Odds & Ends

Two times in as many days someone has referred to my Sadie as having a Tatum O'Neal look going.  I believe one said the Paper Moon/Bad News Bears time period, not her adult cocaine days (whew!).  I think it must be the reemergence of freckles on her face from being in the spring sun.  I checked it out on google images and well, maybe it is her Doppelganger? 

Lily is obsessed with caterpillars.  Always finding them, naming them, and trying to keep them alive while they inch along her arm, or leg, or even along her glasses.  They are her friends and anytime she finds one, she doesn't stop smiling.

I took the girls to an Anatomy seminar this morning.  It was very well done class conducted by a group of high school homeschoolers who had recently completed their Anatomy class.  I was quite impressed by their communication and presentation skills (just another notch in the homeschools are not anti-social column).  Sadie would not relent on her request to take a certain item home with her.  No one else in attendance requested anything, nor went home with any of the "props."  Actually, I should go ask her right now where the said item is...a pig's heart in a ziploc bag.  That is definitely one thing I don't want left in my car.  I have no idea what she is going to do with it.  Scary.

On a recent trip to Pawley's Island with friends, Ethan chose to dive into a hammock resting above a deck.  Not knowing the full measure of his strength, he overshot the entire hammock, landing full-force on his face.  Ouch!  Lovely scrape-type burn running form his forehead to below his mouth.  Other than that, it was a really delightful trip.  Well, Lily did run a fever for a couple of days.  I chalk that one up to my ridiculous kids who at 9 AM were chest-deep in the ocean. In the mid-Atlantic. In April.  Very cold.

Ethan is trying very hard to learn how to whistle.  Trying to teach someone to whistle ranks up there with teaching Passive English or Singing/Voice to those tone-deaf.  I keep trying to tell him where to place his tongue, where to position his teeth, cheeks, how to blow...and then, we heard it.  It was the slightest, faintest of chirps, but he did it.  His eyes grew about ten times, but he did not break the his mouth position.  Unfortunately, we did not hear it again on our ride home, but I am sure the practice has not ended.  He has wet his whistle!

Lily has been very funny with the one-liners lately.  For example, Ethan ended a little school relationship a couple of weeks ago.  When he announced it in the car, Lily piped up and went, "Womp, womp, womp.  Game over."  She is also getting very screechy and a little sassy, but that is for another blog entry.  She also loves playing with younger kids.  She does seem younger than her 7 years sometimes.  Academically, she is ahead of the game, but socially, she does not necessarily have street-smarts.  Of course, I shouldn't worry as she does have Sadie to teach her the ways.

Springtime Joy

It is springtime which is the signal of many things in the Dumoulin house - the start of our garden, the collection of many critters who now reside in our "backporch zoo," late dinners due to outdoor play, a desire for our typical routine and schedule to change. I am antsy for the school year to end which makes it doubly hard to hunker down and complete our daily academic tasks.
Sadie's make-shift reptile and insect zoo has come to life again, her various collection of old tupperware containers, aquarium tank, and even empty glass bottles scattered along the porch. Currently we have a worm snake, tadpoles, a large frog, and an Eastern Fence lizard.  Last night, I had to call her in from down the driveway.  She arrived red bucket in hand, muddy boots, her hair slightly matted to her head - a mixture of an earlier swim practice and sweat from her activity.  She arrived with a joy in her soul that there were an unbelievable amount of frogs and tadpoles down in the little water pools created from the recent rains.  How she loves to be in the world exploring.

For me the yard beckons to be tidied up from its winter doldrums.  The birds began chirping in early March and we have enjoyed watching and documenting the transient birds that make their way to our feeders and bird houses. Our little garden patch overgrown with weeds and a few leftovers from last season needs to be cleaned up and tilled.  I almost feel the outdoors whispering our names each day to abandon what keeps us inside and run carefree and wild in its offerings.  Hard to resist.

Chef Sadie

Sadie made her first casserole, Chicken Divan, completely from scratch last night. After reviewing the recipe and instructions with her, I went out side to muck some chicken coops. After an appropriate length of time had passed, she announced that it was in the oven. After finishing up our "farm duties" we went inside to eat dinner. I have to say that it was the BEST casserole I have ever had. I am not a huge fan of casseroles with all of their fatty creamy sauces.  Actually, I am a fan, but struggle knowing it is not often healthy.  Maybe I enjoyed the dinner because I did not have to cook it. Or, maybe it was that it came from Sadie's heart. 
She has always enjoyed messing around in the kitchen.  She easily whips up brownies, cookies, and cakes from mixes and can be found cooking eggs for her siblings on the weekends.  However, this was her first from scratch entree.  Boiling and cubing the chicken, cooking the broccoli, and mixing the remaining ingredients were part of this process.  She was pretty pleased at the way it turned out.  I enjoyed "discussing" the lessons learned while she cooked, like the fact that it seemed to have too much creamy goodness in it and how to remedy that.  I imagine it will not be the last dinner we enjoy by Chef Sadie.

Well, hello there little blog.  It has been a while, my friend.  No documenting of our lives has occurred in nearly three months and that just has to be ok with me. A quick list of things that have happened in the last few months that should have warranted some mention, but just haven't:

1. Lily had eye surgery to correct her accommodating esotropia in November.  The muscle located in the inner corner of each eye was cut and shortened in order for the eyes to stay aligned.  Amazing procedure, amazing results.  She did great - better than I would have thought.  Recovery was a snap and she looks "great" as she says.  She will still need glasses, but in time will get wear contacts and later, lasik surgery.

2.  Sadie is no longer swimming.  She is happy; we are happier.  Well, I take that back.  I wish she were swimming because she is good at swimming when she cares about it.  Actually, she is great at swimming, but it isn't interesting to her anymore. She is thinking about a running club, tennis, soccer, horseback riding, and sewing lessons.  Obviously, we are not doing all of that, but it is nice to see that she is curious about many things.

3.  We are raising chickens.  Yes, chickens.  Who would have thought?  It was all Sadie's idea, of course.  We have 1 crevecoer rooster and 2 hens; 1 polish rooster; 3 silkie hens, 1 silkie rooster and 12 silkie chicks of unknown sex.  Jay finally broke down and has purchased a really nice shed to hold the lawnmower, ATV, bikes and I would imagine "chickens and chicken gear."  He re purposed the fort to the old playset and the chickens have quite a nice coop.  Sadie has been diligent in feeding, watering and putting them up in their coop each night.  We are concerned with the amount of predators in the area - hawks, dogs, raccoons, foxes and coyotes.  It is an adventure and sometimes one that I do. not. have time for.  I also do not like Bob, who loves to crank out the cockle-doodle-doos at 4:15 am some mornings.  We haven't gotten any eggs, yet, but are hopeful the girls will start cranking them out soon!

4.  In October, we went on a very last minute trip to the Dominican Republic as a family.  Ethan and Jay spent most of the time scuba diving.  After much coaxing and some freak-out, Lily learned to love snorkeling.  I loved it too as soon as I realized that with Lily practically pushing me under water the entire time, I needed a life vest while she was with me. Sadie just took off with the snorkeling and I spent time trying to keep an eye on her.  I took the girls horseback riding and now all they want to do is take lessons.  Might be a good Christmas idea for them - an intro lesson down the street.  The weather was a great while we were there, the rooms wonderful and food decent.  It was interesting to see Lily struggle with all of the changes.  I thought it would run a little smoother with her, but she didn't quite know how to adjust at times.  Her response was that she wanted to go home, but I track much of this up to the need for more sleep and the over stimulation and activity.  She fell asleep on the beach, one time literally, three of the afternoons.  All in all, a fantastic family trip.

5.  The trip to the DR threw us off in our homeschool schedule and routine more than I thought it would.  I am not sure that I would choose to take an unplanned week off of school again.  It was tough to get the girls back on track and figure out how to rework schedules.  We made it through three continents and basic world geography before I realized it was too much in our daily schedule.  We stopped it after we returned from our trip.  I hope to pick it up over Christmas break...we'll see how that goes.  I had to find a new bible book for Lily because the 3-5th grade book we were using was just too heavy in subject matter.  I still have to make some decision on science and reading for the second half of the year, but for in general feel quite confident where we are in our studies.

6.  I am struggling with how much to push Ethan in school.  I feel he is capable of all As, based on teacher feedback and previous test scores.  He received all As in the first quarter, but I can see that the attention to math detail is a problem for him.  It is stressful to always be teetering at that 92 mark wondering whether he can bring it up in time.  I am sure I impart this stress onto him.  I finally told him that if he did his best, then ok.  What do you do?  Push him, or let him find his way.  Take away television or screens so he can devote more time in practice, or be satisfied with a B?  What am I teaching him?  Still in prayer over this one.

7.  We are still attending morning swim practices.  Ethan and I have adapted quite well, in fact.  I get my workout in and he feels extra energetic with morning practices.  He has made such strides in his swim times this year.  I know he is pleased.  I hope the trend continues.  Last year, we saw a near complete halt to any drops in time after Christmas.  He is working hard, but at times just wants to do noth-ing - no school, no work, no chores, no lego robotics, noth-ing.  I have thought about if he is over scheduled, and am considering some changes in the first of the year.  In addition, I have completed the requirements to become a Stroke & Turn Judge for USA Swimming.  It took some effort and I am pleased to have accomplished it.

8.  It is Christmas time.  Too many things going on and trying as every year to create the magic of the holidays for the kids.  I love traditions and I love seeing my kids get excited to relive our favorite ones, even if it drives me a little batty.  We do gingerbread houses, craft Saturday (where we make ornaments), Bags for the Bus Stop, driving to look at Christmas lights with family, our church Christmas performance, and finally hosting a Christmas party.  Right now, I don't foresee being able to get it all done, but you never know.  Sometimes things just magically fall into place.

This is how life is rolling these days at the Dumoulin house...

Last week, I went to 7 doctors appointments. One for Ethan, one for Lily and 5, yes, 5 for me.

Ethan's appointment was to confirm no additional complications from a marathon viral infection that lastest 12 days, missing 6 days of school. This week he is finally recovering some of his energy he lost from a constant fever for that long. He has just stopped falling asleep mid-day, yet still has a random cough that produces gags.  He is slowly returning to normal.

Lily's appointment was in Greensboro with her pediatric opthamologist. She will have eye surgery sometime in the next month for her accomodating esotropia. Her very strong glasses are not fully correcting her vision issues, so they will cut the muscle to tighten it. This procedure is done at a day surgery center and lasts about 20 minutes. I believe there is some discomfort the first day or two and then a week of a bloody looking eye, reminiscient of the worst pink eye you have seen.  Poor Lily.

My situation was a little more complicated, but the results were very positive. I had an MRI and mammogram and an appointment with my OB-GYN all in the same day (3 appointments right there). Talk about being exposed, poked, and prodded. I felt just one step away from porn status, really. As usual with my situation, I am declaring war with my insurance company over the MRI which is recommended by every medical board with my life-time risk of breast cancer being over 20%. It is actually 26%, but when you get over 20% does it really matter? Regardless, they won't cover it, which means $1,400 out of pocket for me each and every time. Aren't they gems?

The remaining two appointments were because they found some area of concern on my MRI. This the third time this has happened. Their recommendation was to biopsy the area assisted by MRI. After the procedure I was sent for another mammogram to note the location of an injected clip. The clip is used to mark where they collected the tissue. All very heavy and all very irritating at the same time. Not too emotional this go around, but more like, why is this happening again? At what point will I not have any tissues left to take? My MRI tech was quite a "McDreamy" making it all very interesting to be sitting there with the front of my gown open, exposing one side. However, my doctor pretty much destroyed that enjoyment by squeezing my boob as if checking to see if the melon were ripe...right in front of him. To be more accurate, I should say squeezing like a peach, as she tried to control the bleeding of the biopsy entry point. Nothing says "hot" like having steri-strips and neosporin gooped on the side of you, while incoherently saying you are fine with a gigantic red mark on your forehead from laying face down on your stomach for 30-45 minutes. The bottom line and fantastic news is that the results were negative for anything cancerous. Now, I just need to decide how much it is worth to continue with these "recommended" tests.  I am also reconsidering genetic testing although that isn't fool-proof either.
Ethan is running for student council, thinking about a hip hop dance class and participating in Cotillion. For those not in the south, Cotillion is a class that teaches manners, etiquette, and basic dance skills. Ironically, we were 30 minutes late to the first class as I wrote the time down incorrectly. Who is late for a class on etiquette?  The Dumoulins. 

The hip hop dance thing is unsettling to me. I know I am being ridiculous, but sometimes I just live in the 19th century, ok? He even said he was ok with taking jazz or tap if he had to as he might "enjoy" that. Gosh, I hope he really wants to do this because he knows he can meet some girls. Either way, as this "interest" sinks in, we will play the waiting game on exploring our options.

We, meaning Ethan, resumed morning swim practices today. I am most thrilled to report that our gracious coach has delayed the start of practice by 15 minutes. Now, I only have to have Ethan at the Sports Center at 5:15 am instead of 5:00 am. Nice. Wake-up time is an easy 4:45...still considered to be the night before, not this morning by me. When I returned home at 8 am, I had taken Ethan to practice, worked-out (translation: walked on a treadmill for 30 minutes at 3.5), made a run to Wal-Mart (NO ONE is at Wal-Mart at 6:15 am), grabbed a cup of coffee at Chik-fil-a, picked Ethan back up and hauled him to school. Of course, he left his gym clothes in the car which meant another trip to the school. However, I thought my productivity prior to 8 am was pretty admirable considering I can easily sleep until 9:30 or 10 am on weekends. Deep down, could I be a morning person? No. It is all because I love my son. It is now 12:30 pm as I type this and I can hardly keep my eyes open. Did I say how much I love my son? By the way, it was a first for me to go into a Wal-Mart while it was dark, only to exit when it was getting light. I thought people only did that when they went to bars in Europe.

Lily has taken to shouting out random math problems throughout the day.  Yesterday afternoon, as she lounged on our oversized chair in the kitchen, she announced that 700 plus 600 equals 1300.  Cuddling up with me before bed, she did a borrowing subtraction problem with 3-digit numbers out loud, without paper. If you don't know what that is, I think it was something like 318-189=129.  She is nutso over math and I do not get it at all.

What other ridiculousness is going on our family, you ask? Well, homeschool, of course. How does one homeschool when at at doctor's office more than her own house? Well, she doesn't. Complete fail last week for the most part. Here's another eye opener...using the instructor's manual is actually a helpful thing when teaching math. Sometimes I wonder how my children know anything. For the first time in our brief homeschooling journey, I have given up on a curriculum choice for one of my girls. The bible course I used with Sadie during 3rd grade is just too difficult for Lily. Words like attributes, polytheism, and atheist are not ones Lily can retain. At. all. Time to do some research.  Today we had some success with two little experiments in science.  One was throwing marbles in bowls of flour to demonstrate how craters are made and the impact they have on a planet's surface.  The other was melting butter to pour over custard bowl which was covered in four.  This was to mimic a volcanic eruption.  The key part to this was that when the butter cools, it hardens up a bit like the lava does when it cools. 

I have found that here is little substitute for the retention of information than hands-on study and/or video enforcement.  To compliment our study of Australia, our family watched a great documentary about Australia Saturday morning.  The kids squawked a bit through it and I threatened to give them a pop quiz.  Afterall, I am the teacher.  I can do that sort of thing.  In the end though, we all learned a lot and each child could give me 2-3 different facts about Australia.  Netflix has become our greatest ally in this type of teaching. Once we complete our notebook section on Australia, they might be ready to go eat some vegemite!  Next up...AFRICA in our semester of World Geogrpahy!  I have about 6 movies in the queue.  That will probably send them over the edge. 

As I down my third cup of caffiene today, I wonder how I will get anything else done.  The projects just keep piling up and home maintenance keeps getting shoved farther and farther down the list.  My view is that if God wanted me to get them done, then He would give me the time.  Right?

Not Today.

I am hiding in my room.  Yes, hiding.  For the moment I cannot deal with my middle child, my stomping, slinging, irritated, grumpy, frustrated middle child.  All of this energetic display over...long division.  She knows how to do it, but just doesn't want to do it.  Can I blame her?  I hated it.  Yet, the workbook pages are there, empty, waiting.  Not only does she not want to do it, but she doesn't want to keep the problems "in line."  She wants to do it her way and wants to understand fully why she must keep it looking orderly.  I am not about to explain dividing decimals to her at this point.  She just doesn't like how it looks to have a remainder dangling out there in space, not above a line.  I just walked out of the room.  Not going to entertain her today.  Not going to give her an excuse as to why she is still at her desk after we have picked Ethan up from school.  Not going to argue or console or assist her to the point of doing the work for her.  Not going to do it today.  The burden is hers, not mine.  So, I hide.

End of School Year Review

School ended.  It ended nearly 2 months ago and I let it slip by with nary a mention.  Ideas for this blog come and go as I go about my days, but they don't find their way onto this screen.  My picture taking is down, my scrapbooking nonexistent, documentation of the little things is dwindling.

As I type this, I am sitting in the car heading home from our week at Ocracoke Island.  What a wonderful thing technology is that I have Internet access on a laptop in a moving car.  It certainly helps pass the time.

Ethan is now a middle schooler. Sixth grade looms ahead in the fall.  I remember those sticky middle school years and it makes me long for the next three tumultuous years to pass quickly.  He ended the year with an all A average. He had 2 Bs throughout the year, but they were both one point away from an A, so it wasn't too difficult to turn those into all As for the year. He had some pretty fantastic remarks from his teachers as well, so I feel good about where he is headed.  Stanford scores, once again, qualify him for the Duke Tip program in several areas. He begged to do Math Camp at school this summer...who am I to turn that down?  He still has some maturing to do in regards to goofiness and blabbering, but sometimes I think I am too hard on some naturally occurring irritations of an 11 year old boy.  He is still swimming and enjoying it, but I believe that the craziness of this activity has subsided.  This will be a nice addition to his high school transcript, but he is more likely to benefit from his academic gifts in the future, than he ever will in sports.

Sadie finished our first year of homeschool.  We struggled a bit in the end with completing work and our enthusiasm for learning. However, she learned what she needed and then some.  She showed strong gains overall in her Stanford Testing scores with the exception of Math.  It wasn't as high as last year, but still higher than her class average.  Reading was fantastic and Listening showed a tremendous gain.  Her scores qualify for the Duke Tip program in several areas, too.  I tribute that to the necessity of focusing on me, her teacher, at all times.  The environment of homeschool does not allow for daydreaming.  Although most school work comes easily for her, she just doesn't care about it.  I don't know if it is boredom, or lack of motivation, but rarely do I see Sadie "tackle" school work with keen focus on accuracy and completing her task to the best of her ability.  She would much prefer to be outside, collecting animals to care for and to learn about.  She dawdled about with swimming this year.  Some days she cared, some days she could have cared less.  Considering she probably put forth about 40% effort total for the year, she did all right.  One area in which I never had to prod her was with her piano and participation in the arts (drama and dance).  She practiced without any reminders and seemed always to enjoy being on stage.  I always wonder what Sadie could actually achieve in academics, sports, whatever, if she actually put forth what I see is her total potential.  I don't think this is something I can teach her, but is something she has to figure out herself.  However, I also believe that happiness and joy are always going to be more important to her than success.  Should I really complain about that?  Shouldn't we all be that way?

Lily finished her 1st grade year with very high marks, a perfect report card.  Considering she is one of the youngest in her class and that we were advised to consider holding her back in school, I am pleased.  I think the biggest shocker to me, however, were her Stanford scores.  Not only did she vastly improve her scores over last year, her reading lexile score was 900 (about a 6th grade level).  What a little sneaker!  She can act so incapable of everyday tasks sometimes that I think there might be an issue.  Now, I realize that she just likes to act like a baby.  She still has this amazing sense of imagination and ability at creative play.  She loves to do summer work and learn. In fact, she brought her summer workbook with her to a swim meet to pass the time. She is not necessarily the most coordinated child, so swimming is a good sport for her. It forces her to work on that aspect of her body.  Also, she can go at her own pace and I would venture to guess that we may still only have three legal strokes at the end of this year.  She, too, loved piano and any sort of musical activity she was involved in.  She received the "Friendliest" award this year for her class.  Her enthusiasm for new things never wavers and she is the first to bring along her friends who might not feel as confident.  Lily has no clue she might not be "good" at something, an attitude I hope remains for a very long time. 

It was a solidly successful year for the Dumoulins.  We are incredibly blessed to have been given these three precious gifts.

First Days of School

We have rounded the corner into another school year.  Ethan took off yesterday as a middle schooler.  Jay took him to school for the first day without me.  It didn't help that Ethan announced that I was sometimes embarrassing with my photo taking. (gee, thanks, Ethan)  I am still wrapping my mind around his entry into middle school.  I remember those years full of social challenges and meandering foci.  My prayers is for him to be a tad more guided and focused as he navigates the hormone-infested waters that is the middle school pool.  This is the first year that he will change classes throughout the day, garnering a new set of classmates in each class.  In some ways this is a good thing in that issues going on throughout the day are not festered by being in the same environment.  However, he isn't around some of his friends for much of that day.  All in all, he seems very determined to have a banner year.

We began homeschool yesterday, although Sadie was sick.  I wasn't pushing too much with her, but went head-first with Lily. Lily was pretty enthusiastic, particularly with math.  She kept wanting to do more and more, asking when she would get to her times tables.  We still have to tackle subtraction with renaming before we get to that.  She is a girl who is constantly drilling in on patterns and sequences.  I love to see how her mind works as she discovers and creates these strings of order throughout her day whether in a store, nature, or her room.

Sadie had been running a fever for several days, but finally seemed to be coming out of it yesterday.  My kids are so rarely sick that on the rare times that they are, I am needlessly worded.  However, as the day wore on, she drifted into the bonus room and settled in to start some work...without being asked.  What a turn around from last year! I think having Lily at home is definitely going to be a huge encouragement.

Here is our plan for the first half of the year with the girls:

Sadie 4th Grade
Language - Abeka, Language A
Easy Grammer 5 for reinforcement and extra practice
Reading Comprehension - Jacob's Ladder- It is a very challenging program for gifted kids, so we are starting with 2nd-3rd grade level to get the swing of things. 
Writing - Daily 6 Trait Writing. 
Math - Singapore 4A, however I realized yesterday that we need to do about 2 weeks of 3A/3B review before moving to new material. 
Spelling - Spelling Workout, Level E
Geography - Around the World in 180 Days.  We will do an overview of World Geography for the first half of the year.  This is a great series because it offers several levels within the same book, meaning you can revisit it a couple years, drilling down deeper each time.
Science - Astronomy by Apologia. 
History - A Story of the World, Part 1.  We did this out of order last year, beginning with Part 4 which was a 4th - 8th grade level.  I am discovering that Part 1 will be a piece of cake for Sadie after doing Part 4. It is history through the last Roman Emperor.
Bible/Worldview - Who Am I?  by Apologia.  They have created a journal to go along with this series.  Can not wait to delve into it.

P.E.  Swimming 2x a week, Soccer
Arts:  Drama, Dance, Piano, Cake Decorating
Extras:  Lego Physics

Sadie has pretty decent handwriting, so I am not going to push her to do this every day.  It will probably be something I use as filler when we have a light day.  I also picked up some fun brain teaser books to break up the monotony of schedule.

Her goals for the year include:
1. Having a great attitude
2. Increasing accuracy in all her work.
3. All written work to completed in complete, grammatically correct sentences

She would also like to plan, shop for and cook an entire dinner this year. She is very excited about this.

Lily 2nd Grade

Language - Abeka, Language 2

Writing - Writing with Ease 2, which also serves as reading comprehension practice
Math - Singapore 2A, which I suspect she will fly through based on yesterday's work.
Spelling - Spelling Workout, Level C
Geography - Around the World in 180 Days.
Science - Astronomy by Apologia, in conjunction with Sadie
History - A Story of the World, Part 1.
Bible/Worldview - Who Is God? by Apologia.
Handwriting - Transitions

P.E.  Swimming 2x week, Soccer
Arts:  Piano, Dance, Music class
Extras:  Lego Physics, Marvels of Nature

Lily's handwriting and fine motor skills are pretty atrocious.  I am trying not to get too freaky about them, but know we have got to get serious about them.  She cannot tie her shoes yet, so obviously this is where we start to work.

Her goals this year include:
1. To become more independent
2. To learn to control her emotions
3. Read, read, read

I also want Lily to fix and clean-up breakfast for Sadie and Ethan, learn to ride her bike without training wheels, and tie her shoes (as mentioned above).

Here we go!

Social Sadie

The most difficult part of homeschooling Sadie has been her social transition.  She is a very social creature. She is in her element when she is leading other, including others, meeting new people.  Rarely does she not make friends immediately with other kids.  At the same time, her propensity for jealousy often leads to behavior that can be an aversion. 

Homeschool has taken a bit of that away from her.  She sees her friends from last year at school and knows she has not been included in playdates or parties.  Changes at her swim site also left a little void in her heart.  She has been lonely and lost, often feeling friend-less. 

My attempts at helping the situation haven't been met with much success.  Her enrollment at Faith Academy on Tuesdays has allowed her to be around other kids, but many of them are older and almost all live in Greensboro making social interaction outside of the Academy quite difficult.  Swimming has also had its issues when she was excluded from a clique that was briefly formed with some of the older girls.

At the same time, all of this has provided invaluable teaching opportunities.  What defines a good friend?  Is there anything as a "perfect friend."  How is your behavior attracting or repelling friends?  On a circumstantial level, I have enrolled her in another homeschool group, in addition to Faith Academy, that is in our town to allow more social opportunities.  I noticed that she seemed to have a better time, socially, at our latest swim meet.

However, nothing quite ever prepares you or numbs you to your child being hurt.  Those feelings of rejection are tough to console and no matter what I do on the circumstantial level, the pain is there. Life lessons that never seem to have an end.

Sometimes...

Playing with water balloons, placing them in your shirt to look well-endowed...curious.
Filling them with warm water so they are a bit more comfortable...smart.
Wearing them out in public for several hours before your mother notices...CRAZY!

The kids have been changing and I have not documented a thing.  Even my photography has fallen behind. I discovered that when I was creating calendars for Christmas presents that the month of January contained only a couple of photographs.  I am sure my kids will forgive me for missing ONE month of their lives, but I know that 2010 will be an easy, easy year to scrapbook.  I don't think I have one photo of Ethan in his Halloween costume or at his Christmas play.  It wasn't just Ethan either.  Everyone got a bit short-changed this year, including me and blogging.

I have to let it go.  It was beginning to stress me out.  There were times when I felt the urge to write.  I felt I had something to put into visual words, but time slipped away.  As soon as the mood struck, it was gone again.  So, I have a little look at my year at the beginning, but with some gaping holes here at the end.  Here is my attempt to connect some dots.

In October we took an extended family trip to Doughton Park in NC.  It is only about an hour and a half from the house, but the landscape changes quite dramatically and suddenly, you are in the mountains.  It is rustic and a lesser travelled area of the Blue Ridge Parkway which we really like.  The hiking trails are gentle and there are plenty of apples to pick along the way.  This year's trip couldn't have been any better.  The weather was gorgeous and we had a lot of down time just lazing around on a blankets under trees while the kids explored the areas around us.  I can still feel the warmth of the sun, the gentle breeze while reading a great book. 

Later in the month, we had a swim meet which yield some pretty decent drops.  The swim meet fell on the same day as the BBQ Festival in Lexington which I did not realize until after we had signed up for the meet.  We had to miss the festival which was very disappointing for the kids.

Next, we went with the swim team to the CORN MAZE just outside of High Point.  The kids also went panning for gems and minerals there.  That place is fun, but a bit of a racket.  I don't really enjoy wandering around in a corn field, but we were with another family who had a wonderfully keen sense of direction.  That made it a bit more bearable.

The elimination of market renting was a bit of a surprised to us, but in the end turned out to be a nice break from the hectic Octobers we have experienced in the past.  I miss having the clean house, but not the move.  I have been slowly cleaning out the house over the past months as the house just needs it twice a year if I want to maintain some sanity.

Halloween quickly approached and the kids chose the following as their costumes:

Ethan:  a banana (bizarre and completely not understandable)

Sadie:  Diva Ladybug (taking a sweet ladybug to another level)

Lily:  Pumpkin Princess (very cute)

Although we bought pumpkins this year, we never got around to carving them.  See, I told you it was a terrible year for traditions.   Ethan went to Halloween sleepover on the night that the girls went to our church trunk or treat.  Thus, I have a picture of the girls and not him.  We went trick or treating the next night in Willow Creek, but I forgot the card to my camera. We didn't have time to stop by our neighbors or to go to the church down at the end of our street because it was a school night.  Again, more traditions that were not upheld.  But, the kids had fun and that is really the point of it, right? 

Ethan brought home a report card with one B, the rest As.  I felt terrible for him because the B was only one point away from an A. If he received all As, then he would get texting on his Ipod, but alas he didn't.  Frankly, I can deal without him having the texting for quite a bit longer.  Therefore, it might be the only time I am happy for him to get a B. Ethan lost three teeth in the last week.  A little strange, but I understand quite normal for this age.  He seems to have settled into school and found his place in his class. Socially, he fluctuates between groups, which I think it probably best.  He has been quite helpful and responsible lately.  In fact, I would almost say that I see some maturation regarding taking ownership of schoolwork, swimming and life, in general.  The results have been a higher level of success in all areas.  It has been a great life lesson for him to see what hard work can achieve. 

Sadie, based on my grading, also received all As.  Homeschool is moving right along and the only subject area in which we seem to struggle is getting her motivated to write.  She can do it, but it isn't her preference.  Instead, she gravitates towards math.  I taught her how to do long division yesterday.  Her response, "I could do this all day.  I loooooovvvee this!"  Clearly, I did not contribute to that part of her being.  An area in which I must make more effort is in her socialization.  Sadie loves to be around people and thrives on playdates with friends. Despite swimming several times a week and her attendance at Faith Academy every Tuesday, Sadie lacks the amount of interaction that she needs.  Therefore, I am going to add some classes through High Point Home Educators on Monday that will not interfere with her regular schoolwork.  They are merely add-on, fun classes like cake decorating.  In general, I see more maturation with her choices and self-control.  After much deliberation and indecisiveness and several conferences later, Sadie has decided to continue swimming.  She took a week off to decide and ultimately determined that she does like it enough to continue.  I won't get into all the details that I think contributed to the seesawing, but in the end, she made the decision.

 Lily had a perfect O report card and loves school and her friends.  When there was a snow day this week, she cried because she wanted to go to school.  What a difference this year makes!  She has developed into a fantastic reader and I imagine she will be in full-on chapter books by the end of the school year.  She reads with such expression, too, which is so cute.  She is still ridiculously in love with snuggling and hugs.  And, she still does not have her front two teeth.  They have been out since June, but the dentist assures me that they are there, just slow to come in.  I don't know that I can say she has improved in swimming, but she likes it.  I am sure she has, but she is not the most coordinated little child.  It will take a little while.

So, we enter into November.  Sadie turned 9 and had a spa party at a place called Arts 2 Zebras.  Many girls from her class last year came which made Sadie feel good.  Her cousin, Gray, was notably absent, but that is just the situation at the moment.  Jay took her to get her ears' pierced which was a cool dad/daughter thing.  She has been asking to have this done for well over a year and we linked it to some behavior changes.  She feels very grown-up now.  We had the family here for Thanksgiving and the turkey, injected with spices and deep-fried, was divine.  For once, the family hung out for most of the day watching movies, playing games, etc.  My mom, Aunt Sue, Ethan and I played a game called WhooNu.  We laughed so hard - well, really cackled, that Ethan wondered, out LOUD, how any of us got married.  He said we were just too loud.  Oh, the words of a 10 year old!  Somewhere in this month we had some family portraits done, the results of which are nothing short of miraculous.  Editing is a wonderful thing and I could not be happier with the shots.  Later, the girls and I attended the High Point Christmas parade.  It stung just a tad that Ethan did not want to go this year.  However, we enjoyed watching the various groups.  It was a little nice to know that Ethan regretted his decision upon our return home.

December has rolled around and with it, I have tried to redeem some of our family traditions.  All the Christmas cards and party invitations have been mailed.  The presents are purchased and mostly wrapped.  We had our annual Christmas Craft Saturday with one other family where we made several ornaments.  And, we have completed this year's service project, Bags for the Bus Stop.  The kids made goody bags with hand warmers, candy, hand sanitizer, lip balm, a hand written note, and a few other things to give out at the central bus stop in our town.  Living here, you almost have to have a car, because public transport is just not that widely available.  The bus stops usually don't have shelter and the wait times can be long.  Last week, I pulled the van up and let the kids pass out over 40 bags to the people waiting.  They were so graciously received.  Some of the older ladies even hugged the kids and said, "God bless you."  The kids returned to the car glowing and excited.  Giving is always more rewarding that receiving.

Another swim meet yielded our best results of the season.  The hard works is finally paying off for Ethan as he had 4 new time cuts and is very close to 2 more cuts of the next level.  Sadie is now ridiculously close to new time cuts in 6 events.  I expect a bit of a blow-out at the next meet.  Overall, the kids seem satisfied with what they are achieving and therefore, I need to be as well.

The school Christmas program was Tuesday.  Ethan played the part of one of the WEE three kings.  It was the most hilarious part of the program.  It was a perfect fit for him.  That was his last Christmas program.  Sniff sniff.   Lily was very into the program and performed her songs and motions quite enthusiastically. 

The remainder of the traditions include a drive to look at holiday lights, a visit to Santa and a piano recital on Sunday.  We also have our company Christmas party and our little friend party this week.  I have some baking to do and of course, cleaning and grocery shopping in preparation.  Should be a hectic, but really joyous week!

Another day...

Things I have learned in the last week or so...

1.  A trip to the beach with a couple of girlfriends can drastically change the direction in which you are going.

2.  I had a friend tell me that she did not know one homeschooling mom who did not have a complete crisis during their first year, regardless of how the year was going.  Makes sense to me.  There is a lot of under the surface stress in that department.

3.  I don't have to accomplish anything big for God. I just have to love Him.  Sometimes stillness and quiet are good things. Sometimes loving God and loving my neighbor happens to be with those who are with me every day.  I have to be ok with that.

4.  Despite previous diagnosis of teeth grinding, poor eyesight (resulting in glasses), sinus infections, and allergies, the new most logical diagnosis for my forehead, eye throbbing, and cheek numbness is a type a migraine.  Here's to some new meds while I start documenting their occurrences.

5.  A doctor who is willing to tell you a very personal story about their own bout with depression and spiraling emotions to help you not feel alone in your misery is the type of doctor I want to see.

6.  My husband that can make me laugh no matter how terrible I feel physically, how irritated I am at him, or how on the verge of bawling I am, is a keeper.  Twelve years and I can say...he is a keeper.

7.  On that same note as saying he is a keeper, I can also state that no matter how minuscule, simplified or even common sense filled the list might be, Jay is never going to complete any "to do" list that I make when I go out of town.  I will never write such a list again.  It is a waste of my time and energy.

8.  Keeping my mouth shut and walking away is always, always, the better decision in the long run.  Let the battle be the Lord's. 

9.  Lily is becoming quite the comedian.  Funny little looks and clever little statements.  Keeps me smiling.  What a little joy.

10.  Although she can come across as being a bit ditsy, Lily is actually quite aware of what is going around her, what is on the calendar and when things are due. 

11.  Ethan can exaggerate social situations for fear of rejection.  His own recognition of such is quite mature for him.  He is such a deep thinker. 

12.  Ethan is very determined to stay on track and focused at school and his outside activities.  I know that sounds like a blanket statement, but I see him taking more initiative than in years past.

13.  Sadie will never be allowed to take prednisone again after tomorrow. Never. 

14.  Homeschooling is still the best decision I could have ever made. 

15. Sadie is a lovely little girl (while not taking prednisone).  Her multiple phone calls while I was away made me realize how much we have grown to enjoy each other's company.  I think we missed each other more than we had anticipated.

16.  No matter how disappointed I am because of my own actions and those that I must deal with, my children and my husband are more than enough reason to never give up.

Pregnant Summer

School orientation last night means that summer is coming to a screeching halt and school will begin in a mere 4 days.  Much of our adventures have been undocumented this summer and for the sake of remembrance, I will make a short synopsis here.  I say "sake of remembrance" because Jay firmly believes I have some sort of short-term memory issues invading my brain.  Maybe he is right.  Actually, now that I think about it, if I do have some sort of short-term memory lapses going on, then I won't remember much of this summer, right?  Oh never mind.

School let out in May and as documented in this blog, we headed for the Old Country to see Jay's parents.  Lovely trip.  The kids were fantastic traveling and Jay's host parents, Jimmy and Nancy, were in awe as well.  I have a wonderful peace when I am in the Netherlands.  Maybe it is the simpler lifestyle or the sounds of the language rolling off their tongues, maybe it is was just vacation.  It was the perfect kick-off to summer.

Upon our return, we dove head first into swim season.  Did you get that pun?  I made the mistake of signing the kids up for three swim teams this summer.  Even writing it, I wonder what was going through my brain at the time. Two summer league teams and one year round team kept us hopping from pool to pool and meet to meet.  In the end, we weren't really focused on anything more than packing bags and driving around in my car.  Progress was slow and sometimes not as evident, but the kids had fun with their summer league teams and friends.  Overall Sadie consistently came in second in each of her events, with an occasional first and third thrown in.  Ethan was a consistent fifth placer for the team and was counted on for the longer, more difficult event of the 100 IM. Lily's first meet was not quite what I had expected.  She jumped in, came up for air, heard all the people sheering and completely freaked out.  She grabbed the lane rope and I wasn't too sure she would give it up and swim to the side of the pool.  Thankfully, I can chalk it up to being completely unprepared for the noise, the experience of a swim meet with a little jet lag from our trip to Europe.  She recovered in time for the next meet and from then on, she jumped in and finished with no problem.  She even earned a few ribbons in the process which thrilled her little 5-year old heart to no end.

Interspersed with swimming were trips to go bowling, skating, to ArtQuest, and sleepovers with friends, piano lessons, time spent with Grandparents, away camp at Camp Lurecrest, Lily's first overnight guest, a day at Wet 'n Wild water park, a trip to Wrightsville Beach, golf camp, cheer camp and Barbie ballet camp.

Some highlights from the above include Ethan's return to Camp Lurecrest which he counted down the days until he boarded the bus in Charlotte.  It also marked Sadie's first foray into overnight camp.  She loved it and the letters home announced that she was not homesick at all!  Their first week after camp was the most delightful one for me as they were so well-behaved. They can't wait to return next summer!

Lily attended cheer camp at school and also Barbie ballet camp at a local dance studio.  She was thrilled with both, although coordination may not her strongest suit.  Still, she completed her little routines and performed with enthusiasm at the final shows of each event.  Lily was also treat to a day trip to Tweetsie Railroad while Ethan and Sadie were away.  A huge thanks goes out to my father and stepmom for this treat which translates to me not having to go back to Tweetsie ever again!  Yay!  She came home with a pink cowboy hat and wonderful memories. 

Some funny, or well, now funny moments over the summer include Lily's self-inflicted hair cut. Her efforts were best described as a long mullet with several chunks taken out of the back. Yes, I freaked out.  Thankfully, we had a even-keeled friend visiting at the time who promptly helped with procuring an appointment at a professional salon just a short time later!  Now, Lily sports a cute little bob which is really much, much easier to maintain.

Ethan and Lily had several things in common this summer - birthdays, birthday parties and lost teeth.  Ethan lost an incisor and Lily lost both top teeth leaving her with a little Dracula look.  Ethan celebrated his 10th birthday twice - once on his actual birth date which coincided with our trip to the Netherlands and then a pool party with his friends in July.  Lily celebrated her birthday with her family and two friends at Golden Corral (her choice!) and then at home.  Her party is this Sunday at the Rol-A-Rink.

Our trip to Wrightsville Beach was a nice cap to a full summer.  We only went for a long weekend, but it provided a nice burst of family time before school begins.  We had one crazy series of events that occurred on Saturday.  It all started when Sadie caught a live jelly fish in a bucket.  It was the "hit" with all the kids in our area of the beach.  The kids were all chanting, "Bury it! Bury it!"  However, not heeding this advice, Jay decided to throw it back into the ocean to "save it."  I could discuss his decision regrading the fate of the jellyfish, but I will continue with the story and let you make the call whether this was the correct one or not.  After flinging the jellyfish about two feet away from his position in the water which was about knee deep, the jellyfish did what most would have done, been forced to the short by the crashing waves.  The kids noticed it was coming back on shore and crept closer to see what it was doing.  At this point, it made it to shore and Lily, with her lack of coordination, tripped on nothing, her knee landing right smack onto the jellyfish.  Ouch.  I rushed my screaming child to the lifeguard who told me to put wet sand on the sting.  From this moment on, Lily refused to go back into the ocean, not even getting her feet wet.  And this is what Lily proclaimed she would write on her first piece of paper on the first day of first grade: "I went to the beach and got stung by a jellyfish and it hurt a lot."  Great.


Ethan and Sadie have been over the moon with golf camp this week.  Both have begged to continue with lessons after the camp is over. That leads me to our "school year schedule."  Typing those actual words give me serious anxiety.  I like simplicity although I rarely achieve it with my schedule.  This year looks to be the worst.  I am trying to figure out how I get myself into this type of mess and the bottom line is that I try to make life "fair" to each of my three kids while also giving them the best opportunities possible.  I know both of these philosophies are very worldly viewpoints and neglect the much more important "God first, then spouse, then kids" belief.

Hereis our tentative schedule:
Ethan:  Swimming M.W.TH, golf - to be determined (decided against scouts and music lessons this year)
Sadie:  Faith Academy on Tuesdays from 12:30 - 4:45, piano Thursday 1:30, swimming M.WTH
Lily: Swimming TH, Piano Tuesday 3:00, soccer - to be determined

Writing it out like that makes it appear fairly simple, but what it means is that no one gets home from their day until around 5:45 M-TH.  And on Tuesday, it will be later if Lily does soccer on that day.  I pushed Lily off of soccer all last year and feel like I have to at least let her try it because of her strong interest in it. It also means that Ethan will have to do homework on the go this year.  His ability to stay focused is tenuous at best and will the stress and anxiety of keeping up, staying on track and potential of becoming complacent be our downfall?  Time will tell.  I can always move swim days around and drop one altogether. Soccer will also end in early November.

The bonus of the schedule, I think, is that Sadie will not have homework or projects so that eliminates one issue at night.  Lily and I will have some alone time together while the other two are swimming as I plan on heading home during swim practice to start dinner.  I will also allow Ethan to stay up until 9 this year. The girls will hit the bed at 8, but giving Ethan the extra hour will give us more time together and give him some needed downtime after homework.

Homeschool.  I am waiting on two books, but have been able to make two weeks of lesson plans without them.  I have tentatively set Sadie up in the dining room as we are reworking our bonus room with cabinetry and desks.  What was once a playroom is being transformed into a study/hangout room for tweens.  I spoke with Sadie this morning to get a feel for where she was with all the changes.  She did not go with us to the orientation last night at school and I wondered what was going on in her mind.  She responded that she was really excited about staying at home this year.  Relief.

We have named our school Raritas Academy, which means rare and unique.  The requirements for the state include: registering your school, sending in the instructor's high school (or above) diploma, and then keeping attendance throughout the year.  I am not sure that end of year testing is required, but it doesn't matter because I plan on doing that anyway.  So, we are all set to start our first day of school on the same day as Ethan and Lily.  Jay was quick to point out that he already knew who would win the "Teacher of the Year" and "Student of the Year!"

If you have made it through all of this rambling, thanks. 

School ends and summer begins

We are home from our vacation which turned out to be one, if not the best, trip we have had to visit Jay's parents.  Maybe it is the kids getting older, I don't know.  But, the trip was easy, the weather great and I came home pretty satisfied with what we did.

It is a little strange to come home and see that summer is in full swing.  School was still in when we departed. It is hard to wrap my head around our summer schedule.  I have a few updates regarding the kids and will forgo writing about any more travel details for now.

Miss Lily has completed her first year of school with flying colors.  Her teachers felt that Lily had a tremendous year of growth in terms of behavior and adjusting to school life.  She went from asking not to go every morning to crying that it was over and she wouldn't see her friends and her teachers.  At the year end assembly, Lily was given the "Loving Heart" award for her class.  She was thrilled with this award as she said, "No one else got Loving Heart as their award."  On her last day of school, the teacher had her sit in front of the class and her classmates were asked to make a comment about Lily.  The teacher said they all talked about Lily's loveliness and sweetness. 

Lily took her first standardized test this year as well.  We do not have the results, yet. However, when I asked how she did, Lily announced to me, "I got them all right."  I asked how she knew and she said, "I answered them all and they were right!"  I love her confidence.  She loves to color, do anything musical and spend time looking at books and reading.

On our trip, Lily lost her first top tooth.  The tooth fairy came all the way to France to visit her in the night.  Unfortunately, the tooth fairy misread some Euro coins in the dark of night which resulted in Lily receiving quite a bit more than what is normally doled out to the Dumoulin children! The other front tooth is extremely loose so I imagine it will be out within a couple of days.  Sometimes it is difficult to understand what Lily is saying, so I predict no front teeth will put me in the position of translator.

She was fantastic on the plane ride on our trip.  No whining, crying, or any other issues.  It was so completely opposite from our last trip.  Of course, that was three years ago.  What a difference! She loved being with Jay's parents and despite many requests to sit beside me in the car or sit beside me at the table, she was open to whatever activities they had planned for the day. One note on the trip - a slightly bizarre one at that - Lily, age 5, had a day of, hmmm, how do I say this delicately?  Well, she had a day where she stunk, literally.  Body odor.  I was so taken by surprise.  I have no idea if this is a permanent situation or some freaky, I have had too much cheese intake, sort of thing.  I can hardly get her to brush her teeth every day so I can't fathom deodorant.  But, at 5 years old?!?!

Lily' favorite parts of the trip were the Efteling (European-type Disney) and kinder eggs (a hollow chocolate egg with a little toy surprise in the middle).

My Ethan turned 10 while we were on our trip.  Double digits.  Growing too quickly for me, of course.  He finished out the year strong being identified by Duke University's TIP (Talent Identification Program).  Despite this, Ethan could work on staying a bit more focused.  His teacher diplomatically says, "I could deal with Ethan being a bit more present in the classroom."  However, I am most content with his spiritual growth.  He was walking around France reciting the verses he learned this year.  He discovered his favorite verse and has claimed it for his own.

The trip to Europe was an eye-opening one for him.  He was much more aware of the differences between our countries and asked countless "why?" questions.  Many times I couldn't quite come up with a well-thought out answer particularly when he wondered why the teenage girls in France wore only speedos to the lake and not tops.  Yikes!  His favorite parts of the trip were his trip to the Efteling (a sort of European Disney) and the Romange '14-'18, a museum in which everything in it was found within a 3 km distance from the museum, all from WWI and recreated to look like battlefields and bunkers along with many interesting tidbits about life during the war.

Despite growing up, I still get requests for some snuggle time and time alone with mom.  However, I am not allowed to show him any public displays of affection beyond a nice little side hug.  Ethan loves to play his DSi, build with Legos and of course, swim. He is always more interested in hanging out with his friends and is starting to find his little sisters somewhat of a pain if they follow him around or copy him in any way. Many times this is the source of their arguing and fighting which at times escalates to WWIII levels.  It should also be noted that his interest in the opposite sex is beginning to grow.  This should be interesting.

His heart still leans toward servanthood, but I am beginning seeing a bit more resistance lately than I have in the past.  In the personal section of his North Carolina notebook, Ethan wrote that he hopes to be a pastor when he grows up.  I don't know that this will materialize, but I do know that he has a heart of mercy that Jay and I do not.  He is compassionate and sensitive to others' feelings which are essential to that line of work.  Who knows?!?

Ethan is quite excited about swimming this summer.  The unknown and anxiety of the swim team is long over, replaced by competency and confidence.  Our first day at the pool yesterday yielded quite a bit of self-assurance as he reconnected with old pool pals and found a comfortable place.

Sadie is still very much Sadie.  She finished the school year very strong academically and received the Leadership award.  She also received the National Fitness Award for achieving certain physical standards for her age.  Still quite my challenging child, I see much progress being made in her ability to self-control.  I am understanding that much has to do with the excitement level of the situation and how much preparation I have given her before the event or circumstance she is going to have to deal with.  However, I also know that this is Sadie and as much as we practice and teach, she will always have to deal with her highly impulsive nature.

I have had second thoughts regarding homeschooling her.  I don't know why, but I am sure that it is normal to go through these cycles.  The school made it clear they will not be able to offer Sadie any additional work, academically. After seeing her tests scores, Jay and I know another year languishing around is not good mentally, and certainly not behaviorally.  Some of our school books for next year have been purchased and we are waiting for a call from the store to let us know when the next ones have arrived. 

Sadie makes friends very easily and finds it natural to talk to kids, teenagers and adults with ease.  She loves to draw, play outside and swim.  She is very determined and has an incredible ability to learn visually, picking up details and clues most miss.  She is eerily similar to Jay in that she dreams and imagines these great scenarios along with solutions..and then actually executes them. 

She loves, loves, loves animals and is currently going through an obsession with birds.  She combs through books identifying the birds outside and wants desperately to catch one to "observe" it.  I completely envision her house filled with animals when she is an adult.

She also loved the trip to Europe.  She cried the night before we had to leave.  There is so much about Jay's parents place in France that fits her perfectly.  So much area to explore, many places to walk and fill her senses to the brim.  She nearly caught a duckling at the lake on our last day.  Thank goodness she didn't as she honestly thought she would be able to bring the duck home to the U.S. to raise!!!  Her favorite part about the trip was having hot tea with Oma every day.

Overall, the trip served as a fantastic bonding time between Jay's parents and the kids.  Slightly overindulgent, i.e. three ice creams and chips for dinner on the last night, Oma (grandmother) was exactly what I expected for a grandmother who deeply loves her grandchildren and wants to makes up for lost time.  The house in France, in particular, is filled to the top with pictures of the kids on every wall. The kids love her and Opa just as deeply and it warmed my heart to see that even though they may only see each other once a year or even less, they do have a close relationship.

Now, let the summer officially begin!

My cup runneth over

For the first time in my life, at least that I can recall or realize, someone who I once considered one of my closest and dearest friends, doesn't want that title any longer. It sounds so juvenile to write that, doesn't it?  Yet, my heart is a bit sad.  Over the last year, I have left multiple messages on her phone, sent a few emails, contacted her through facebook and even mailed a nice card.  All of which have yielded nothing, not even a one word response.  I let this nearly impact my Mother's Day weekend.  Why is it that we are magnetically pulled to what we don't have?  Gravitating to what seems to be missing, rather than the abundant blessings God has given us.

That realization hit me yesterday morning as I woke to the sounds of "Happy Mother's Day!!!!" at exactly 6:24 AM. In came my three blessings with a tray of breakfast they made for me. On the plate were two pancakes, two sausage biscuits, two slices of toasted cinnamon toast and a pat of butter. They also brought in a cup of coffee which they made themselves. Quickly, they scampered out of the room to retrieve their homemade creations and presents.  My heart was quickly filled with their unconditional adoration and appreciation. 

Here is a poem, one of a handful of Sadie's written declarations of love for me:

Kind
Exactly the mom I want
loving
so cool
everlasting love
She is my journal of secrets
My mom is loving, kind, giving, cool, amazing, she tells awesome stories, the best, patient, a good mom.  I love my mom!


The line that made my heart swoon and brought tears to my eyes was, "She is my journal of secrets."  I have been working on developing a level of trust between the two of us that has been absent in earlier years.  There, in that little line, is the fruit of my labor.  She gets it. 
 
It is nice to have that type of affirmation from the ones you pour your life into.  But, is it necessary?  Not biblically, I know.  We are to give ourselves fully to His service without the guarantee of thanks, without the guarantee of seeing the fruits of our labors.  We should toil, perservering to the end, finding fulfillment in our work for Him, not the pat on the back that boosts our ego.  Even when relationships are failing, we honor God by walking in His ways.
 
As I am writing this blog, let me tell you how God was working to soothe my soul.  I had just ordered new swim bags for the kids to carry all their gear in for practice and meets.  I had been holding off on this purchase because it is not a cheap one and I wanted to be sure the kids were in this for at least another year or so.  Friday was the first day the kids used them.  Friday was also the day of our swim site cookout at our house.  I left practice early in order to have the house ready for the 30 or so guests that would descend directly after practice.  Another swim mom brought my kids, along with 3 others, to the house in what must have been one majorly chaotic ride.  
 
Fast forward to Sunday night when I asked the kids to get their swim gear together.  I saw a look on Sadie's face that made me a little uncomfortable.  She did not know where her brand new bag filled with clothes, bathing suit, etc. was.  This was very, very unlike her as she is usually so responsible.  I chatted with two of the swim moms on facebook and neither had seen it.  I was quickly growing tense over the situation, trying to remain calm until I knew for sure that it was gone.  Was it left at the YWCA, never to be seen again? 
 
My phone rang while I was typing this post.  It was one of those swim moms who had already gone to the YWCA this Monday morning, before 9 AM, to search for Sadie's bag. Sadie's bag - not even one of her own children, not her responsibility. I was blown away by her concern, her generosity of her time, her willingness to help me.  Unfortunately, the bag is not there.  Instead, I mytseriously found it in the trunk of my van which Sadie must have hurriedly thrown in there when she arrived home for the cookout.  Case solved.
 
And, so, here is God gently reminding me of His truths:  1) Focus on what He has given you because no matter the circumstance, there are blessings. 2) He always provides for you. Always. 3) Listening to God's voice offers opportunities to serve and grow and finally 4) We should never, ever be driven by the reaction and response of this world, particularly in our definition of self.  God's ability to fill our cups will always outshine the limited possibilities of this world.

Random musings

I have a multitude of events, issues and thoughts that have occurred over the past several weeks.  I kept a running list of them in this post and have been waiting for a time to add in the details.  Time hasn't made itself available until today and even now, the trash is overflowing out of the toters in driveway.  Writing is the perfect procrastinator to tackling my least favorite chore...bundling and taking the trash to the dump.

We keep swimming along.  Literally.  Today, Lily will attempt to swim her first 25 yard freestyle.  Monday, at the pool, she overheard another mom offer to fix her daughter a grilled cheese.  Lily became fixated.  However, I am militant about not being a short-order cook.  I already had dinner planned for that evening and was not going to add to my work load to whip out a grilled cheese.  I know, harsh.  So, I threw out the idea that I would be thrilled to fix her a grilled cheese if she swam that 25 on Wednesday (which is today).  She seems quite pleased with the idea.  I don't have the heart to tell her that we have dinner plans out and therefore, the grilled cheese won't actually be fixed by me.  Hopefully, she won't drown and won't care where it originates.

Sadie is on her own little rewards obsession.  She is consumed with getting her ears pierced.  I was not allowed this treat until I was in junior high and buy into that old school of thought.  Not to be deterred, Sadie has offered up what I consider a quite amazing goal.  If she gets her A time, she gets her ears pierced.  Mind you, an A time in swimming is somewhere around a junior olympic time.  I told her a BB time would suffice (which is slower).  She wouldn't hear it, insisting on it being an A time.  Time will tell.

Ethan has reached another teenage plateau.  This time, it is not a bad thing.  He realizes that he likes taking a shower in the morning before school and here is the kicker...he likes taking a shower every day!  Wow!  Hip hip hooray for personal hygiene!  He also likes topping it off with a little dab of cologne, which nearly caused my olfactory sense to revolt to my own child.  Thankfully, we have worked our way through "Pepe Le Pew," to "I bathed in it," to "My prescence is known," to now "subtle and appropriate." 

Yesterday, I found an empty cling wrap carton in my driveway.  For several weeks now, I have uncovered some bizarre uses of the wrap by none other than...Sadie.  First I discovered that she wrapped the base of a small pine tree, multiple times.  I am not sure if she thought this would protect the tree? Yesterday, I noticed she made a "wrap" for Lily that served as a wedding gown.  Then she used the wrap like duct tape and attached a glass jar to her scooter into which she deposited a bunch of rose petals.  While Lily walked the driveway, Sadie rode along on her scooter scattering the rose petals.  Later the saran wrap was used to create a sling for Sadie's imaginary broken arm along with some scotch tape.  I guess it is time to start creating a box with all kinds of materials - cardboard, wrap, tin foil, tape, bits and baubles from the office to spur this "creativity?"  The one thing that definitely needs to be included is a pair of scissors as those never seem to be handy when I am in "clean-up and repair mode."

Speaking of Sadie, God has revealed great insight into Sadie over the past several weeks. In all of my praying about her academic future, along with a very odd and difficult circumstance I cannot write about on here, I have discovered this:  Sadie does not have an inherently trustful heart.  The only way that she believes something to be true is if she experiences it.  When I talk about consequences for certain actions to her, I realize those don't resonate with her, until it happens.  When she would climb trees at age 3, I would warn her not to do it because she would fall and hurt herself.  Her response, "I not fall, Mommy.  I not fall."  The tricky issue with all of this is that Sadie does not often "fall," in the literal and figurative sense.  She is good at most everything she tries and therefore, does not encounter many situations that she either has to deal with or can't solve on her own.  Let me clarify.  She makes a LOT of poor decisions, but has become a master of making sure no one knows.  However, this recent difficult situation provided me the opportunity to "save" her from major embarrassment, thereby building a new level of trust.  I am confident that one of the reasons why I am to homsechool next year is to provide more opportunities to grow our relationship. 

I think everyone has heard the phrase, "God has such a sense of humor."  I'll mark this entire homeschool decision into that column.  I mean, Sadie has been my child that I have never shed a tear over when it has come to separation.  First days of preschool, school, camps, etc. I might have appeared to ever so slightly push her through the door, turn and walk very quickly away.  I know, that sounds terrible, doesn't it?  This is no indication of my love for her, but is a statement on my patience and understanding of her.  A year ago, she would have been the LAST one I would ever have considered homeschooling - my most head-strong, strong-willed, challenging, curious, intelligent, tenacious, and crazy child.  God must have howled when I announced that I would never homeschool her. Now, here I sit, just as calm and peace-filled about this decision.  I am excited about it...with Sadie. 

I love my little Lily's inquisitiveness.  I don't recall either of my other two asking so many questions about reading.  Ethan struggled a bit more in the beginning and Sadie just always seemed to know how to read.  However, Lily wants to know why behind everything she doesn't know. Last night it was, "What is that?" as she points to a quotation mark.  "Why do you not sound the "e" on the word gate?" " Why is "want" pronounced "want." Obviously, she wants to push forward with reading.  Looks like I will try to come up with some sort of enrichment for her this summer, too.

So, this is random, but worth mentioning.  I had a complete impulse buy yesterday at Wal-Mart.  I find it fascinating how they package food these days.  Choosing to tout some new health benefit, enticing you to buy a product...and I am Gussy Gullible.  This time around...Ann's House Chocolate Nut Antioxidant.  The label says, "trans fat free, cholesterol free, very low sodium, good source of Antioxidant Vitamin E."  I am sure all of this is true, but not when you consume half the bag in one sitting resulting in 30 g of fat and nearly 800 calories.  Sigh. 

I could continue this post by writing about my ire for these new silly bandz, but time is ticking on the garbage. Yes, I purposely wrote silly bandz and garbage in the same sentence.

April thoughts...

Things that consume my brain in April...

As we are, rather I am, homeschooling Sadie next year, I have been delving into books, websites, magazines, trying to determine what type of environment I want to create for Sadie, what is her learning style, what is my teaching style and what sort of curriculum to choose. I have come to the conclusion that I won't really know what works until we actually start. Therefore, I am going to make some educated guesses and hope for the best.

The kids are at the beginning of long course season in swimming. We have visited several other swimming locations in hopes of determining where we will be next year. Although all the sites have lots of positives, the deciding factors were 1) their love of their current swim coach 2) that I can be a part of a carpool next year which will allow me the luxury of only one day of shuttling the kids to and from practice and finally 3) an incident that happened at the swim banquet which was held at our church. The "incident" was a statement I made to another swim mom. There were a couple of door prizes given away at the banquet in the form of tuition credit. A criterion for being included in the drawing was based on volunteer hours throughout the swim year. They drew three names and before the last name was drawn, I foolishly said, "If I win this last one, we will go to Pyramids." Guess what? They drew my name. I know the statement was not some contractual obligation, but I also know that it hinted at a sign that point to Pyramids. Another note, Sadie received recognition for the largest percentage of time dropped of any swimmer on the team.

My little lovey has started blazing a trail in the reading department. It is so fun to watch her try, listen to her sound out the words and enjoy it. What a blessing it is to witness this first-hand! On the other hand she has delved deeply into the word of blatant disobedience. Makes me miss my "I'll do anything you say" little girl. Hopefully, we are getting back on track soon!

Ethan has developed a nice set of manners when it comes to speaking to other adults. I say "other" because it is not necessarily reflected in his conversations with me, unfortunately. We're working on that. However, it is nice to see the fruits of some labor every once in a while.
Sadie is still collecting "critters" like crazy. How she manages to keep them alive, I don't know. I have been coerced into going to PetsMart today to buy a turtle cage and turtle food. I assure you that I know they carry salmonella and that they are somewhat nasty, but this little turtle is so small that I figure it hasn't had the opportunity to contract any diseases. It is a good lesson on how to practice good hygiene regardless. Yesterday, Sadie was the first to discover the nest of the most perfectly blue eggs in our birdhouse. I think I see a unit study about animals in her future.

I have been quite reflective on friendships lately. What defines them, what drives them, what is their purpose? I have some ideas that have been planted in my heart lately on how to serve some others. I haven't had this happen in a while and it is joyous to me to know that He needs me outside my own home again.

I am starting my new bible study on the "Forgotten God" which is a study on the Holy Spirit. I used to grapple with the question of if "I" was always doing what God wanted me to do. Was "I" fully aware of my sins, fully aware of my weaknesses, was "I" giving God all the glory in every thing that I did. Was "I" living a life that was completely and totaling focused on Him. I came to the conclusion that all that was really needed was an open and willing heart. God plants these questions in our hearts to open up our eyes and hearts to the possibilities and it is then that the Holy Spirit begins to work it out in our lives. We just have to step out of the way and allow Him to work it through us. I am also beginning to see that there is no exact way, step by step process, no A-Z method, that "I" accomplish it; it just happens. A heart transformed, more willing to be His is all it takes.

Maybe she does care

A little conversation with Sadie at bedtime revealed a little worry, a little concern, and a little discontent with herself. She is the master at appearing all together to the world. Even when she makes poor decisions, she quickly brushes it off. She doesn't dwell on her mistakes, often sweeping them under her bed like discarded candy wrappers. Not where she should put them, or how she should deal with them, but it is much easier to push them to place that takes little effort.

I cannot recall a single conversation with her that shed even the faintest ray of light on how she perceives her choices and actions. With all of the difficult behavior and impulsivity, there have been many times when I have believed that Sadie was completely and totally apathetic. I can even remember when she was 3 and 4 wondering if this child could discern right from wrong and more importantly...did she care?  Where was her moral compass?

Tonight, I saw a different view. It made me sad. She was comparing herself to her classmates in several areas. Some not so important - handwriting and neatness. Then she came to a particular girl who excels in several areas. I could hear the hint of jealousy in her words. Then she turned the conversation to herself. She said, "I wish I could start my life over again. I wish I could change. I wish I weren't the yellow light girl."

There. She said it. It does bother her. Yellow lights are what they receive for poor behavior. Much like a traffic light system, yellow is a warning light to slow down.

It shows me three things. 1) Sadie is more aware of her own successes and failures and wants to do well, clearly better than she has been doing and 2) That I need to do a better job of pointing out her strengths and her positives. I need to show her a bit more love during the difficult behavior days. And 3) she needs to know who and how God defines her to be.

It gives me more motivation for the homeschool year that is in the making. A year to teach to her heart.

When the Moon Hits Your Eye

LOVE SICK. That is what my kids are and I have no idea from where it originates. My first reaction, which is erroneous I know, is to lock them away in their rooms and never allow them to utter another word about the opposite sex until they are 18.

How are they like this? I could say my kids are overflowing with love for others because we shower them with so much love that they are bursting forth with adoration. They cannot contain themselves and throw themselves onto all that cross their paths in hopes of surviving a love explosion. Sadly, I know my own short-comings.

Case #1: Child, age 5
Previously mentioned in this post, Lily is still in love with "little C" in her class. The shortest and possibly smallest boy in kindergarten. I understand from the teachers that all the girls mother him. Lily set her eyes on him on the first day and declared her unrestrained love for him the next. She is all set out to marry him and it doesn't seem to phase her one bit that she is 5. As she told me, "He is chubby, has a flat head...and I just love him." Yes, I just about lost control of the vehicle I was driving with that declaration. Is that really her standard? Girth and head shape?

The latest news is that another girl, told her that she, not Lily, was going to marry the little boy. I asked Lily how the girl knew this. Lily replied that the little boy hugged the little girl on the playground. Honestly, Lily seemed quite unphased by this turn of events, still believing that little C's heart is hers and hers alone. She announced to a teacher assistant, ""I am going to marry him so that I can kiss him all the time, whenever I want."

Last week, Lily announced to me that she got into a fight on the playground. Say what? A fight at 5? Insane! Evidently a girl from another class is also quite smitten with this boy. The two girls squared off on the playground and attempted to figure out a challenge. Unfortunately, Lily said, they couldn't think of one. Therefore, Little C just chose her.

Finally, I was witness to the following dramatic scene: We were playing on the playground after school. The afterschool care kids came out to the playground while we were still there. I was rounding up the kids as we aren't allowed to hang out there when they come to the playground. Lily realized it was the afterschool group and ran to find Little C who, by now, was sliding down the slide. Lily squealed, "Little C!" and ran over to give him a hug. About that time, I heard the word, "Little C!!" called out in a not so nice way. I looked up from the hugging couple and saw a look that would kill on what I assume is Lily's nemesis' face. She was a woman scorned. As Lily walked away from Little C, Lily told me that she was the "girl who I got in a fight with on the playground." I watched Little C, head hanging low, slowly walk to the girl who, towering over him, put her arm around him in the most possessive way. Thankfully, Lily did not see this.

Case #2: Child, age 8

Sadie has had a little connection with a boy in her class for a while now. Actually, it began last year when the two were paired for some dance in a special event day at her school. The story, like most of Sadie's stories, is somewhat vague, evolving and ever-changing on who made the first move. The beginnings of this relationship (if you can call it that) supposedly began with a verbal confessional on the part of the boy. Amazingly this boy has to be the sweetest, most well-mannered, quiet boy I know. They say opposites attract, right? Throughout the school year, there have been ebbs and flows of adoration. I checked in with the boy's mother during the class Christmas party. Her thoughts were about the same as mine: sweet, yet a very perplexing. The mom said that one day her son came home and announced the he and Sadie were over. The reason? Because she was just too bossy. Evidently they made up a couple of days later.

Case #3: Child, age 9

Sometime during the month of January, Ethan and I had one of those deep talks at bedtime. He initiated the conversation, saying he wanted to talk to me about something. I was completely not prepared for the next statement: "Mom, I just feel like I need to be a relationship." Stunned, not moving...catatonic for a few moments I was. I snapped upright as a thousand thoughts came rushing through my brain like, "You need to be more focused at school. You need to be able to locate your gray jacket that has been lost for 2 weeks. You need to remember that you have weekend homework on Friday, not on Sunday night when I tell you it is time for bed. The last thing you need is to have your mind consumed by this!" BUT, I refrained and simply muttered a calm, "Uh-huh. And, how did you arrive at this conclusion at age 9?" The verbal spewing began as he spun tales of unrequited love with a girl in his class. The pained look on his face told me that this was something he had been thinking about for quite a while. Now, he was at a crossroads...to tell or not to tell this little girl of his affections. The problem, however, is that the girl is already "taken."

Frankly, all I could think about was how to shut this entire pre-pubescent train down. NOW! This was way too much all too soon. I brought this craziness up to another swim mom and Ethan's swim coach. As I was telling them what had transpired, Ethan, who had been in the locker room changing into his bathing suit, walked by - dropping his socks along the way and neglecting to pick them up. "See!" I hissed. "He can't even keep up with his socks, he has no business thinking about relationships!" His ever-so-wise 23 year-old coach replied, "Kelsey, when he is 25 he still won't be able to keep up with his socks. He is a man. You can't tell him to stop. It is natural what he is feeling." Point well made. I still don't like it. Not one bit.

Jay wasn't much help either. He wanted to spur this crush on by, "creating a plan of courtship." What are we? 1850? I think what he really meant was that he wants to teach Ethan how to at least talk to girls, how to treat them, how to get to know them. At least Jay agreed that Ethan didn't need to be in a relationship at this age, but also doesn't want Ethan at age 16 unable to utter a single word to a member of the opposite sex. I can go with that. Maybe.

People of the world wide web...I beg for advice from any that might stumble upon this post. I have no idea how to handle these situations. I mean, this wasn't supposed to happen until junior high, right?

Oh, Sadie.

Tough day for my gal. Completely out of sorts and claims she is completely fine with that news about swim changes in my previous post. After a very, very difficult day at school, I had the pleasure of telling her I found her little piece of artwork in the basement. She decided my lampshade would look a little better with 5 red dots in row, courtesy of a bingo marker. Restitution was ordered up. What a lovely job she did folding three loads of laundry. Why do I not make the kids do this all the time? So nice to have that crossed off my to do list. There will be many, many laundry piles in her future. A new lampshade is not cheap.

While she was folding the laundry and I was fixing some hot tea, she said, out of the blue with so much confidence, "You know, Mom? I just have this feeling that I am going to be on America's Got Talent." She said it like there was no doubt in her mind that her fate rests with this television show. I dared not ask what her talent was going to be. Fear must have forced me there. Inwardly, it gave me a good chuckle.

Any good guesses out there on what kind of talent it might be?