As a belated birthday gift, I took my grandmother to the O'Henry Hotel in Greensboro for their afternoon tea service. It is just my grandmother's sort of thing and well; I really like it, too. I invited my only aunt, Sue, to join us because I thought it would just be fun to have three generations of my family there. We never get together, just the three of us.
I sat listening to my grandmother reminisce over a time when she and my grandfather had tea every afternoon when they were on an anniversary trip to the Greenbrier Hotel. Afternoon tea and my grandfather really don't belong in the same sentence, but my grandmother said he sat there, participating like it was something he had done his entire life. I have no doubt he hammed it up with a little pinky lift, too. The thought makes me smile.
I took a moment to soak in the picture before me. My grandmother, my aunt and I. How God has worked in each of our lives. You see, this isn't an event I would have thought a likely scenario say 15 years or so ago. And, as recently as this summer, I figured that most of my memories with my grandmother were already made.
Life has a funny way of putting distance between family. Actually, it isn't life and it isn't funny. Specifically with my relationship with my aunt, I am not sure why the relationship wasn't always on solid ground during the earlier part of my life. Different life phases, careers, school, interests? Misinterpreted statements, misconstrued circumstances. We never really had a bond or connection. I don't know that I will ever get my finger pinpointed on it. However, like a testimony, life before Christ should never be the focus...it is the incredible transformation of life with Christ - you know, the good stuff, that really matters.
I can say without a hesitation that I love my aunt. Sure, it was always there is some form, maybe only because she was family. But, God has worked what can only be described as a miracle in both of our lives in the latter parts of our years. Perspectives have changed; worldly matters that consumed us have been taken away and the loss of my precious sister have factored into it. In place of these things, I believe a softness and compassion for God now resides which trickles down to how we view each other. I have been given a chance to see and experience her heart and I praise God for that. She is one of the most incredible women I know. Smart, funny, thoughtful and compassionate - she has so many incredible qualities that I never knew. Maybe they were always there, but as I grow in my walk with Christ, I see them. They are shining. I am amazed at how God has so quickly and without any hubbub or therapy fully restored this relationship as if it has always been. I am a teensy sad I didn't have all of this earlier, however I am more thrilled to have it for the rest of my life.
It shouldn't go without mentioning that she is a master gardener - the absolute coolest garden I have ever had the pleasure of visiting - cool, funky garden houses, a green house made of old windows, hideaway seating areas, nooks and crannies that keep you poking around for days. To top it all off, she and my uncle are organic farmers, grow a vineyard, have chickens and the two largest, and possibly the most spoiled goats of all time. Years of managing a furniture store have also given her incredible design skills and an eye for the unusually whimsical. I can't even begin to describe her unconventional, yet totally hip house. What more could you wish for in an aunt?
Regarding my grandmother, I have missed quite a few years with her as well. This occurred most recently as she was the primary caregiver for my grandfather during his 10-year run with Alzheimer's. I never held any grudges - of course not. I just missed having her as a constant in my life. During this time, I always knew she had some misgivings about not really knowing my children and about missing out on the important events in our lives. But, it was what life had dealt her and her dedication to my grandfather was beyond admirable. It was a perfect picture of what God asks of us when we say our wedding vows.
After my grandfather passed away in August, I wondered how my grandmother would pick herself up and start living again. Inwardly, I wondered if she wouldn't quickly pass of a heart, broken and grief-stricken. After all, she was married to my grandfather for 67 years. Yet, she has managed to not only move forward, but to have moments of true enjoyment. I hope that our excursion to tea was one of them. I think it was as she savored each morsel of goodies presented to us over a two hour period and said no less than 7 times how wonderful it was to be together.
With a heart bursting with gratitude, I couldn’t agree more.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A little video
This is my favorite verse which gave inspriation to my blog title. There is a song following the scripture reading, a little dated, but still nice. Enjoy!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
It is Ada Lovelace Day! I almost let this significant celebratory day pass by me without a mention. What is Ada Lovelace Day, you ask?
Augusta Ada King, Countess of Lovelace was born on 10th December 1815, the only child of Lord Byron and his wife, Annabella. Born Augusta Ada Byron, but now known simply as Ada Lovelace, she wrote the world’s first computer programmes for the Analytical Engine, a general-purpose machine that Charles Babbage had invented.
Ada had been taught mathematics from a very young age by her mother and met Babbage in 1833. Ten years later she translated Luigi Menabrea’s memoir on Babbage’s Analytical Engine, appending notes that included a method for calculating Bernoulli numbers with the machine – the first computer programme. The calculations were never carried out, as the machine was never built. She also wrote the very first description of a computer and of software.
Understanding that computers could do a lot more than just crunch numbers, Ada suggested that the Analytical Engine “might compose elaborate and scientific pieces of music of any degree of complexity or extent.” She never had the chance to fully explore the possibilities of either Babbage’s inventions or her own understanding of computing. She died, aged only 36, on 27th November 1852, of cancer and bloodletting by her physicians.
Ada Lovelace Day is an international day of blogging to celebrate the achievements of women in technology and science. The first Ada Lovelace Day was held on 24th march 2009 and was a huge success. It attracted nearly 2000 signatories to the pledge and 2000 more people who signed up on Facebook. Over 1200 people added their post URL to the Ada Lovelace Day 2009 mash-up. The day itself was covered by BBC News Channel, BBC.co.uk, Radio 5 Live, The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Metro, Computer Weekly, and VNUnet, as well as hundreds of blogs worldwide.
OK, so maybe it isn't an earth shattering event, but for the sake of my friends who are working in fields that I have never understood or been inclined to understand, I pay homage to it. I honor the women in my circle who have contributed to the fields of science and technology.
My Ada Lovelace Hat goes off to two of my college roommates, both of whom went on to receive doctorates in developmental biology and chemistry, respectively. Way to go - Katie and Kelly! Glad you have decided to still remain friends with your liberal arts lovin', Bachelor's of Arts only roomie!
Augusta Ada King, Countess of Lovelace was born on 10th December 1815, the only child of Lord Byron and his wife, Annabella. Born Augusta Ada Byron, but now known simply as Ada Lovelace, she wrote the world’s first computer programmes for the Analytical Engine, a general-purpose machine that Charles Babbage had invented.
Ada had been taught mathematics from a very young age by her mother and met Babbage in 1833. Ten years later she translated Luigi Menabrea’s memoir on Babbage’s Analytical Engine, appending notes that included a method for calculating Bernoulli numbers with the machine – the first computer programme. The calculations were never carried out, as the machine was never built. She also wrote the very first description of a computer and of software.
Understanding that computers could do a lot more than just crunch numbers, Ada suggested that the Analytical Engine “might compose elaborate and scientific pieces of music of any degree of complexity or extent.” She never had the chance to fully explore the possibilities of either Babbage’s inventions or her own understanding of computing. She died, aged only 36, on 27th November 1852, of cancer and bloodletting by her physicians.
Ada Lovelace Day is an international day of blogging to celebrate the achievements of women in technology and science. The first Ada Lovelace Day was held on 24th march 2009 and was a huge success. It attracted nearly 2000 signatories to the pledge and 2000 more people who signed up on Facebook. Over 1200 people added their post URL to the Ada Lovelace Day 2009 mash-up. The day itself was covered by BBC News Channel, BBC.co.uk, Radio 5 Live, The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Metro, Computer Weekly, and VNUnet, as well as hundreds of blogs worldwide.
OK, so maybe it isn't an earth shattering event, but for the sake of my friends who are working in fields that I have never understood or been inclined to understand, I pay homage to it. I honor the women in my circle who have contributed to the fields of science and technology.
My Ada Lovelace Hat goes off to two of my college roommates, both of whom went on to receive doctorates in developmental biology and chemistry, respectively. Way to go - Katie and Kelly! Glad you have decided to still remain friends with your liberal arts lovin', Bachelor's of Arts only roomie!
Motives
Yesterday, my son nailed me. I know God speaks through all kinds of ways, but it is particularly stunning when he does it through a child...your child.
Ethan has been cycling into a space cadet zone lately. We have been here before and it can be very frustrating. Last week was not a stellar week in terms of grades and I could tell that if we didn't clamp down a bit things would spiral. The culmination of which came Sunday night when it took Ethan 3 hours to do his homework, all the whilst moving to three different rooms, being called multiple times to get back to the table to complete it. To top it off, when Jay checked it over, many problems were wrong or half completed. Jay and I ordered up no electronics this week to help him stay focused on his tasks.
I picked Ethan up at school. I asked his teacher how the day went. I rarely ask his teacher anything about his day because Ethan is a reliably good kid. His teacher responded that he had had a much better day than last week. I chimed in that we were not thrilled at his grades and thus, we had removed electronics for him this week.
I really didn't think too much about what I had just said as we walked away. I looked back to make sure all three kids were with me as we made our way to the car. Ethan had that look on his face, the look of trying to control his tears. As we left the crowds of kids and parents, Ethan made his feelings known. Really, Ethan was angry. I don't think he has ever been this angry with me. I was a little stunned.
This is what he said, “Mom, why did you tell Mr. B that? You really just said it to look like you are good parent and are doing what you are supposed to do. Did you really have to tell him that? What was the point?”
Ouch. Yeah, what was the point? I spent the next day really thinking about that. He was right. There was no point. It was only to show Mr. B that "we were handling things" at home. You know, I am that "on top of it all" mom, the "totally in control" and "we are going to get to the bottom of this" mom. I confessed my sinful pride to Ethan tonight and asked for his forgiveness. As usual, he started gushing accolades on my parenting. I so love him.
It seems I am very far behind on this journey of destroying the idols of pride and self. I mean, I have recognized this for several years - my actions have the wrong motives, etc. Yet, here I am struggling with it, again. Has everyone else worked through this? Sometimes it certainly feels that way.
Ethan has been cycling into a space cadet zone lately. We have been here before and it can be very frustrating. Last week was not a stellar week in terms of grades and I could tell that if we didn't clamp down a bit things would spiral. The culmination of which came Sunday night when it took Ethan 3 hours to do his homework, all the whilst moving to three different rooms, being called multiple times to get back to the table to complete it. To top it off, when Jay checked it over, many problems were wrong or half completed. Jay and I ordered up no electronics this week to help him stay focused on his tasks.
I picked Ethan up at school. I asked his teacher how the day went. I rarely ask his teacher anything about his day because Ethan is a reliably good kid. His teacher responded that he had had a much better day than last week. I chimed in that we were not thrilled at his grades and thus, we had removed electronics for him this week.
I really didn't think too much about what I had just said as we walked away. I looked back to make sure all three kids were with me as we made our way to the car. Ethan had that look on his face, the look of trying to control his tears. As we left the crowds of kids and parents, Ethan made his feelings known. Really, Ethan was angry. I don't think he has ever been this angry with me. I was a little stunned.
This is what he said, “Mom, why did you tell Mr. B that? You really just said it to look like you are good parent and are doing what you are supposed to do. Did you really have to tell him that? What was the point?”
Ouch. Yeah, what was the point? I spent the next day really thinking about that. He was right. There was no point. It was only to show Mr. B that "we were handling things" at home. You know, I am that "on top of it all" mom, the "totally in control" and "we are going to get to the bottom of this" mom. I confessed my sinful pride to Ethan tonight and asked for his forgiveness. As usual, he started gushing accolades on my parenting. I so love him.
It seems I am very far behind on this journey of destroying the idols of pride and self. I mean, I have recognized this for several years - my actions have the wrong motives, etc. Yet, here I am struggling with it, again. Has everyone else worked through this? Sometimes it certainly feels that way.
Contract
I have been incredibly blessed with a bible study I have been doing since January. I wasn't initially going to do it, but God met me in a Wal-Mart parking lot (does that sound like a country song title, or what?) and it was just what I needed to do.
I think I have mentioned the study book, "No Other Gods" by Kelly Minter. If you want to peel back some layers, I say give it a go. If you want to stay cozy where you are, then don't. It wasn't that it was very deep in theology, but it spurred me to dig deep into some icky strongholds that needed clearing out. It also shed light on the truth behind my self-created idols, which are derived deep down out of fear, the fear of losing control. The irony? I don't have control to begin with! Finally, it reminded me that nothing, nothing, nothing is more sustaining, trustworthy and faithful than my God. Now that I am more aware of what has been taking up space in my heart and now that I have been prompted to replace them with more God, I pray that the Holy Spirit will strengthen me in this change.
A key component during this study was the group of ladies with whom I took this little journey. Praise God for the realness, the ability to be transparent, and the willingness to share failures and pain and to laugh, laugh, laugh at it all! And so, it is for these ladies that I add the following ridiculous, completely insane "contract" that I wrote for my kids around the end of the last school year. I was a woman who had completely lost her grip on the handle of life and here is how I reacted. Oh my - I am so glad my kids pretty much ignored me when I printed this little craziness out. I think a burning ceremony is in order - don't you think, ladies?
Well, funny. I have searched three computers and cannot find the document. I have a printed copy to show my kids how NOT to parent, but can't find the original. It reads like the "Go to Jail" card from Monopoly. You will behave exactly like this, you will not be human; you will be a robot. Any attempts to be a child will be quickly squelched and you will go directly to jail. Thank goodness I never actually enforced this insanity. Maybe that will spare me at least one payment for my kids' therapy down the road.
I think I have mentioned the study book, "No Other Gods" by Kelly Minter. If you want to peel back some layers, I say give it a go. If you want to stay cozy where you are, then don't. It wasn't that it was very deep in theology, but it spurred me to dig deep into some icky strongholds that needed clearing out. It also shed light on the truth behind my self-created idols, which are derived deep down out of fear, the fear of losing control. The irony? I don't have control to begin with! Finally, it reminded me that nothing, nothing, nothing is more sustaining, trustworthy and faithful than my God. Now that I am more aware of what has been taking up space in my heart and now that I have been prompted to replace them with more God, I pray that the Holy Spirit will strengthen me in this change.
A key component during this study was the group of ladies with whom I took this little journey. Praise God for the realness, the ability to be transparent, and the willingness to share failures and pain and to laugh, laugh, laugh at it all! And so, it is for these ladies that I add the following ridiculous, completely insane "contract" that I wrote for my kids around the end of the last school year. I was a woman who had completely lost her grip on the handle of life and here is how I reacted. Oh my - I am so glad my kids pretty much ignored me when I printed this little craziness out. I think a burning ceremony is in order - don't you think, ladies?
Well, funny. I have searched three computers and cannot find the document. I have a printed copy to show my kids how NOT to parent, but can't find the original. It reads like the "Go to Jail" card from Monopoly. You will behave exactly like this, you will not be human; you will be a robot. Any attempts to be a child will be quickly squelched and you will go directly to jail. Thank goodness I never actually enforced this insanity. Maybe that will spare me at least one payment for my kids' therapy down the road. Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Maybe she does care
A little conversation with Sadie at bedtime revealed a little worry, a little concern, and a little discontent with herself. She is the master at appearing all together to the world. Even when she makes poor decisions, she quickly brushes it off. She doesn't dwell on her mistakes, often sweeping them under her bed like discarded candy wrappers. Not where she should put them, or how she should deal with them, but it is much easier to push them to place that takes little effort.
I cannot recall a single conversation with her that shed even the faintest ray of light on how she perceives her choices and actions. With all of the difficult behavior and impulsivity, there have been many times when I have believed that Sadie was completely and totally apathetic. I can even remember when she was 3 and 4 wondering if this child could discern right from wrong and more importantly...did she care? Where was her moral compass?
Tonight, I saw a different view. It made me sad. She was comparing herself to her classmates in several areas. Some not so important - handwriting and neatness. Then she came to a particular girl who excels in several areas. I could hear the hint of jealousy in her words. Then she turned the conversation to herself. She said, "I wish I could start my life over again. I wish I could change. I wish I weren't the yellow light girl."
There. She said it. It does bother her. Yellow lights are what they receive for poor behavior. Much like a traffic light system, yellow is a warning light to slow down.
It shows me three things. 1) Sadie is more aware of her own successes and failures and wants to do well, clearly better than she has been doing and 2) That I need to do a better job of pointing out her strengths and her positives. I need to show her a bit more love during the difficult behavior days. And 3) she needs to know who and how God defines her to be.
It gives me more motivation for the homeschool year that is in the making. A year to teach to her heart.
I cannot recall a single conversation with her that shed even the faintest ray of light on how she perceives her choices and actions. With all of the difficult behavior and impulsivity, there have been many times when I have believed that Sadie was completely and totally apathetic. I can even remember when she was 3 and 4 wondering if this child could discern right from wrong and more importantly...did she care? Where was her moral compass?
Tonight, I saw a different view. It made me sad. She was comparing herself to her classmates in several areas. Some not so important - handwriting and neatness. Then she came to a particular girl who excels in several areas. I could hear the hint of jealousy in her words. Then she turned the conversation to herself. She said, "I wish I could start my life over again. I wish I could change. I wish I weren't the yellow light girl."
There. She said it. It does bother her. Yellow lights are what they receive for poor behavior. Much like a traffic light system, yellow is a warning light to slow down.
It shows me three things. 1) Sadie is more aware of her own successes and failures and wants to do well, clearly better than she has been doing and 2) That I need to do a better job of pointing out her strengths and her positives. I need to show her a bit more love during the difficult behavior days. And 3) she needs to know who and how God defines her to be.
It gives me more motivation for the homeschool year that is in the making. A year to teach to her heart.
Just another week.
A forewarning...quite possibly the most borning post EVER. However, in the interest of documenting life, here it goes.
So, last week I started the Wii Active Fit 30-day challenge. I received the Active Fit as a Christmas gift and here it is mid-March. I just opened the box. I hate exercising. I dislike it so very much that I would do just about anything to push it off - even cleaning the toilets. Once I am done, I feel great, but that is never enough to overcome my initial disdain, no, make that repulsion for it. I am sure it is because I have not found an exercise niche that I enjoy. It has to exist, right? I really wish I were more motivated. I hope that I will see such a difference in my body shape and tone in 30 days that I will be encouraged to do another 30 days.
Ants. We have them. All over the place. I keep spraying, putting out traps outside the house. I am making one last attempt today to make a massive spray and traps outside the house and then I am calling the experts. Over it.
We took the kids to Hanging Rock this weekend. We are fortunate we didn't try this last year because Lily would have never made it. Overall, she did a great job. There were a bit of whining and complaining and “I have a headache” statements on the way up. I could see a bit of fear and concern in Jay's eyes that he was going to have to carry her on his shoulders. But, once we arrived at the base of Hanging Rock, the last push up, I encouraged her to count the steps which distracted her enough to hike quickly the rest of the trail. The way back to the car was pretty easy, and Lily only had to take a break two times. Sadie kept walking way ahead of our family and I believe she would have run the entire way if given the chance. She was joyfully in her element. At one point, however, we had to force her to walk in between me and Jay because she continued to walk out of our eyesight, despite warnings. She hated this forced positioning and therefore nearly ran up the back of my heels in protest. If Sadie isn't happy, she will try to make everyone else suffer along with her. Thankfully, it was shortly lived. Ethan enjoyed lagging back with me and chatting. He has such great conversation skills. Even Jay didn't get in hyper-freak-out mode too badly at the top of Hanging Rock which does not have guard rails and can be slightly stressful with small children. However, it was a beautiful day - perfectly 72 degrees and sunny. Our picnic lunch and ice cream at the Danbury gas station topped off a fabulous family event.
Our summer plans are finally coming together. The planning was a source of extreme stress for me and it had caused some ripples of discontent and strife in my marriage. However, I trusted God to iron out the details and He did. Actually, I had just reported my peace with the entire situation to my bible study group and then viola! God worked. We will visit Jay's family for a week and a half at the end of May and beginning of June. The kids will miss the last 2 days of school which are do-nothing days anyway. They will learn more going on this trip than they will during those two days - if nothing else, how to take their shoes on and off at record speed during airport security. We will take Jay's host parents with us. This trip should be a fantastic one because the kids are older (no one in diapers on a long 14 hour journey). We plan on taking them to many sightseeing locations instead of hanging around the house and taking walks as we have in the past. They are at the age to appreciate them. Jay's host parents who have never been overseas will be able to see where Jay grew up and meet more of his extended family. I am most relieved that I will not fly solo with three children under the age of 7 this time around. Finally, the adults outnumber the children. Although the details are a bit sketchy, the initial plan is to split time between the Netherlands and France. Really, I can't wait to go.
This little recap of our week would not be complete without the never ending cycle of work stress. But, who really wants to hear about that? Not me, I already have.
So, last week I started the Wii Active Fit 30-day challenge. I received the Active Fit as a Christmas gift and here it is mid-March. I just opened the box. I hate exercising. I dislike it so very much that I would do just about anything to push it off - even cleaning the toilets. Once I am done, I feel great, but that is never enough to overcome my initial disdain, no, make that repulsion for it. I am sure it is because I have not found an exercise niche that I enjoy. It has to exist, right? I really wish I were more motivated. I hope that I will see such a difference in my body shape and tone in 30 days that I will be encouraged to do another 30 days.
Ants. We have them. All over the place. I keep spraying, putting out traps outside the house. I am making one last attempt today to make a massive spray and traps outside the house and then I am calling the experts. Over it.
We took the kids to Hanging Rock this weekend. We are fortunate we didn't try this last year because Lily would have never made it. Overall, she did a great job. There were a bit of whining and complaining and “I have a headache” statements on the way up. I could see a bit of fear and concern in Jay's eyes that he was going to have to carry her on his shoulders. But, once we arrived at the base of Hanging Rock, the last push up, I encouraged her to count the steps which distracted her enough to hike quickly the rest of the trail. The way back to the car was pretty easy, and Lily only had to take a break two times. Sadie kept walking way ahead of our family and I believe she would have run the entire way if given the chance. She was joyfully in her element. At one point, however, we had to force her to walk in between me and Jay because she continued to walk out of our eyesight, despite warnings. She hated this forced positioning and therefore nearly ran up the back of my heels in protest. If Sadie isn't happy, she will try to make everyone else suffer along with her. Thankfully, it was shortly lived. Ethan enjoyed lagging back with me and chatting. He has such great conversation skills. Even Jay didn't get in hyper-freak-out mode too badly at the top of Hanging Rock which does not have guard rails and can be slightly stressful with small children. However, it was a beautiful day - perfectly 72 degrees and sunny. Our picnic lunch and ice cream at the Danbury gas station topped off a fabulous family event.
Our summer plans are finally coming together. The planning was a source of extreme stress for me and it had caused some ripples of discontent and strife in my marriage. However, I trusted God to iron out the details and He did. Actually, I had just reported my peace with the entire situation to my bible study group and then viola! God worked. We will visit Jay's family for a week and a half at the end of May and beginning of June. The kids will miss the last 2 days of school which are do-nothing days anyway. They will learn more going on this trip than they will during those two days - if nothing else, how to take their shoes on and off at record speed during airport security. We will take Jay's host parents with us. This trip should be a fantastic one because the kids are older (no one in diapers on a long 14 hour journey). We plan on taking them to many sightseeing locations instead of hanging around the house and taking walks as we have in the past. They are at the age to appreciate them. Jay's host parents who have never been overseas will be able to see where Jay grew up and meet more of his extended family. I am most relieved that I will not fly solo with three children under the age of 7 this time around. Finally, the adults outnumber the children. Although the details are a bit sketchy, the initial plan is to split time between the Netherlands and France. Really, I can't wait to go.
This little recap of our week would not be complete without the never ending cycle of work stress. But, who really wants to hear about that? Not me, I already have.
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