention of information than hands-on study and/or video enforcement.  To compliment our study of Australia, our family watched a great documentary about Australia Saturday morning.  The kids squawked a bit through it and I threatened to give them a pop quiz.  Afterall, I am the teacher.  I can do that sort of thing.  In the end though, we all learned a lot and each child could give me 2-3 different facts about Australia.  Netflix has become our greatest ally in this type of teaching. Once we complete our notebook section on Australia, they might be ready to go eat some vegemite!  Next up...AFRICA in our semester of World Geogrpahy!  I have about 6 movies in the queue.  That will probably send them over the edge. 

As I down my third cup of caffiene today, I wonder how I will get anything else done.  The projects just keep piling up and home maintenance keeps getting shoved farther and farther down the list.  My view is that if God wanted me to get them done, then He would give me the time.  Right?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Two Lessons from an Eleven Year Old

Having faith like a child. It has been more than that from my oldest. He has become the teacher. It has caused me to think deeply about many of my positions and statements. It has been humbling.
This year, the eldest has taken a vested interested, rather, determined to be friends with everyone in his class, from the quasi-bully to the meek to the semi-irritating. This is a trait he exhibited a bit last year. I have been highly supportive of this effort. That is, until he determined himself to be closely associated with the child that might be deemed "troubled." He began to tell me the story of how he realized this boy didn't have many friends and was seldom alone in class, the lunchroom, etc. I began questioning him if that were such the wise choice. I thought, "Oh no, the other boys will no longer want to be his friend. He will be assumed to be along the lines of this boy. He will lose his position in class." I began to question him to help him see the light. it was my job to help him navigate the tricky social waters of middle school. He need to make sure to rotate through all the boys, not lingering with this one too long. Then, my wise son said, "Mom, why do you not want me to sit with him? Isn't that the first place Jesus would sit? You know, Mom, this boy is actually really nice. I feel blessed to have been able to sit with him the past couple of days. He doesn't care about being popular, or being cool. He is real, Mom." I sat there with my head very low. He was right. He was doing what mattered. My position was completely and totally wrong. Lesson #1

The eldest is going through his first 12 week band rotation. All the kids were able to try out various instruments and then list their first and second choices down on paper. A few days later instruments were distributed much to the delight and dismay of their new owners (or rather renters as the school owns the instruments). My son proudly popped into the back seat of the car with...a trumpet. Thrilled at the prospect of the instrument that he had in his possession, he quickly undid the case, put the trumpet together and blared a half-way decent note in the car. Ouch to my ears, but he was clearly over the moon. Later that evening, his father learned of the trumpet. Unbeknownst to the rest of the family, Jay has always had a desire to blow a trumpet and learn to play. He had the eldest to bring the trumpet to him. Jay picked it up, took one big breath and...nothing. Over and over again Jay tried to create any sort of sound roughly related to the horn to come from the trumpet Nothing. Ethan patiently advised him, encouraged him, and cheered him on. Ethan held onto the sides of his mouth where air was escaping. Still, nothing. I found the entire situation rather amusing. I don't recall ever having seen Jay not be able to achieve something he wanted. My laughter was fairly continuous. Ethan, however, settled me down and continue to "work" with Jay. Seeing Ethan so patiently and encouragingly deal with Jay stopped me in my tracks. This is how God intends us to train our children. In the end, Ethan didn't ridicule his father for being such a failure at the instrument, but offered up that maybe Jay's lips were just too big and that one day he just knew he would do it. Lesson #2

Sunday, August 28, 2011

End of School Year Review

School ended.  It ended nearly 2 months ago and I let it slip by with nary a mention.  Ideas for this blog come and go as I go about my days, but they don't find their way onto this screen.  My picture taking is down, my scrapbooking nonexistent, documentation of the little things is dwindling.

As I type this, I am sitting in the car heading home from our week at Ocracoke Island.  What a wonderful thing technology is that I have Internet access on a laptop in a moving car.  It certainly helps pass the time.

Ethan is now a middle schooler. Sixth grade looms ahead in the fall.  I remember those sticky middle school years and it makes me long for the next three tumultuous years to pass quickly.  He ended the year with an all A average. He had 2 Bs throughout the year, but they were both one point away from an A, so it wasn't too difficult to turn those into all As for the year. He had some pretty fantastic remarks from his teachers as well, so I feel good about where he is headed.  Stanford scores, once again, qualify him for the Duke Tip program in several areas. He begged to do Math Camp at school this summer...who am I to turn that down?  He still has some maturing to do in regards to goofiness and blabbering, but sometimes I think I am too hard on some naturally occurring irritations of an 11 year old boy.  He is still swimming and enjoying it, but I believe that the craziness of this activity has subsided.  This will be a nice addition to his high school transcript, but he is more likely to benefit from his academic gifts in the future, than he ever will in sports.

Sadie finished our first year of homeschool.  We struggled a bit in the end with completing work and our enthusiasm for learning. However, she learned what she needed and then some.  She showed strong gains overall in her Stanford Testing scores with the exception of Math.  It wasn't as high as last year, but still higher than her class average.  Reading was fantastic and Listening showed a tremendous gain.  Her scores qualify for the Duke Tip program in several areas, too.  I tribute that to the necessity of focusing on me, her teacher, at all times.  The environment of homeschool does not allow for daydreaming.  Although most school work comes easily for her, she just doesn't care about it.  I don't know if it is boredom, or lack of motivation, but rarely do I see Sadie "tackle" school work with keen focus on accuracy and completing her task to the best of her ability.  She would much prefer to be outside, collecting animals to care for and to learn about.  She dawdled about with swimming this year.  Some days she cared, some days she could have cared less.  Considering she probably put forth about 40% effort total for the year, she did all right.  One area in which I never had to prod her was with her piano and participation in the arts (drama and dance).  She practiced without any reminders and seemed always to enjoy being on stage.  I always wonder what Sadie could actually achieve in academics, sports, whatever, if she actually put forth what I see is her total potential.  I don't think this is something I can teach her, but is something she has to figure out herself.  However, I also believe that happiness and joy are always going to be more important to her than success.  Should I really complain about that?  Shouldn't we all be that way?

Lily finished her 1st grade year with very high marks, a perfect report card.  Considering she is one of the youngest in her class and that we were advised to consider holding her back in school, I am pleased.  I think the biggest shocker to me, however, were her Stanford scores.  Not only did she vastly improve her scores over last year, her reading lexile score was 900 (about a 6th grade level).  What a little sneaker!  She can act so incapable of everyday tasks sometimes that I think there might be an issue.  Now, I realize that she just likes to act like a baby.  She still has this amazing sense of imagination and ability at creative play.  She loves to do summer work and learn. In fact, she brought her summer workbook with her to a swim meet to pass the time. She is not necessarily the most coordinated child, so swimming is a good sport for her. It forces her to work on that aspect of her body.  Also, she can go at her own pace and I would venture to guess that we may still only have three legal strokes at the end of this year.  She, too, loved piano and any sort of musical activity she was involved in.  She received the "Friendliest" award this year for her class.  Her enthusiasm for new things never wavers and she is the first to bring along her friends who might not feel as confident.  Lily has no clue she might not be "good" at something, an attitude I hope remains for a very long time. 

It was a solidly successful year for the Dumoulins.  We are incredibly blessed to have been given these three precious gifts.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The kids have been changing and I have not documented a thing.  Even my photography has fallen behind. I discovered that when I was creating calendars for Christmas presents that the month of January contained only a couple of photographs.  I am sure my kids will forgive me for missing ONE month of their lives, but I know that 2010 will be an easy, easy year to scrapbook.  I don't think I have one photo of Ethan in his Halloween costume or at his Christmas play.  It wasn't just Ethan either.  Everyone got a bit short-changed this year, including me and blogging.

I have to let it go.  It was beginning to stress me out.  There were times when I felt the urge to write.  I felt I had something to put into visual words, but time slipped away.  As soon as the mood struck, it was gone again.  So, I have a little look at my year at the beginning, but with some gaping holes here at the end.  Here is my attempt to connect some dots.

In October we took an extended family trip to Doughton Park in NC.  It is only about an hour and a half from the house, but the landscape changes quite dramatically and suddenly, you are in the mountains.  It is rustic and a lesser travelled area of the Blue Ridge Parkway which we really like.  The hiking trails are gentle and there are plenty of apples to pick along the way.  This year's trip couldn't have been any better.  The weather was gorgeous and we had a lot of down time just lazing around on a blankets under trees while the kids explored the areas around us.  I can still feel the warmth of the sun, the gentle breeze while reading a great book. 

Later in the month, we had a swim meet which yield some pretty decent drops.  The swim meet fell on the same day as the BBQ Festival in Lexington which I did not realize until after we had signed up for the meet.  We had to miss the festival which was very disappointing for the kids.

Next, we went with the swim team to the CORN MAZE just outside of High Point.  The kids also went panning for gems and minerals there.  That place is fun, but a bit of a racket.  I don't really enjoy wandering around in a corn field, but we were with another family who had a wonderfully keen sense of direction.  That made it a bit more bearable.

The elimination of market renting was a bit of a surprised to us, but in the end turned out to be a nice break from the hectic Octobers we have experienced in the past.  I miss having the clean house, but not the move.  I have been slowly cleaning out the house over the past months as the house just needs it twice a year if I want to maintain some sanity.

Halloween quickly approached and the kids chose the following as their costumes:
Ethan:  a banana (bizarre and completely not understandable)
Sadie:  Diva Ladybug (taking a sweet ladybug to another level)
Lily:  Pumpkin Princess (very cute)
Although we bought pumpkins this year, we never got around to carving them.  See, I told you it was a terrible year for traditions.   Ethan went to Halloween sleepover on the night that the girls went to our church trunk or treat.  Thus, I have a picture of the girls and not him.  We went trick or treating the next night in Willow Creek, but I forgot the card to my camera. We didn't have time to stop by our neighbors or to go to the church down at the end of our street because it was a school night.  Again, more traditions that were not upheld.  But, the kids had fun and that is really the point of it, right? 

Ethan brought home a report card with one B, the rest As.  I felt terrible for him because the B was only one point away from an A. If he received all As, then he would get texting on his Ipod, but alas he didn't.  Frankly, I can deal without him having the texting for quite a bit longer.  Therefore, it might be the only time I am happy for him to get a B. Ethan lost three teeth in the last week.  A little strange, but I understand quite normal for this age.  He seems to have settled into school and found his place in his class. Socially, he fluctuates between groups, which I think it probably best.  He has been quite helpful and responsible lately.  In fact, I would almost say that I see some maturation regarding taking ownership of schoolwork, swimming and life, in general.  The results have been a higher level of success in all areas.  It has been a great life lesson for him to see what hard work can achieve. 

Sadie, based on my grading, also received all As.  Homeschool is moving right along and the only subject area in which we seem to struggle is getting her motivated to write.  She can do it, but it isn't her preference.  Instead, she gravitates towards math.  I taught her how to do long division yesterday.  Her response, "I could do this all day.  I loooooovvvee this!"  Clearly, I did not contribute to that part of her being.  An area in which I must make more effort is in her socialization.  Sadie loves to be around people and thrives on playdates with friends. Despite swimming several times a week and her attendance at Faith Academy every Tuesday, Sadie lacks the amount of interaction that she needs.  Therefore, I am going to add some classes through High Point Home Educators on Monday that will not interfere with her regular schoolwork.  They are merely add-on, fun classes like cake decorating.  In general, I see more maturation with her choices and self-control.  After much deliberation and indecisiveness and several conferences later, Sadie has decided to continue swimming.  She took a week off to decide and ultimately determined that she does like it enough to continue.  I won't get into all the details that I think contributed to the seesawing, but in the end, she made the decision.

 Lily had a perfect O report card and loves school and her friends.  When there was a snow day this week, she cried because she wanted to go to school.  What a difference this year makes!  She has developed into a fantastic reader and I imagine she will be in full-on chapter books by the end of the school year.  She reads with such expression, too, which is so cute.  She is still ridiculously in love with snuggling and hugs.  And, she still does not have her front two teeth.  They have been out since June, but the dentist assures me that they are there, just slow to come in.  I don't know that I can say she has improved in swimming, but she likes it.  I am sure she has, but she is not the most coordinated little child.  It will take a little while.

So, we enter into November.  Sadie turned 9 and had a spa party at a place called Arts 2 Zebras.  Many girls from her class last year came which made Sadie feel good.  Her cousin, Gray, was notably absent, but that is just the situation at the moment.  Jay took her to get her ears' pierced which was a cool dad/daughter thing.  She has been asking to have this done for well over a year and we linked it to some behavior changes.  She feels very grown-up now.  We had the family here for Thanksgiving and the turkey, injected with spices and deep-fried, was divine.  For once, the family hung out for most of the day watching movies, playing games, etc.  My mom, Aunt Sue, Ethan and I played a game called WhooNu.  We laughed so hard - well, really cackled, that Ethan wondered, out LOUD, how any of us got married.  He said we were just too loud.  Oh, the words of a 10 year old!  Somewhere in this month we had some family portraits done, the results of which are nothing short of miraculous.  Editing is a wonderful thing and I could not be happier with the shots.  Later, the girls and I attended the High Point Christmas parade.  It stung just a tad that Ethan did not want to go this year.  However, we enjoyed watching the various groups.  It was a little nice to know that Ethan regretted his decision upon our return home.

December has rolled around and with it, I have tried to redeem some of our family traditions.  All the Christmas cards and party invitations have been mailed.  The presents are purchased and mostly wrapped.  We had our annual Christmas Craft Saturday with one other family where we made several ornaments.  And, we have completed this year's service project, Bags for the Bus Stop.  The kids made goody bags with hand warmers, candy, hand sanitizer, lip balm, a hand written note, and a few other things to give out at the central bus stop in our town.  Living here, you almost have to have a car, because public transport is just not that widely available.  The bus stops usually don't have shelter and the wait times can be long.  Last week, I pulled the van up and let the kids pass out over 40 bags to the people waiting.  They were so graciously received.  Some of the older ladies even hugged the kids and said, "God bless you."  The kids returned to the car glowing and excited.  Giving is always more rewarding that receiving.

Another swim meet yielded our best results of the season.  The hard works is finally paying off for Ethan as he had 4 new time cuts and is very close to 2 more cuts of the next level.  Sadie is now ridiculously close to new time cuts in 6 events.  I expect a bit of a blow-out at the next meet.  Overall, the kids seem satisfied with what they are achieving and therefore, I need to be as well.

The school Christmas program was Tuesday.  Ethan played the part of one of the WEE three kings.  It was the most hilarious part of the program.  It was a perfect fit for him.  That was his last Christmas program.  Sniff sniff.   Lily was very into the program and performed her songs and motions quite enthusiastically. 

The remainder of the traditions include a drive to look at holiday lights, a visit to Santa and a piano recital on Sunday.  We also have our company Christmas party and our little friend party this week.  I have some baking to do and of course, cleaning and grocery shopping in preparation.  Should be a hectic, but really joyous week!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Another day...

Things I have learned in the last week or so...

1.  A trip to the beach with a couple of girlfriends can drastically change the direction in which you are going.

2.  I had a friend tell me that she did not know one homeschooling mom who did not have a complete crisis during their first year, regardless of how the year was going.  Makes sense to me.  There is a lot of under the surface stress in that department.

3.  I don't have to accomplish anything big for God. I just have to love Him.  Sometimes stillness and quiet are good things. Sometimes loving God and loving my neighbor happens to be with those who are with me every day.  I have to be ok with that.

4.  Despite previous diagnosis of teeth grinding, poor eyesight (resulting in glasses), sinus infections, and allergies, the new most logical diagnosis for my forehead, eye throbbing, and cheek numbness is a type a migraine.  Here's to some new meds while I start documenting their occurrences.

5.  A doctor who is willing to tell you a very personal story about their own bout with depression and spiraling emotions to help you not feel alone in your misery is the type of doctor I want to see.

6.  My husband that can make me laugh no matter how terrible I feel physically, how irritated I am at him, or how on the verge of bawling I am, is a keeper.  Twelve years and I can say...he is a keeper.

7.  On that same note as saying he is a keeper, I can also state that no matter how minuscule, simplified or even common sense filled the list might be, Jay is never going to complete any "to do" list that I make when I go out of town.  I will never write such a list again.  It is a waste of my time and energy.

8.  Keeping my mouth shut and walking away is always, always, the better decision in the long run.  Let the battle be the Lord's. 

9.  Lily is becoming quite the comedian.  Funny little looks and clever little statements.  Keeps me smiling.  What a little joy.

10.  Although she can come across as being a bit ditsy, Lily is actually quite aware of what is going around her, what is on the calendar and when things are due. 

11.  Ethan can exaggerate social situations for fear of rejection.  His own recognition of such is quite mature for him.  He is such a deep thinker. 

12.  Ethan is very determined to stay on track and focused at school and his outside activities.  I know that sounds like a blanket statement, but I see him taking more initiative than in years past.

13.  Sadie will never be allowed to take prednisone again after tomorrow. Never. 

14.  Homeschooling is still the best decision I could have ever made. 

15. Sadie is a lovely little girl (while not taking prednisone).  Her multiple phone calls while I was away made me realize how much we have grown to enjoy each other's company.  I think we missed each other more than we had anticipated.

16.  No matter how disappointed I am because of my own actions and those that I must deal with, my children and my husband are more than enough reason to never give up.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Pregnant Summer

School orientation last night means that summer is coming to a screeching halt and school will begin in a mere 4 days.  Much of our adventures have been undocumented this summer and for the sake of remembrance, I will make a short synopsis here.  I say "sake of remembrance" because Jay firmly believes I have some sort of short-term memory issues invading my brain.  Maybe he is right.  Actually, now that I think about it, if I do have some sort of short-term memory lapses going on, then I won't remember much of this summer, right?  Oh never mind.

School let out in May and as documented in this blog, we headed for the Old Country to see Jay's parents.  Lovely trip.  The kids were fantastic traveling and Jay's host parents, Jimmy and Nancy, were in awe as well.  I have a wonderful peace when I am in the Netherlands.  Maybe it is the simpler lifestyle or the sounds of the language rolling off their tongues, maybe it is was just vacation.  It was the perfect kick-off to summer.

Upon our return, we dove head first into swim season.  Did you get that pun?  I made the mistake of signing the kids up for three swim teams this summer.  Even writing it, I wonder what was going through my brain at the time. Two summer league teams and one year round team kept us hopping from pool to pool and meet to meet.  In the end, we weren't really focused on anything more than packing bags and driving around in my car.  Progress was slow and sometimes not as evident, but the kids had fun with their summer league teams and friends.  Overall Sadie consistently came in second in each of her events, with an occasional first and third thrown in.  Ethan was a consistent fifth placer for the team and was counted on for the longer, more difficult event of the 100 IM. Lily's first meet was not quite what I had expected.  She jumped in, came up for air, heard all the people sheering and completely freaked out.  She grabbed the lane rope and I wasn't too sure she would give it up and swim to the side of the pool.  Thankfully, I can chalk it up to being completely unprepared for the noise, the experience of a swim meet with a little jet lag from our trip to Europe.  She recovered in time for the next meet and from then on, she jumped in and finished with no problem.  She even earned a few ribbons in the process which thrilled her little 5-year old heart to no end.

Interspersed with swimming were trips to go bowling, skating, to ArtQuest, and sleepovers with friends, piano lessons, time spent with Grandparents, away camp at Camp Lurecrest, Lily's first overnight guest, a day at Wet 'n Wild water park, a trip to Wrightsville Beach, golf camp, cheer camp and Barbie ballet camp.

Some highlights from the above include Ethan's return to Camp Lurecrest which he counted down the days until he boarded the bus in Charlotte.  It also marked Sadie's first foray into overnight camp.  She loved it and the letters home announced that she was not homesick at all!  Their first week after camp was the most delightful one for me as they were so well-behaved. They can't wait to return next summer!

Lily attended cheer camp at school and also Barbie ballet camp at a local dance studio.  She was thrilled with both, although coordination may not her strongest suit.  Still, she completed her little routines and performed with enthusiasm at the final shows of each event.  Lily was also treat to a day trip to Tweetsie Railroad while Ethan and Sadie were away.  A huge thanks goes out to my father and stepmom for this treat which translates to me not having to go back to Tweetsie ever again!  Yay!  She came home with a pink cowboy hat and wonderful memories. 

Some funny, or well, now funny moments over the summer include Lily's self-inflicted hair cut. Her efforts were best described as a long mullet with several chunks taken out of the back. Yes, I freaked out.  Thankfully, we had a even-keeled friend visiting at the time who promptly helped with procuring an appointment at a professional salon just a short time later!  Now, Lily sports a cute little bob which is really much, much easier to maintain.

Ethan and Lily had several things in common this summer - birthdays, birthday parties and lost teeth.  Ethan lost an incisor and Lily lost both top teeth leaving her with a little Dracula look.  Ethan celebrated his 10th birthday twice - once on his actual birth date which coincided with our trip to the Netherlands and then a pool party with his friends in July.  Lily celebrated her birthday with her family and two friends at Golden Corral (her choice!) and then at home.  Her party is this Sunday at the Rol-A-Rink.

Our trip to Wrightsville Beach was a nice cap to a full summer.  We only went for a long weekend, but it provided a nice burst of family time before school begins.  We had one crazy series of events that occurred on Saturday.  It all started when Sadie caught a live jelly fish in a bucket.  It was the "hit" with all the kids in our area of the beach.  The kids were all chanting, "Bury it! Bury it!"  However, not heeding this advice, Jay decided to throw it back into the ocean to "save it."  I could discuss his decision regrading the fate of the jellyfish, but I will continue with the story and let you make the call whether this was the correct one or not.  After flinging the jellyfish about two feet away from his position in the water which was about knee deep, the jellyfish did what most would have done, been forced to the short by the crashing waves.  The kids noticed it was coming back on shore and crept closer to see what it was doing.  At this point, it made it to shore and Lily, with her lack of coordination, tripped on nothing, her knee landing right smack onto the jellyfish.  Ouch.  I rushed my screaming child to the lifeguard who told me to put wet sand on the sting.  From this moment on, Lily refused to go back into the ocean, not even getting her feet wet.  And this is what Lily proclaimed she would write on her first piece of paper on the first day of first grade: "I went to the beach and got stung by a jellyfish and it hurt a lot."  Great.


Ethan and Sadie have been over the moon with golf camp this week.  Both have begged to continue with lessons after the camp is over. That leads me to our "school year schedule."  Typing those actual words give me serious anxiety.  I like simplicity although I rarely achieve it with my schedule.  This year looks to be the worst.  I am trying to figure out how I get myself into this type of mess and the bottom line is that I try to make life "fair" to each of my three kids while also giving them the best opportunities possible.  I know both of these philosophies are very worldly viewpoints and neglect the much more important "God first, then spouse, then kids" belief.

Hereis our tentative schedule:
Ethan:  Swimming M.W.TH, golf - to be determined (decided against scouts and music lessons this year)
Sadie:  Faith Academy on Tuesdays from 12:30 - 4:45, piano Thursday 1:30, swimming M.WTH
Lily: Swimming TH, Piano Tuesday 3:00, soccer - to be determined

Writing it out like that makes it appear fairly simple, but what it means is that no one gets home from their day until around 5:45 M-TH.  And on Tuesday, it will be later if Lily does soccer on that day.  I pushed Lily off of soccer all last year and feel like I have to at least let her try it because of her strong interest in it. It also means that Ethan will have to do homework on the go this year.  His ability to stay focused is tenuous at best and will the stress and anxiety of keeping up, staying on track and potential of becoming complacent be our downfall?  Time will tell.  I can always move swim days around and drop one altogether. Soccer will also end in early November.

The bonus of the schedule, I think, is that Sadie will not have homework or projects so that eliminates one issue at night.  Lily and I will have some alone time together while the other two are swimming as I plan on heading home during swim practice to start dinner.  I will also allow Ethan to stay up until 9 this year. The girls will hit the bed at 8, but giving Ethan the extra hour will give us more time together and give him some needed downtime after homework.

Homeschool.  I am waiting on two books, but have been able to make two weeks of lesson plans without them.  I have tentatively set Sadie up in the dining room as we are reworking our bonus room with cabinetry and desks.  What was once a playroom is being transformed into a study/hangout room for tweens.  I spoke with Sadie this morning to get a feel for where she was with all the changes.  She did not go with us to the orientation last night at school and I wondered what was going on in her mind.  She responded that she was really excited about staying at home this year.  Relief.

We have named our school Raritas Academy, which means rare and unique.  The requirements for the state include: registering your school, sending in the instructor's high school (or above) diploma, and then keeping attendance throughout the year.  I am not sure that end of year testing is required, but it doesn't matter because I plan on doing that anyway.  So, we are all set to start our first day of school on the same day as Ethan and Lily.  Jay was quick to point out that he already knew who would win the "Teacher of the Year" and "Student of the Year!"

If you have made it through all of this rambling, thanks. 

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

School ends and summer begins

We are home from our vacation which turned out to be one, if not the best, trip we have had to visit Jay's parents.  Maybe it is the kids getting older, I don't know.  But, the trip was easy, the weather great and I came home pretty satisfied with what we did.

It is a little strange to come home and see that summer is in full swing.  School was still in when we departed. It is hard to wrap my head around our summer schedule.  I have a few updates regarding the kids and will forgo writing about any more travel details for now.

Miss Lily has completed her first year of school with flying colors.  Her teachers felt that Lily had a tremendous year of growth in terms of behavior and adjusting to school life.  She went from asking not to go every morning to crying that it was over and she wouldn't see her friends and her teachers.  At the year end assembly, Lily was given the "Loving Heart" award for her class.  She was thrilled with this award as she said, "No one else got Loving Heart as their award."  On her last day of school, the teacher had her sit in front of the class and her classmates were asked to make a comment about Lily.  The teacher said they all talked about Lily's loveliness and sweetness. 

Lily took her first standardized test this year as well.  We do not have the results, yet. However, when I asked how she did, Lily announced to me, "I got them all right."  I asked how she knew and she said, "I answered them all and they were right!"  I love her confidence.  She loves to color, do anything musical and spend time looking at books and reading.

On our trip, Lily lost her first top tooth.  The tooth fairy came all the way to France to visit her in the night.  Unfortunately, the tooth fairy misread some Euro coins in the dark of night which resulted in Lily receiving quite a bit more than what is normally doled out to the Dumoulin children! The other front tooth is extremely loose so I imagine it will be out within a couple of days.  Sometimes it is difficult to understand what Lily is saying, so I predict no front teeth will put me in the position of translator.

She was fantastic on the plane ride on our trip.  No whining, crying, or any other issues.  It was so completely opposite from our last trip.  Of course, that was three years ago.  What a difference! She loved being with Jay's parents and despite many requests to sit beside me in the car or sit beside me at the table, she was open to whatever activities they had planned for the day. One note on the trip - a slightly bizarre one at that - Lily, age 5, had a day of, hmmm, how do I say this delicately?  Well, she had a day where she stunk, literally.  Body odor.  I was so taken by surprise.  I have no idea if this is a permanent situation or some freaky, I have had too much cheese intake, sort of thing.  I can hardly get her to brush her teeth every day so I can't fathom deodorant.  But, at 5 years old?!?!

Lily' favorite parts of the trip were the Efteling (European-type Disney) and kinder eggs (a hollow chocolate egg with a little toy surprise in the middle).

My Ethan turned 10 while we were on our trip.  Double digits.  Growing too quickly for me, of course.  He finished out the year strong being identified by Duke University's TIP (Talent Identification Program).  Despite this, Ethan could work on staying a bit more focused.  His teacher diplomatically says, "I could deal with Ethan being a bit more present in the classroom."  However, I am most content with his spiritual growth.  He was walking around France reciting the verses he learned this year.  He discovered his favorite verse and has claimed it for his own.

The trip to Europe was an eye-opening one for him.  He was much more aware of the differences between our countries and asked countless "why?" questions.  Many times I couldn't quite come up with a well-thought out answer particularly when he wondered why the teenage girls in France wore only speedos to the lake and not tops.  Yikes!  His favorite parts of the trip were his trip to the Efteling (a sort of European Disney) and the Romange '14-'18, a museum in which everything in it was found within a 3 km distance from the museum, all from WWI and recreated to look like battlefields and bunkers along with many interesting tidbits about life during the war.

Despite growing up, I still get requests for some snuggle time and time alone with mom.  However, I am not allowed to show him any public displays of affection beyond a nice little side hug.  Ethan loves to play his DSi, build with Legos and of course, swim. He is always more interested in hanging out with his friends and is starting to find his little sisters somewhat of a pain if they follow him around or copy him in any way. Many times this is the source of their arguing and fighting which at times escalates to WWIII levels.  It should also be noted that his interest in the opposite sex is beginning to grow.  This should be interesting.

His heart still leans toward servanthood, but I am beginning seeing a bit more resistance lately than I have in the past.  In the personal section of his North Carolina notebook, Ethan wrote that he hopes to be a pastor when he grows up.  I don't know that this will materialize, but I do know that he has a heart of mercy that Jay and I do not.  He is compassionate and sensitive to others' feelings which are essential to that line of work.  Who knows?!?

Ethan is quite excited about swimming this summer.  The unknown and anxiety of the swim team is long over, replaced by competency and confidence.  Our first day at the pool yesterday yielded quite a bit of self-assurance as he reconnected with old pool pals and found a comfortable place.

Sadie is still very much Sadie.  She finished the school year very strong academically and received the Leadership award.  She also received the National Fitness Award for achieving certain physical standards for her age.  Still quite my challenging child, I see much progress being made in her ability to self-control.  I am understanding that much has to do with the excitement level of the situation and how much preparation I have given her before the event or circumstance she is going to have to deal with.  However, I also know that this is Sadie and as much as we practice and teach, she will always have to deal with her highly impulsive nature.

I have had second thoughts regarding homeschooling her.  I don't know why, but I am sure that it is normal to go through these cycles.  The school made it clear they will not be able to offer Sadie any additional work, academically. After seeing her tests scores, Jay and I know another year languishing around is not good mentally, and certainly not behaviorally.  Some of our school books for next year have been purchased and we are waiting for a call from the store to let us know when the next ones have arrived. 

Sadie makes friends very easily and finds it natural to talk to kids, teenagers and adults with ease.  She loves to draw, play outside and swim.  She is very determined and has an incredible ability to learn visually, picking up details and clues most miss.  She is eerily similar to Jay in that she dreams and imagines these great scenarios along with solutions..and then actually executes them. 

She loves, loves, loves animals and is currently going through an obsession with birds.  She combs through books identifying the birds outside and wants desperately to catch one to "observe" it.  I completely envision her house filled with animals when she is an adult.

She also loved the trip to Europe.  She cried the night before we had to leave.  There is so much about Jay's parents place in France that fits her perfectly.  So much area to explore, many places to walk and fill her senses to the brim.  She nearly caught a duckling at the lake on our last day.  Thank goodness she didn't as she honestly thought she would be able to bring the duck home to the U.S. to raise!!!  Her favorite part about the trip was having hot tea with Oma every day.

Overall, the trip served as a fantastic bonding time between Jay's parents and the kids.  Slightly overindulgent, i.e. three ice creams and chips for dinner on the last night, Oma (grandmother) was exactly what I expected for a grandmother who deeply loves her grandchildren and wants to makes up for lost time.  The house in France, in particular, is filled to the top with pictures of the kids on every wall. The kids love her and Opa just as deeply and it warmed my heart to see that even though they may only see each other once a year or even less, they do have a close relationship.

Now, let the summer officially begin!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Random musings

I have a multitude of events, issues and thoughts that have occurred over the past several weeks.  I kept a running list of them in this post and have been waiting for a time to add in the details.  Time hasn't made itself available until today and even now, the trash is overflowing out of the toters in driveway.  Writing is the perfect procrastinator to tackling my least favorite chore...bundling and taking the trash to the dump.

We keep swimming along.  Literally.  Today, Lily will attempt to swim her first 25 yard freestyle.  Monday, at the pool, she overheard another mom offer to fix her daughter a grilled cheese.  Lily became fixated.  However, I am militant about not being a short-order cook.  I already had dinner planned for that evening and was not going to add to my work load to whip out a grilled cheese.  I know, harsh.  So, I threw out the idea that I would be thrilled to fix her a grilled cheese if she swam that 25 on Wednesday (which is today).  She seems quite pleased with the idea.  I don't have the heart to tell her that we have dinner plans out and therefore, the grilled cheese won't actually be fixed by me.  Hopefully, she won't drown and won't care where it originates.

Sadie is on her own little rewards obsession.  She is consumed with getting her ears pierced.  I was not allowed this treat until I was in junior high and buy into that old school of thought.  Not to be deterred, Sadie has offered up what I consider a quite amazing goal.  If she gets her A time, she gets her ears pierced.  Mind you, an A time in swimming is somewhere around a junior olympic time.  I told her a BB time would suffice (which is slower).  She wouldn't hear it, insisting on it being an A time.  Time will tell.

Ethan has reached another teenage plateau.  This time, it is not a bad thing.  He realizes that he likes taking a shower in the morning before school and here is the kicker...he likes taking a shower every day!  Wow!  Hip hip hooray for personal hygiene!  He also likes topping it off with a little dab of cologne, which nearly caused my olfactory sense to revolt to my own child.  Thankfully, we have worked our way through "Pepe Le Pew," to "I bathed in it," to "My prescence is known," to now "subtle and appropriate." 

Yesterday, I found an empty cling wrap carton in my driveway.  For several weeks now, I have uncovered some bizarre uses of the wrap by none other than...Sadie.  First I discovered that she wrapped the base of a small pine tree, multiple times.  I am not sure if she thought this would protect the tree? Yesterday, I noticed she made a "wrap" for Lily that served as a wedding gown.  Then she used the wrap like duct tape and attached a glass jar to her scooter into which she deposited a bunch of rose petals.  While Lily walked the driveway, Sadie rode along on her scooter scattering the rose petals.  Later the saran wrap was used to create a sling for Sadie's imaginary broken arm along with some scotch tape.  I guess it is time to start creating a box with all kinds of materials - cardboard, wrap, tin foil, tape, bits and baubles from the office to spur this "creativity?"  The one thing that definitely needs to be included is a pair of scissors as those never seem to be handy when I am in "clean-up and repair mode."

Speaking of Sadie, God has revealed great insight into Sadie over the past several weeks. In all of my praying about her academic future, along with a very odd and difficult circumstance I cannot write about on here, I have discovered this:  Sadie does not have an inherently trustful heart.  The only way that she believes something to be true is if she experiences it.  When I talk about consequences for certain actions to her, I realize those don't resonate with her, until it happens.  When she would climb trees at age 3, I would warn her not to do it because she would fall and hurt herself.  Her response, "I not fall, Mommy.  I not fall."  The tricky issue with all of this is that Sadie does not often "fall," in the literal and figurative sense.  She is good at most everything she tries and therefore, does not encounter many situations that she either has to deal with or can't solve on her own.  Let me clarify.  She makes a LOT of poor decisions, but has become a master of making sure no one knows.  However, this recent difficult situation provided me the opportunity to "save" her from major embarrassment, thereby building a new level of trust.  I am confident that one of the reasons why I am to homsechool next year is to provide more opportunities to grow our relationship. 

I think everyone has heard the phrase, "God has such a sense of humor."  I'll mark this entire homeschool decision into that column.  I mean, Sadie has been my child that I have never shed a tear over when it has come to separation.  First days of preschool, school, camps, etc. I might have appeared to ever so slightly push her through the door, turn and walk very quickly away.  I know, that sounds terrible, doesn't it?  This is no indication of my love for her, but is a statement on my patience and understanding of her.  A year ago, she would have been the LAST one I would ever have considered homeschooling - my most head-strong, strong-willed, challenging, curious, intelligent, tenacious, and crazy child.  God must have howled when I announced that I would never homeschool her. Now, here I sit, just as calm and peace-filled about this decision.  I am excited about it...with Sadie

I love my little Lily's inquisitiveness.  I don't recall either of my other two asking so many questions about reading.  Ethan struggled a bit more in the beginning and Sadie just always seemed to know how to read.  However, Lily wants to know why behind everything she doesn't know. Last night it was, "What is that?" as she points to a quotation mark.  "Why do you not sound the "e" on the word gate?" " Why is "want" pronounced "want." Obviously, she wants to push forward with reading.  Looks like I will try to come up with some sort of enrichment for her this summer, too.

So, this is random, but worth mentioning.  I had a complete impulse buy yesterday at Wal-Mart.  I find it fascinating how they package food these days.  Choosing to tout some new health benefit, enticing you to buy a product...and I am Gussy Gullible.  This time around...Ann's House Chocolate Nut Antioxidant.  The label says, "trans fat free, cholesterol free, very low sodium, good source of Antioxidant Vitamin E."  I am sure all of this is true, but not when you consume half the bag in one sitting resulting in 30 g of fat and nearly 800 calories.  Sigh. 

I could continue this post by writing about my ire for these new silly bandz, but time is ticking on the garbage. Yes, I purposely wrote silly bandz and garbage in the same sentence.

Friday, April 16, 2010

April thoughts...

Things that consume my brain in April...

As we are, rather I am, homeschooling Sadie next year, I have been delving into books, websites, magazines, trying to determine what type of environment I want to create for Sadie, what is her learning style, what is my teaching style and what sort of curriculum to choose. I have come to the conclusion that I won't really know what works until we actually start. Therefore, I am going to make some educated guesses and hope for the best.

The kids are at the beginning of long course season in swimming. We have visited several other swimming locations in hopes of determining where we will be next year. Although all the sites have lots of positives, the deciding factors were 1) their love of their current swim coach 2) that I can be a part of a carpool next year which will allow me the luxury of only one day of shuttling the kids to and from practice and finally 3) an incident that happened at the swim banquet which was held at our church. The "incident" was a statement I made to another swim mom. There were a couple of door prizes given away at the banquet in the form of tuition credit. A criterion for being included in the drawing was based on volunteer hours throughout the swim year. They drew three names and before the last name was drawn, I foolishly said, "If I win this last one, we will go to Pyramids." Guess what? They drew my name. I know the statement was not some contractual obligation, but I also know that it hinted at a sign that point to Pyramids. Another note, Sadie received recognition for the largest percentage of time dropped of any swimmer on the team.

My little lovey has started blazing a trail in the reading department. It is so fun to watch her try, listen to her sound out the words and enjoy it. What a blessing it is to witness this first-hand! On the other hand she has delved deeply into the word of blatant disobedience. Makes me miss my "I'll do anything you say" little girl. Hopefully, we are getting back on track soon!

Ethan has developed a nice set of manners when it comes to speaking to other adults. I say "other" because it is not necessarily reflected in his conversations with me, unfortunately. We're working on that. However, it is nice to see the fruits of some labor every once in a while.
Sadie is still collecting "critters" like crazy. How she manages to keep them alive, I don't know. I have been coerced into going to PetsMart today to buy a turtle cage and turtle food. I assure you that I know they carry salmonella and that they are somewhat nasty, but this little turtle is so small that I figure it hasn't had the opportunity to contract any diseases. It is a good lesson on how to practice good hygiene regardless. Yesterday, Sadie was the first to discover the nest of the most perfectly blue eggs in our birdhouse. I think I see a unit study about animals in her future.

I have been quite reflective on friendships lately. What defines them, what drives them, what is their purpose? I have some ideas that have been planted in my heart lately on how to serve some others. I haven't had this happen in a while and it is joyous to me to know that He needs me outside my own home again.

I am starting my new bible study on the "Forgotten God" which is a study on the Holy Spirit. I used to grapple with the question of if "I" was always doing what God wanted me to do. Was "I" fully aware of my sins, fully aware of my weaknesses, was "I" giving God all the glory in every thing that I did. Was "I" living a life that was completely and totaling focused on Him. I came to the conclusion that all that was really needed was an open and willing heart. God plants these questions in our hearts to open up our eyes and hearts to the possibilities and it is then that the Holy Spirit begins to work it out in our lives. We just have to step out of the way and allow Him to work it through us. I am also beginning to see that there is no exact way, step by step process, no A-Z method, that "I" accomplish it; it just happens. A heart transformed, more willing to be His is all it takes.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The birds and bees

I am in the midst of some serious emotional gunk/turmoil (post in composition mode), and market cleaning (yes, you will hear about this for another week or so), but couldn't let THIS one pass me by. Such a classic.


For those that have been reading my little corner of the blogging world for a while know that "Time for bed" is translated in Ethan's mind to "Time for deep conversations with Mom." Thus follows tonight's very brief conversation:

Ethan: Mom, I have one of those questions for you.

Me: Ok, let's sit down on the sofa.

Ethan: So, how does sex actually start.

Me: Ummm. Ummm. Well, why are you asking that? Did someone say something at school?

Note: I have learned that often something has been said that produces such questions and if I ask what precipitated the question then I can usually come up with a satisfactory answer without giving too much away.

Ethan: No. I have just been thinking.

Me: Well, you know it is between a husband and wife, who are married and well, I guess it begins with kissing. Not that kissing always leads to that. Ummm. Well. (Clearly stalling as I have no idea what the appropriate response is)

Ethan: But is sex just for making babies? Wait, no, ...does that mean...(I can see the wheels turning in his mind)...Do you and Daddy still have sex?

Me: JJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

I am so not ready for this.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Motives

Yesterday, my son nailed me. I know God speaks through all kinds of ways, but it is particularly stunning when he does it through a child...your child.

Ethan has been cycling into a space cadet zone lately. We have been here before and it can be very frustrating. Last week was not a stellar week in terms of grades and I could tell that if we didn't clamp down a bit things would spiral. The culmination of which came Sunday night when it took Ethan 3 hours to do his homework, all the whilst moving to three different rooms, being called multiple times to get back to the table to complete it. To top it off, when Jay checked it over, many problems were wrong or half completed. Jay and I ordered up no electronics this week to help him stay focused on his tasks.

I picked Ethan up at school. I asked his teacher how the day went. I rarely ask his teacher anything about his day because Ethan is a reliably good kid. His teacher responded that he had had a much better day than last week. I chimed in that we were not thrilled at his grades and thus, we had removed electronics for him this week.

I really didn't think too much about what I had just said as we walked away. I looked back to make sure all three kids were with me as we made our way to the car. Ethan had that look on his face, the look of trying to control his tears. As we left the crowds of kids and parents, Ethan made his feelings known. Really, Ethan was angry. I don't think he has ever been this angry with me. I was a little stunned.

This is what he said, “Mom, why did you tell Mr. B that? You really just said it to look like you are good parent and are doing what you are supposed to do. Did you really have to tell him that? What was the point?”

Ouch. Yeah, what was the point? I spent the next day really thinking about that. He was right. There was no point. It was only to show Mr. B that "we were handling things" at home. You know, I am that "on top of it all" mom, the "totally in control" and "we are going to get to the bottom of this" mom.  I confessed my sinful pride to Ethan tonight and asked for his forgiveness. As usual, he started gushing accolades on my parenting. I so love him.

It seems I am very far behind on this journey of destroying the idols of pride and self. I mean, I have recognized this for several years - my actions have the wrong motives, etc. Yet, here I am struggling with it, again. Has everyone else worked through this? Sometimes it certainly feels that way.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

When the Moon Hits Your Eye

LOVE SICK. That is what my kids are and I have no idea from where it originates. My first reaction, which is erroneous I know, is to lock them away in their rooms and never allow them to utter another word about the opposite sex until they are 18.

How are they like this? I could say my kids are overflowing with love for others because we shower them with so much love that they are bursting forth with adoration. They cannot contain themselves and throw themselves onto all that cross their paths in hopes of surviving a love explosion. Sadly, I know my own short-comings.

Case #1: Child, age 5
Previously mentioned in this post, Lily is still in love with "little C" in her class. The shortest and possibly smallest boy in kindergarten. I understand from the teachers that all the girls mother him. Lily set her eyes on him on the first day and declared her unrestrained love for him the next. She is all set out to marry him and it doesn't seem to phase her one bit that she is 5. As she told me, "He is chubby, has a flat head...and I just love him." Yes, I just about lost control of the vehicle I was driving with that declaration. Is that really her standard? Girth and head shape?

The latest news is that another girl, told her that she, not Lily, was going to marry the little boy. I asked Lily how the girl knew this. Lily replied that the little boy hugged the little girl on the playground. Honestly, Lily seemed quite unphased by this turn of events, still believing that little C's heart is hers and hers alone. She announced to a teacher assistant, ""I am going to marry him so that I can kiss him all the time, whenever I want."

Last week, Lily announced to me that she got into a fight on the playground. Say what? A fight at 5? Insane! Evidently a girl from another class is also quite smitten with this boy. The two girls squared off on the playground and attempted to figure out a challenge. Unfortunately, Lily said, they couldn't think of one. Therefore, Little C just chose her.

Finally, I was witness to the following dramatic scene: We were playing on the playground after school. The afterschool care kids came out to the playground while we were still there. I was rounding up the kids as we aren't allowed to hang out there when they come to the playground. Lily realized it was the afterschool group and ran to find Little C who, by now, was sliding down the slide. Lily squealed, "Little C!" and ran over to give him a hug. About that time, I heard the word, "Little C!!" called out in a not so nice way. I looked up from the hugging couple and saw a look that would kill on what I assume is Lily's nemesis' face. She was a woman scorned. As Lily walked away from Little C, Lily told me that she was the "girl who I got in a fight with on the playground." I watched Little C, head hanging low, slowly walk to the girl who, towering over him, put her arm around him in the most possessive way. Thankfully, Lily did not see this.

Case #2: Child, age 8

Sadie has had a little connection with a boy in her class for a while now. Actually, it began last year when the two were paired for some dance in a special event day at her school. The story, like most of Sadie's stories, is somewhat vague, evolving and ever-changing on who made the first move. The beginnings of this relationship (if you can call it that) supposedly began with a verbal confessional on the part of the boy. Amazingly this boy has to be the sweetest, most well-mannered, quiet boy I know. They say opposites attract, right? Throughout the school year, there have been ebbs and flows of adoration. I checked in with the boy's mother during the class Christmas party. Her thoughts were about the same as mine: sweet, yet a very perplexing. The mom said that one day her son came home and announced the he and Sadie were over. The reason? Because she was just too bossy. Evidently they made up a couple of days later.


Case #3: Child, age 9

Sometime during the month of January, Ethan and I had one of those deep talks at bedtime. He initiated the conversation, saying he wanted to talk to me about something. I was completely not prepared for the next statement: "Mom, I just feel like I need to be a relationship." Stunned, not moving...catatonic for a few moments I was. I snapped upright as a thousand thoughts came rushing through my brain like, "You need to be more focused at school. You need to be able to locate your gray jacket that has been lost for 2 weeks. You need to remember that you have weekend homework on Friday, not on Sunday night when I tell you it is time for bed. The last thing you need is to have your mind consumed by this!" BUT, I refrained and simply muttered a calm, "Uh-huh. And, how did you arrive at this conclusion at age 9?" The verbal spewing began as he spun tales of unrequited love with a girl in his class. The pained look on his face told me that this was something he had been thinking about for quite a while. Now, he was at a crossroads...to tell or not to tell this little girl of his affections. The problem, however, is that the girl is already "taken."

Frankly, all I could think about was how to shut this entire pre-pubescent train down. NOW! This was way too much all too soon. I brought this craziness up to another swim mom and Ethan's swim coach. As I was telling them what had transpired, Ethan, who had been in the locker room changing into his bathing suit, walked by - dropping his socks along the way and neglecting to pick them up. "See!" I hissed. "He can't even keep up with his socks, he has no business thinking about relationships!" His ever-so-wise 23 year-old coach replied, "Kelsey, when he is 25 he still won't be able to keep up with his socks. He is a man. You can't tell him to stop. It is natural what he is feeling." Point well made. I still don't like it. Not one bit.

Jay wasn't much help either. He wanted to spur this crush on by, "creating a plan of courtship." What are we? 1850? I think what he really meant was that he wants to teach Ethan how to at least talk to girls, how to treat them, how to get to know them. At least Jay agreed that Ethan didn't need to be in a relationship at this age, but also doesn't want Ethan at age 16 unable to utter a single word to a member of the opposite sex. I can go with that. Maybe.

People of the world wide web...I beg for advice from any that might stumble upon this post. I have no idea how to handle these situations. I mean, this wasn't supposed to happen until junior high, right?

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Small Victories

I think parenting is all about living for the small victories. Let's face it, our kids are never going to behave the way we would prefer all the time. So, I believe God throws us these bones to keep us going in this predictably failing pursuit.

Small Victory #1: Yesterday, I wrote about my precious little girl's "shout out" to me at the door of our carpoolers. I had fully planned an "intense" discussion about this lovely sign of respect after she returned from school. Swim practice prevented that immediate discussion, which was a God designed delay. Upon returning home, kids were scattered in all directions putting up bags, taking showers, etc. However, Sadie found me,alone, putting away some laundry and said, "Hey Mom?" "You know when I shouted at you from the car this morning? Well, I am really sorry. That was really bad of me. Will you forgive me?" Sweet Jesus, thank you for the encouragement that my child does recognize the tone of Satan when it spews forth from her mouth.

Small Victory #2: After picking up kids from school today, my precious oldest one decided that I have failed him miserably by only allowing "healthy" snacks after school. He decided to repeatedly ask me for packaged chips that are 1) only allowed for school lunches and 2) not to be asked for as an after school snack. Oh, what a terrible mother am I, I heard. Why, oh why was he sent to THIS family. Woe. Woe. Woe is him. Topping off this endearing scenario was his attempt to parent my youngest on how she never closes doors. Instructing him to take a step back from this endeavor, he refused to zip it and began to belittle her. I sent him up to his room for an attitude adjustment. A mere 10 minutes later, I heard a little quiet voice asking to come out of his room. Yes, I responded. He came barreling into my room, his face scrunched up, tears in his eyes. Quite pathetic actually. I thought, "Oh no, here we go again...those blasted chips." Instead, this is what I got, "Mommy, I am so sorry for being mean to you. I just can't do that anymore. Will you forgive me?" With that, he started sobbing. I know I had to look like I won the lottery, stunned and thrilled all at the same time.

Small victories, people. Small victories will see us through.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Games

You wanted to play board games tonight. My day had been full of plans and to-do lists, but I had made a promise. Even I had to agree that it was a rare opportunity to play without little Miss Lily's stubby little fingers grabbing at all the pieces and parts or her insistence on playing a game that was way too difficult for her 5 year old mind.

We sat at the table, originally planning on including Sadie. One little meltdown before the first tile was played eliminated her from the table. There we sat, just the two of us. I saw the eagerness in your eyes. I saw how much this time meant to you. You had worked so hard this afternoon to help around the house. You wanted to help me with my job to guarantee my attention later.

Our game of strategy began. You were playing with as much skill as you could muster for a 9 year-old who had stayed up well beyond the usual bedtime the night before. Your yawns were another indication that the bed was calling you. Your little half smile. Your little quirky comments. I sat back and soaked it all in.

It was clear early on that I would be the victor and so I suggested that we simply stop keeping score. It would be nice just to play for the fun of it. You moved a little closer to me. I rubbed your head. You were content, despite a complete defeat, to continue playing...just to be with me.

You saw the tiredness in my eyes. You made the ultimate sacrificial suggestion to me. "Let's just put the game away and head to bed. It's ok, Mommy." My eyes watered for a moment. My sweet, senstive son. Willing to pass up what you had labored to ensure earlier. Just for me.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Amazing Feats

Sadie, who had been tucked into bed for 15 minutes, came into my bedroom holding a piece of paper. The paper was from her notepad of blue paper with little gray and white kittens on the bottom.

"Mom," she said, "I made you my grocery list." My eyes got a little wider and I said, "Ok."

She bent over to me and shared her neat little list which was numbered. My guess is that she felt the need to "go over it" with me to ensure there were no mistakes.

The list was entitled, "Sadie's grocries" (that is not my typo, nor are any following this - it is how Sadie wrote it)

1. Get pulups,
2. orange juice,
3. seedless oranges,
4. Green apples,
5. strawberrys
6. blueberrys, and
7. fabreeze for bathroom

Type A? Undoubtedly. Clear, concise, detailed and numbered. She just amazes me sometimes. It is a list that exhibits healthy eating habits and concerns about personal hygiene. I am not quite sure about #7, but at least she wants things smelling good. The vast and ever-changing worlds in which this child vacillates...so unpredictable. Guess I am going to the store tomorrow!

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Less than a year ago, we joined the YWCA in order to spend some family time together swimming during the cold-ish NC winter months. The kids weren't what I would call even "decent" swimmers. Neither Ethan nor Sadie could swim the length of the pool doing any legal stroke, their stroke a loosely defined doggy paddle. I think, Sadie, the first time, even used a swim belt (more out of our fear than probably her need). Nevertheless, the were not secure in the water at all.

Today, after 8 months of swim team/practice, Ethan had a chance to swim with the next level of swimmers at our practice site. He swam a total of 60 laps in the pool; that is the equivalent to 1500 yards, just 10 shy of a mile. He swam sets of butterfly, breast, free and back throughout the practice. Amazing what their bodies can learn and can achieve. It was a shining moment for him, I think. His coach was really proud of his focus and desire to work hard. We have come a long, long way in a year.

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There have been some hard and difficult issues that one of my children has had to face at school. Children, including one of my own, have been the target of name calling, inappropriate behavior and physical interactions that are quite below acceptable. My concern is for my child, but on equal footing, my heart is tender towards the child who is the perpetrator and his parents.

My own views of child rearing have drastically changed over the last 9 years. How funny to think I actually believed I could control and force the desired behavior of my children. I know that is why God gave me the three He did - so unique in their personalities, in talents, in love languages. My job is to guide, teach, correct and love them. It is their choice whether to obey or not. Guiding is my role, the rest is left them and God. It is not a reflection of me as a person, as a parent. It is a picture of their relationship with God.

We, as adults, live exactly the same way. God guides, teaches, corrects us, all the while never wavering in His love for us. However, we turn away from Him daily, even when we know better. If we can't always have it together, why in the world do I think my children can? Sometimes I feign disbelief over some of their unfathomable choices, but really, I shouldn't. It is just their natural tendency to wander from the One that love them most.

My prayers these days are not for perfectly listening, well-behaved, obedient little robots - although wouldn't that be nice? It is for them to have their hearts tuned into God. For them to develop into the perfectly unique and spirit controlled beings that long for Him. I can see the difference in their lives, little bit by little bit. The apologies are more readily offered, initiated from within their hearts. The voice is humble and sincere. The desire to change flows from their souls.

The fighting, the lack of respect, the sassy backtalk, the whining, the blatant disobedience will never completely go away. Lessen, hopefully, but sure to cycle round again. God has called me to be a mom and at those times I cry out to Him, "Who am I?" as Moses did in Exodus. In those hours of doubt, stress, confusion, disappointment and utter defeat, I will remember God's response: "I will be with you."

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Too Much Going On...

Swim meet this past weekend in South Carolina. Ski weekend coming up at Sugar Mountain. Need new health insurance plan for the business - must investigate this week. Too much going on.

Kids put on a good show at the meet. Sadie willed herself to finish her first 100 butterfly. She panicked a bit before the race, but I just shuffled her along to Rob who pumped her up. She started crying toward the end of the first 50, but pushed on, I am sure, because of a great deck parent cheering her on. At the turn of the 75, she saw the light. With about 15 to go she actually surged ahead with a little power. As she touched the final wall, you could hear the crowd was really behind her. Her coach pulled her out of the pool and lavished a lot of praise. She discovered that she loves a cheering crowd, but who doesn't? During this meet, I think she found a new love though - the breast stroke.

Ethan had a great Saturday with his technique (according to the coach) and a Sunday full of dropped times. He is so funny about swimming. He really likes it, but seems totally unphased by what others are doing. He just works along, pretty steady, content with his improvement.

I love the group of families that we swim with. If you are going to spend three days a week and a weekend a month with a group of people, this is it. And, Bob, if you are reading this, I include Jones family in that group.

Jay had Lily duty and despite the fact that he did not brush her hair the entire weekend, he did well. They took long naps, watched movies, did a few errands. She didn't cry this time when I left which means that she had every one of her heart's desires met while I was gone the last swim meet. Detox time.

Health plan at work decided to go up 30%. They have been terrible from the start. I am still fighting coverage on my MRI, recommended by every doctor and paid for by every other insurance plan. I am also fighting their charge for our H1N1 shots despite the fact that every other insurance company is paying for that administration as well. Now, I must tackle the daunting task of investigating our options. Sometimes, small business stinks.

Planning for Sugar Mountain and skiing this weekend with another family. Totally unprepared. At least we have the right clothes, but everything else is left to be decided. Now, Jay wants to go up on Friday morning so we can make the afternoon session. I sit here wondering...do I really even like skiing? Debatable. At least it is good family time.

Monday, January 04, 2010

The Saga Continues

STOP! Before reading further you must have read this entry:

My Cupholder Runneth Over as well as snippets from this entry and the very end of this one.


So, I start loading some things into the trunk of my car this morning after the kids had left for school. Just some things I needed to return to their owners. Imagine what I find! Why, lookie there, it is the kids' swim bag. The swim bag they last used 5 DAYS AGO, still sitting in the trunk of my car, filled to the brim with wet towels, suits, etc. Guess what today is? Swim practice day. Guess who doesn't have anything to wear but stinky swimsuits and nothing to dry their bodies' off with but damp moldy towels??!?! Guess who is learning a lesson... TODAY!!!

Ok, I admit it. I am not nearly as terrible as my bite. As much as I wanted to show up with nothing or the filth bag, I didn't. My reasoning was 1) we pay too much for these lessons for my kids not to swim and 2) a big swim meet is only two weeks away and my kids need all the practice they can get. I know, I am weak and my excuses are flimsy.

I had just enough time to throw the pungent contents of the bag, less the new sham-wow type swim towel, into the wash. I grabbed some extra towels upstairs and some sweats from the recently folded laundry and headed out the door with freshly smelling swim suits.

I did have one more thing up my sleeve, however. Once the kids got in the car from school, I pretended, just for a little bit that I did not take care of the bag. They thought they had nothing to wear except for nastiness. I saw shock, disbelief and this question came out of their mouths, "Mom, what are we going to do?"

My reply: Get your gear out of the car every time. Now, look in the back and get your swim bag; it has clean clothes in it.

It was nice tonight to see each child bring in their back pack, lunch box, swim bag, clothes, etc. We are making some progress.