"Yellow and green are a hit, Mom." Sadie says to me this morning. I commented that her tied-dyed lime green shorts may not be the perfect match to her bright yellow Toby Mac t-shirt with black and pink logo. Does it matter for me to say something? No.

The winds of change

Disaster. This is how I can sum up the past few days. It has come in varying forms, too. From the visual to the emotional. What I see in my community is mirroring an entirely different set of circumstances that nearly cracks my heart wide open and raw. All of it incomprehensible. All of it coming from our Father.

Tornados hit my medium-sized southern town Sunday night. The devastation is incredible. It began less than a mile from our house and continued on a northeasterly pattern, destroying the neighborhoods surrounding our church. A whole house...completely gone, only a few boards remaining on the ground. Trees down everywhere, buses strewn about like matchbox cars, an oriental rug slung into a tree, a bathtub thrown outside of a house while a picture in the next room remains on the wall untouched, a single fence board impaled the side of a house, whole roofs completely torn off. The raw power is hard to comprehend. We were spared. We are grateful.

Another set of circumstances has me on my knees in prayer. Like those in our town who have had disintegration thrown in their faces, a few in my circle are facing an emotional turmoil of their own. A symbolic tornado has swept them up, tossed them around and destroyed any stability and security they had. Unfortunately for them this is not a clear case of force majeure; someone can be blamed. More times than I can count this has been their journey and there is nothing about it that is fair. This was never what was supposed to happen. I am scared for them. I am worried for them. There is nothing I can do. This is God's journey for them.

How do you reconcile these "acts of God?" I know that it turns many away from Him as they see Him as cruel, harsh, and unloving. Many like to subdue the emotions by saying, "He allows it" stopping short at saying, "He causes it." But when you understand the sovereignty of God, that everything must pass through his fingers before it arrives on earth, then you understand it is only from Him.

I can't use this small post to try to tackle this topic. It is too great and vast, potentially argumentative and explosive. Some things are just believed out of faith. God says we will not understand His ways because they are not our ways. And though we can't see it now, I know that all things work together for His good. In the end, He will be glorified.  I have to believe that. I must.

The birds and bees

I am in the midst of some serious emotional gunk/turmoil (post in composition mode), and market cleaning (yes, you will hear about this for another week or so), but couldn't let THIS one pass me by. Such a classic.


For those that have been reading my little corner of the blogging world for a while know that "Time for bed" is translated in Ethan's mind to "Time for deep conversations with Mom." Thus follows tonight's very brief conversation:

Ethan: Mom, I have one of those questions for you.

Me: Ok, let's sit down on the sofa.

Ethan: So, how does sex actually start.

Me: Ummm. Ummm. Well, why are you asking that? Did someone say something at school?

Note: I have learned that often something has been said that produces such questions and if I ask what precipitated the question then I can usually come up with a satisfactory answer without giving too much away.

Ethan: No. I have just been thinking.

Me: Well, you know it is between a husband and wife, who are married and well, I guess it begins with kissing. Not that kissing always leads to that. Ummm. Well. (Clearly stalling as I have no idea what the appropriate response is)

Ethan: But is sex just for making babies? Wait, no, ...does that mean...(I can see the wheels turning in his mind)...Do you and Daddy still have sex?

Me: JJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

I am so not ready for this.

Once again...

Once again, it is time for the great market clean-out for 2010.  It is all great when it is done, but getting there is tough.  Man, the things I find in the kids' rooms!  More blog fodder than I will ever have time to write.  I will, however, create some lists.  To begin with...

1) Bingo dabber in Ethan's room.  Now, this is usually kept in the basement.  I know for a fact that Ethan did not bring this upstairs.  Sadie did.  How it ended up in his nightstand drawer?  I do not know. 

2) Found!  My WOW 2010 hits CD.  Both of them. 

3) Two science cups, dirty with who-knows-what.

As I am cleaning out Ethan's room, it is clear that he is hitting the early teenage years.  His tenth birthday is just a couple of months away and his room is starting to show this change.  Gone are the shelves of toys in his closet.  In their place are baseball hats, car kits, and shoes.  Sad.  We hung a world poster and a poster of Michael Jordan from the Carolina years on his walls.  Just another step in his maturation I suppose.

I shudder at my next cleaning adventure...Sadie's room.  If you don't hear from me by Friday, send a search party!

Ummm, what do you want?

Because every once in a while I revert to a being a teenager with no sense of decorum and complete immarturity, I document this line spoken by my sweet little Lily, age5, who had just finished up her bowl of popcorn.

"MOOOOMMMMM, I want some more cockporn, please."

I just looked at her innocent face and left the room to howl.  At least she used her manners.  I hope I don't start getting a million hits from complete sleezebags because I wrote that word on my blog. 

Restored

As a belated birthday gift, I took my grandmother to the O'Henry Hotel in Greensboro for their afternoon tea service. It is just my grandmother's sort of thing and well; I really like it, too. I invited my only aunt, Sue, to join us because I thought it would just be fun to have three generations of my family there. We never get together, just the three of us.


I sat listening to my grandmother reminisce over a time when she and my grandfather had tea every afternoon when they were on an anniversary trip to the Greenbrier Hotel. Afternoon tea and my grandfather really don't belong in the same sentence, but my grandmother said he sat there, participating like it was something he had done his entire life. I have no doubt he hammed it up with a little pinky lift, too. The thought makes me smile.

I took a moment to soak in the picture before me. My grandmother, my aunt and I. How God has worked in each of our lives. You see, this isn't an event I would have thought a likely scenario say 15 years or so ago. And, as recently as this summer, I figured that most of my memories with my grandmother were already made.

Life has a funny way of putting distance between family. Actually, it isn't life and it isn't funny. Specifically with my relationship with my aunt, I am not sure why the relationship wasn't always on solid ground during the earlier part of my life. Different life phases, careers, school, interests? Misinterpreted statements, misconstrued circumstances. We never really had a bond or connection. I don't know that I will ever get my finger pinpointed on it. However, like a testimony, life before Christ should never be the focus...it is the incredible transformation of life with Christ - you know, the good stuff, that really matters.

I can say without a hesitation that I love my aunt. Sure, it was always there is some form, maybe only because she was family. But, God has worked what can only be described as a miracle in both of our lives in the latter parts of our years. Perspectives have changed; worldly matters that consumed us have been taken away and the loss of my precious sister have factored into it.  In place of these things, I believe a softness and compassion for God now resides which trickles down to how we view each other. I have been given a chance to see and experience her heart and I praise God for that. She is one of the most incredible women I know. Smart, funny, thoughtful and compassionate - she has so many incredible qualities that I never knew. Maybe they were always there, but as I grow in my walk with Christ, I see them. They are shining. I am amazed at how God has so quickly and without any hubbub or therapy fully restored this relationship as if it has always been. I am a teensy sad I didn't have all of this earlier, however I am more thrilled to have it for the rest of my life.

It shouldn't go without mentioning that she is a master gardener - the absolute coolest garden I have ever had the pleasure of visiting - cool, funky garden houses, a green house made of old windows, hideaway seating areas, nooks and crannies that keep you poking around for days. To top it all off, she and my uncle are organic farmers, grow a vineyard, have chickens and the two largest, and possibly the most spoiled goats of all time. Years of managing a furniture store have also given her incredible design skills and an eye for the unusually whimsical. I can't even begin to describe her unconventional, yet totally hip house. What more could you wish for in an aunt?

Regarding my grandmother, I have missed quite a few years with her as well. This occurred most recently as she was the primary caregiver for my grandfather during his 10-year run with Alzheimer's. I never held any grudges - of course not. I just missed having her as a constant in my life. During this time, I always knew she had some misgivings about not really knowing my children and about missing out on the important events in our lives. But, it was what life had dealt her and her dedication to my grandfather was beyond admirable. It was a perfect picture of what God asks of us when we say our wedding vows.

After my grandfather passed away in August, I wondered how my grandmother would pick herself up and start living again. Inwardly, I wondered if she wouldn't quickly pass of a heart, broken and grief-stricken. After all, she was married to my grandfather for 67 years. Yet, she has managed to not only move forward, but to have moments of true enjoyment. I hope that our excursion to tea was one of them. I think it was as she savored each morsel of goodies presented to us over a two hour period and said no less than 7 times how wonderful it was to be together.

With a heart bursting with gratitude, I couldn’t agree more.

A little video

This is my favorite verse which gave inspriation to my blog title.  There is a song following the scripture reading, a little dated, but still nice.  Enjoy!