This is how life is rolling these days at the Dumoulin house...

Last week, I went to 7 doctors appointments. One for Ethan, one for Lily and 5, yes, 5 for me.

Ethan's appointment was to confirm no additional complications from a marathon viral infection that lastest 12 days, missing 6 days of school. This week he is finally recovering some of his energy he lost from a constant fever for that long. He has just stopped falling asleep mid-day, yet still has a random cough that produces gags.  He is slowly returning to normal.

Lily's appointment was in Greensboro with her pediatric opthamologist. She will have eye surgery sometime in the next month for her accomodating esotropia. Her very strong glasses are not fully correcting her vision issues, so they will cut the muscle to tighten it. This procedure is done at a day surgery center and lasts about 20 minutes. I believe there is some discomfort the first day or two and then a week of a bloody looking eye, reminiscient of the worst pink eye you have seen.  Poor Lily.

My situation was a little more complicated, but the results were very positive. I had an MRI and mammogram and an appointment with my OB-GYN all in the same day (3 appointments right there). Talk about being exposed, poked, and prodded. I felt just one step away from porn status, really. As usual with my situation, I am declaring war with my insurance company over the MRI which is recommended by every medical board with my life-time risk of breast cancer being over 20%. It is actually 26%, but when you get over 20% does it really matter? Regardless, they won't cover it, which means $1,400 out of pocket for me each and every time. Aren't they gems?

The remaining two appointments were because they found some area of concern on my MRI. This the third time this has happened. Their recommendation was to biopsy the area assisted by MRI. After the procedure I was sent for another mammogram to note the location of an injected clip. The clip is used to mark where they collected the tissue. All very heavy and all very irritating at the same time. Not too emotional this go around, but more like, why is this happening again? At what point will I not have any tissues left to take? My MRI tech was quite a "McDreamy" making it all very interesting to be sitting there with the front of my gown open, exposing one side. However, my doctor pretty much destroyed that enjoyment by squeezing my boob as if checking to see if the melon were ripe...right in front of him. To be more accurate, I should say squeezing like a peach, as she tried to control the bleeding of the biopsy entry point. Nothing says "hot" like having steri-strips and neosporin gooped on the side of you, while incoherently saying you are fine with a gigantic red mark on your forehead from laying face down on your stomach for 30-45 minutes. The bottom line and fantastic news is that the results were negative for anything cancerous. Now, I just need to decide how much it is worth to continue with these "recommended" tests.  I am also reconsidering genetic testing although that isn't fool-proof either.
Ethan is running for student council, thinking about a hip hop dance class and participating in Cotillion. For those not in the south, Cotillion is a class that teaches manners, etiquette, and basic dance skills. Ironically, we were 30 minutes late to the first class as I wrote the time down incorrectly. Who is late for a class on etiquette?  The Dumoulins. 

The hip hop dance thing is unsettling to me. I know I am being ridiculous, but sometimes I just live in the 19th century, ok? He even said he was ok with taking jazz or tap if he had to as he might "enjoy" that. Gosh, I hope he really wants to do this because he knows he can meet some girls. Either way, as this "interest" sinks in, we will play the waiting game on exploring our options.

We, meaning Ethan, resumed morning swim practices today. I am most thrilled to report that our gracious coach has delayed the start of practice by 15 minutes. Now, I only have to have Ethan at the Sports Center at 5:15 am instead of 5:00 am. Nice. Wake-up time is an easy 4:45...still considered to be the night before, not this morning by me. When I returned home at 8 am, I had taken Ethan to practice, worked-out (translation: walked on a treadmill for 30 minutes at 3.5), made a run to Wal-Mart (NO ONE is at Wal-Mart at 6:15 am), grabbed a cup of coffee at Chik-fil-a, picked Ethan back up and hauled him to school. Of course, he left his gym clothes in the car which meant another trip to the school. However, I thought my productivity prior to 8 am was pretty admirable considering I can easily sleep until 9:30 or 10 am on weekends. Deep down, could I be a morning person? No. It is all because I love my son. It is now 12:30 pm as I type this and I can hardly keep my eyes open. Did I say how much I love my son? By the way, it was a first for me to go into a Wal-Mart while it was dark, only to exit when it was getting light. I thought people only did that when they went to bars in Europe.

Lily has taken to shouting out random math problems throughout the day.  Yesterday afternoon, as she lounged on our oversized chair in the kitchen, she announced that 700 plus 600 equals 1300.  Cuddling up with me before bed, she did a borrowing subtraction problem with 3-digit numbers out loud, without paper. If you don't know what that is, I think it was something like 318-189=129.  She is nutso over math and I do not get it at all.

What other ridiculousness is going on our family, you ask? Well, homeschool, of course. How does one homeschool when at at doctor's office more than her own house? Well, she doesn't. Complete fail last week for the most part. Here's another eye opener...using the instructor's manual is actually a helpful thing when teaching math. Sometimes I wonder how my children know anything. For the first time in our brief homeschooling journey, I have given up on a curriculum choice for one of my girls. The bible course I used with Sadie during 3rd grade is just too difficult for Lily. Words like attributes, polytheism, and atheist are not ones Lily can retain. At. all. Time to do some research.  Today we had some success with two little experiments in science.  One was throwing marbles in bowls of flour to demonstrate how craters are made and the impact they have on a planet's surface.  The other was melting butter to pour over custard bowl which was covered in four.  This was to mimic a volcanic eruption.  The key part to this was that when the butter cools, it hardens up a bit like the lava does when it cools. 

I have found that here is little substitute for the retention of information than hands-on study and/or video enforcement.  To compliment our study of Australia, our family watched a great documentary about Australia Saturday morning.  The kids squawked a bit through it and I threatened to give them a pop quiz.  Afterall, I am the teacher.  I can do that sort of thing.  In the end though, we all learned a lot and each child could give me 2-3 different facts about Australia.  Netflix has become our greatest ally in this type of teaching. Once we complete our notebook section on Australia, they might be ready to go eat some vegemite!  Next up...AFRICA in our semester of World Geogrpahy!  I have about 6 movies in the queue.  That will probably send them over the edge. 

As I down my third cup of caffiene today, I wonder how I will get anything else done.  The projects just keep piling up and home maintenance keeps getting shoved farther and farther down the list.  My view is that if God wanted me to get them done, then He would give me the time.  Right?

There are times in your life, moments really, when you know what you are experiencing can only be the work of God. I am in one of those moments.  There have been four of these clear touches over the last two weeks.  It has left me stunned. 

I had been struggling with several situations over the past month or so.  I could not let the emotions of the situations go.  They circled my brain constantly and I allowed them to taint other relationships.  I allowed them to control me.  It made me angry and bitter. Angry because of how people were behaving and angry because I allowed it to impact me.  Bitter because their behavior was negatively impacting those I loved and bitter because I couldn't make it right.

My relationship with God has been rather lax over the past 4 years.  Sure, there have been moments of clarity, but largely murky and undefined.  My purposeful commitment, my focus, my drive were simply missing.  Someone told me that it takes fives years to "recover" from a traumatic life event.  I have experienced that, as I round into the 5th anniversary of my sister's passing.  I can recognize this same journey in another friend who is about 1-2 years behind me.

Over this past month, I was so mired and wrapped up in such mess that I could not think straight.  I could not release it.  At the bottom of the pit, I had a choice...to confront the issue head on which would have resulted nothing short of total disaster, permanently destroying relationships.  OR, I could turn it all over to God. 

It was late, late one night in August as I was trying to fall asleep. Future confrontational conversations were swirling and playing out in my head as it had for nearly a month.  I felt my shoulders tense, my head began to pound, my anger rose.  At that moment, I was utterly defeated.  I let out an audible sigh.  Then, I slowly and timidly slid my toe into the waters of forgiveness and restoration.  My conversation was brief, yet to the point. Take it all, God, take it all from me.... take the thoughts, the irritations and bitterness, and take my hurt.  Help me to forget this.  Help me to stop the negative feelings.  Remove it all.  I woke up several times during the night and prayed the same prayer.  Take it ALL.

From that time forward I have continued to receive confirmation that God is at work.  Little signs that may appear to be insignificant alone, but together you just know.  The timing of these moments are so perfect in their execution that they are the work of the perfecter of my faith.  The all-consuming thoughts have now been reduced to fleeting moments.  The time spent dwelling replaced with praise and prayers.  My vision to this journey is that I used to have a little piece of yarn running between God and me, thin and a little limp. Now, I have this thick cord, strong, full of lots of little cords all woven together. 

My gratitude has been so overwhelming that I nearly fell to my knees at one point.  Not only do I see the impact in my own heart, I see it in my family.  Sadie brought me her bible last night which she had marked in several places.  She wanted to discuss some of what she read.  The others have amped up their praying, though I have not prodded them.  My own focus has been in growing in Him, trusting Him. 

I am in awe.  I would even go so far as to say shocked.  I don't know why I am as He has never left me.  He has always been there.  My eyes were elsewhere so I did not see or feel His presence.  Lord, give me the strength to never let my eyes stray again.  Life is too good where I am now.

Where Was I?

I was seven months pregnant and had an early morning ob-gyn appointment.  I left the appointment and headed to my job as an Account Manager for a publication serving the home furnishings industry.  As I pulled into the parking lot, I remember distinctly, the radio dj announcing that a "small plane, like a cessna" had hit one of the World Trade Towers.  At that point, it appeared to be an errant plane and I was amazed that a building could withstand a plane hit and not collapse.  As I made my way to my cubicle, I noticed my colleagues crowded into my boss's office glued to the television, silent.  I walked in and was quickly given the update.  One large plane into one of the towers.  As we sat there, we watched the next plane fly into the other tower.  I remember being completely stunned. The pit in my stomach growing as each minute passed.  Watching the faces of those in NY, everyone trying to make sense of it all.  I remember being the only one who could actually access CNN online.  I don't know how or why, but I was.  Then, the plane hit the pentagon.  I recall telling this news to some colleagues on the floor below us.  Their reaction full of fear and disbelief.  I wondered if this meant we were at war and with whom.  I wondered what this meant for my 15 month old and my unborn daughter. The first tower fell and the inescapable moans and "oh no, no, nos" of those watching these events around that small television added to the tension and panic in the air. Out of our office windows, we watched plane after plane being diverted to our airport.  There was no work to do that day as everything in the world seemed insignificant to what was unfolding on the television.  Local news alerted us to heightened security around the large propane gas field directly across the street from our office complex.  We were told to go home. I am sure that I made phone calls to family and friends, glued to the television the rest of the day at home, but honestly, the rest of the day is lost.

Things I Find Fantastic

1. Fishing
2. Kettle Chips
3. Alone time with my family of five
4. Teaching History
5. Chicken Curry dish at Saffron India Restaurant
6. Researching chickens- as in raising them
7. Homemade French Toast with real french toast
8. Decorative edge paper punches
9. Duck Tape crafts
10. Foreign language films, particularly the run of Dutch ones Jay has played every night

Not Today.

I am hiding in my room.  Yes, hiding.  For the moment I cannot deal with my middle child, my stomping, slinging, irritated, grumpy, frustrated middle child.  All of this energetic display over...long division.  She knows how to do it, but just doesn't want to do it.  Can I blame her?  I hated it.  Yet, the workbook pages are there, empty, waiting.  Not only does she not want to do it, but she doesn't want to keep the problems "in line."  She wants to do it her way and wants to understand fully why she must keep it looking orderly.  I am not about to explain dividing decimals to her at this point.  She just doesn't like how it looks to have a remainder dangling out there in space, not above a line.  I just walked out of the room.  Not going to entertain her today.  Not going to give her an excuse as to why she is still at her desk after we have picked Ethan up from school.  Not going to argue or console or assist her to the point of doing the work for her.  Not going to do it today.  The burden is hers, not mine.  So, I hide.

Two Lessons from an Eleven Year Old

Having faith like a child. It has been more than that from my oldest. He has become the teacher. It has caused me to think deeply about many of my positions and statements. It has been humbling.
This year, the eldest has taken a vested interested, rather, determined to be friends with everyone in his class, from the quasi-bully to the meek to the semi-irritating. This is a trait he exhibited a bit last year. I have been highly supportive of this effort. That is, until he determined himself to be closely associated with the child that might be deemed "troubled." He began to tell me the story of how he realized this boy didn't have many friends and was seldom alone in class, the lunchroom, etc. I began questioning him if that were such the wise choice. I thought, "Oh no, the other boys will no longer want to be his friend. He will be assumed to be along the lines of this boy. He will lose his position in class." I began to question him to help him see the light. it was my job to help him navigate the tricky social waters of middle school. He need to make sure to rotate through all the boys, not lingering with this one too long. Then, my wise son said, "Mom, why do you not want me to sit with him? Isn't that the first place Jesus would sit? You know, Mom, this boy is actually really nice. I feel blessed to have been able to sit with him the past couple of days. He doesn't care about being popular, or being cool. He is real, Mom." I sat there with my head very low. He was right. He was doing what mattered. My position was completely and totally wrong. Lesson #1

The eldest is going through his first 12 week band rotation. All the kids were able to try out various instruments and then list their first and second choices down on paper. A few days later instruments were distributed much to the delight and dismay of their new owners (or rather renters as the school owns the instruments). My son proudly popped into the back seat of the car with...a trumpet. Thrilled at the prospect of the instrument that he had in his possession, he quickly undid the case, put the trumpet together and blared a half-way decent note in the car. Ouch to my ears, but he was clearly over the moon. Later that evening, his father learned of the trumpet. Unbeknownst to the rest of the family, Jay has always had a desire to blow a trumpet and learn to play. He had the eldest to bring the trumpet to him. Jay picked it up, took one big breath and...nothing. Over and over again Jay tried to create any sort of sound roughly related to the horn to come from the trumpet Nothing. Ethan patiently advised him, encouraged him, and cheered him on. Ethan held onto the sides of his mouth where air was escaping. Still, nothing. I found the entire situation rather amusing. I don't recall ever having seen Jay not be able to achieve something he wanted. My laughter was fairly continuous. Ethan, however, settled me down and continue to "work" with Jay. Seeing Ethan so patiently and encouragingly deal with Jay stopped me in my tracks. This is how God intends us to train our children. In the end, Ethan didn't ridicule his father for being such a failure at the instrument, but offered up that maybe Jay's lips were just too big and that one day he just knew he would do it. Lesson #2

End of School Year Review

School ended.  It ended nearly 2 months ago and I let it slip by with nary a mention.  Ideas for this blog come and go as I go about my days, but they don't find their way onto this screen.  My picture taking is down, my scrapbooking nonexistent, documentation of the little things is dwindling.

As I type this, I am sitting in the car heading home from our week at Ocracoke Island.  What a wonderful thing technology is that I have Internet access on a laptop in a moving car.  It certainly helps pass the time.

Ethan is now a middle schooler. Sixth grade looms ahead in the fall.  I remember those sticky middle school years and it makes me long for the next three tumultuous years to pass quickly.  He ended the year with an all A average. He had 2 Bs throughout the year, but they were both one point away from an A, so it wasn't too difficult to turn those into all As for the year. He had some pretty fantastic remarks from his teachers as well, so I feel good about where he is headed.  Stanford scores, once again, qualify him for the Duke Tip program in several areas. He begged to do Math Camp at school this summer...who am I to turn that down?  He still has some maturing to do in regards to goofiness and blabbering, but sometimes I think I am too hard on some naturally occurring irritations of an 11 year old boy.  He is still swimming and enjoying it, but I believe that the craziness of this activity has subsided.  This will be a nice addition to his high school transcript, but he is more likely to benefit from his academic gifts in the future, than he ever will in sports.

Sadie finished our first year of homeschool.  We struggled a bit in the end with completing work and our enthusiasm for learning. However, she learned what she needed and then some.  She showed strong gains overall in her Stanford Testing scores with the exception of Math.  It wasn't as high as last year, but still higher than her class average.  Reading was fantastic and Listening showed a tremendous gain.  Her scores qualify for the Duke Tip program in several areas, too.  I tribute that to the necessity of focusing on me, her teacher, at all times.  The environment of homeschool does not allow for daydreaming.  Although most school work comes easily for her, she just doesn't care about it.  I don't know if it is boredom, or lack of motivation, but rarely do I see Sadie "tackle" school work with keen focus on accuracy and completing her task to the best of her ability.  She would much prefer to be outside, collecting animals to care for and to learn about.  She dawdled about with swimming this year.  Some days she cared, some days she could have cared less.  Considering she probably put forth about 40% effort total for the year, she did all right.  One area in which I never had to prod her was with her piano and participation in the arts (drama and dance).  She practiced without any reminders and seemed always to enjoy being on stage.  I always wonder what Sadie could actually achieve in academics, sports, whatever, if she actually put forth what I see is her total potential.  I don't think this is something I can teach her, but is something she has to figure out herself.  However, I also believe that happiness and joy are always going to be more important to her than success.  Should I really complain about that?  Shouldn't we all be that way?

Lily finished her 1st grade year with very high marks, a perfect report card.  Considering she is one of the youngest in her class and that we were advised to consider holding her back in school, I am pleased.  I think the biggest shocker to me, however, were her Stanford scores.  Not only did she vastly improve her scores over last year, her reading lexile score was 900 (about a 6th grade level).  What a little sneaker!  She can act so incapable of everyday tasks sometimes that I think there might be an issue.  Now, I realize that she just likes to act like a baby.  She still has this amazing sense of imagination and ability at creative play.  She loves to do summer work and learn. In fact, she brought her summer workbook with her to a swim meet to pass the time. She is not necessarily the most coordinated child, so swimming is a good sport for her. It forces her to work on that aspect of her body.  Also, she can go at her own pace and I would venture to guess that we may still only have three legal strokes at the end of this year.  She, too, loved piano and any sort of musical activity she was involved in.  She received the "Friendliest" award this year for her class.  Her enthusiasm for new things never wavers and she is the first to bring along her friends who might not feel as confident.  Lily has no clue she might not be "good" at something, an attitude I hope remains for a very long time. 

It was a solidly successful year for the Dumoulins.  We are incredibly blessed to have been given these three precious gifts.

If you could understand the motives of my heart.
If you could understand the depth of my concern and love for you.
If you could understand that seeing your world start to crumble is nearly as painful for me as it is you. 
If you could understand that I am willing to damage and possibly sacrifice my relationship with you for you.
If you could understand that I was coming from a place of truth and true compassion and worry. 
If you could understand that I have been there. 
If you could understand that I know what you are running from. 
If you could understand that I know that most of your justifications help mask the hurts you have had.
If you could understand that the others in your life deserved more from you.
If you could understand that the commitment you made to others is more important than yourself.
If you could understand that.
You would understand why.

Love = service + sacrifice

First Days of School

We have rounded the corner into another school year.  Ethan took off yesterday as a middle schooler.  Jay took him to school for the first day without me.  It didn't help that Ethan announced that I was sometimes embarrassing with my photo taking. (gee, thanks, Ethan)  I am still wrapping my mind around his entry into middle school.  I remember those years full of social challenges and meandering foci.  My prayers is for him to be a tad more guided and focused as he navigates the hormone-infested waters that is the middle school pool.  This is the first year that he will change classes throughout the day, garnering a new set of classmates in each class.  In some ways this is a good thing in that issues going on throughout the day are not festered by being in the same environment.  However, he isn't around some of his friends for much of that day.  All in all, he seems very determined to have a banner year.

We began homeschool yesterday, although Sadie was sick.  I wasn't pushing too much with her, but went head-first with Lily. Lily was pretty enthusiastic, particularly with math.  She kept wanting to do more and more, asking when she would get to her times tables.  We still have to tackle subtraction with renaming before we get to that.  She is a girl who is constantly drilling in on patterns and sequences.  I love to see how her mind works as she discovers and creates these strings of order throughout her day whether in a store, nature, or her room.

Sadie had been running a fever for several days, but finally seemed to be coming out of it yesterday.  My kids are so rarely sick that on the rare times that they are, I am needlessly worded.  However, as the day wore on, she drifted into the bonus room and settled in to start some work...without being asked.  What a turn around from last year! I think having Lily at home is definitely going to be a huge encouragement.

Here is our plan for the first half of the year with the girls:

Sadie 4th Grade
Language - Abeka, Language A
Easy Grammer 5 for reinforcement and extra practice
Reading Comprehension - Jacob's Ladder- It is a very challenging program for gifted kids, so we are starting with 2nd-3rd grade level to get the swing of things. 
Writing - Daily 6 Trait Writing. 
Math - Singapore 4A, however I realized yesterday that we need to do about 2 weeks of 3A/3B review before moving to new material. 
Spelling - Spelling Workout, Level E
Geography - Around the World in 180 Days.  We will do an overview of World Geography for the first half of the year.  This is a great series because it offers several levels within the same book, meaning you can revisit it a couple years, drilling down deeper each time.
Science - Astronomy by Apologia. 
History - A Story of the World, Part 1.  We did this out of order last year, beginning with Part 4 which was a 4th - 8th grade level.  I am discovering that Part 1 will be a piece of cake for Sadie after doing Part 4. It is history through the last Roman Emperor.
Bible/Worldview - Who Am I?  by Apologia.  They have created a journal to go along with this series.  Can not wait to delve into it.

P.E.  Swimming 2x a week, Soccer
Arts:  Drama, Dance, Piano, Cake Decorating
Extras:  Lego Physics

Sadie has pretty decent handwriting, so I am not going to push her to do this every day.  It will probably be something I use as filler when we have a light day.  I also picked up some fun brain teaser books to break up the monotony of schedule.

Her goals for the year include:
1. Having a great attitude
2. Increasing accuracy in all her work.
3. All written work to completed in complete, grammatically correct sentences

She would also like to plan, shop for and cook an entire dinner this year. She is very excited about this.

Lily 2nd Grade

Language - Abeka, Language 2

Writing - Writing with Ease 2, which also serves as reading comprehension practice
Math - Singapore 2A, which I suspect she will fly through based on yesterday's work.
Spelling - Spelling Workout, Level C
Geography - Around the World in 180 Days.
Science - Astronomy by Apologia, in conjunction with Sadie
History - A Story of the World, Part 1.
Bible/Worldview - Who Is God? by Apologia.
Handwriting - Transitions

P.E.  Swimming 2x week, Soccer
Arts:  Piano, Dance, Music class
Extras:  Lego Physics, Marvels of Nature

Lily's handwriting and fine motor skills are pretty atrocious.  I am trying not to get too freaky about them, but know we have got to get serious about them.  She cannot tie her shoes yet, so obviously this is where we start to work.

Her goals this year include:
1. To become more independent
2. To learn to control her emotions
3. Read, read, read

I also want Lily to fix and clean-up breakfast for Sadie and Ethan, learn to ride her bike without training wheels, and tie her shoes (as mentioned above).

Here we go!

Homeschooling 2.0

A year ago, I embarked on a journey to unfamiliar territory.  I became a homeschooler.  I knew that it was the path chosen for me and my middle one, but the map was out of focus and the destination unknown.  I could only see Day 1, but not any farther.  Now, I type this entry heading into year 2.  I will homeschool my middle one again, but this year, I will add the youngest one into the mix.  Homeschooling 2.0 for 2.  More uncharted territory, but definitely not as overwhelming or daunting.

I enjoy answering questions about homeschooling.  Why do we do it?  How do we do it?  It is fun to talk about something that you are enthusiastic about and something you truly feel called to do.  I have had the privilege of guiding a couple of families who are new to homeschooling this year.  I pass the credit along to my mentor and great friend, Angela, who supported me throughout my first year.  I know her experiences and knowledge were a huge part of the success of this first year.  I feel I need to pay it forward as more families decide to join the adventure.  I have answered more than my share of phone calls this year of families just toying with the idea.  Often, I share the same information and thoughtt I could finally put it on paper, or screen, or blog, or post, or whatever.

Here is my "Top 5 Advantages to Homeschooling" list:

1.  FREEDOM.  I can't say this enough.  There is so much freedom in homeschooling.  Freedom to work at your own pace, freedom to experience hands-on learning, freedom to explore more areas of interest, freedom with scheduling.  When we were in a traditional school setting, the kids would be in school from 8 - 2:30.  We would leave school for an after school activity - swimming or piano or guitar or whatever.  We would head home, eat dinner, get homework/projects/tests done, get showers, get ready for the next day and then go to bed. I found the time to interact with my kids on a meaningful, impactful level to be in short supply.  Scheduling in shopping trips, hair cuts, doctor's visits, etc., just ate away at what little time I had. The time for them to just "be" was almost non-existent. 

2.  THE EXTRAS:  For the fact that our school day is usually over by 11:30 or noon, we can participate in more areas of interests  This year, my daughters will take the following courses with our local homeschool group, High Point Home Educators:  Dance, Drama, Music Maestros, Lego Physics, Marvels of Nature and Cake Decorating.  They go every Monday from noon - 4.  By the way, there are over 175 kids signed up for the various courses they are offering this year.  They put on a fantastic end of the semester program to showcase what they have learned. I would stack up Sadie's dance routine to "Fabulous" against any local dance studio.  It was simply, well, fabulous. We are also exploring the option of joining our local 4H club, which will be exploring Astronomy this fall.  The girls will take piano from 1-2 on Thursday this year, which meant we didn't have to fight for an after school spot. Sadie will take Latin on Thursday mornings during the lunch hour with my mom, a certified Latin teacher for 20 + years.  The girls will also swim two afternoons a week and possibly continue to participate in our local rec soccer league.  All the while, we aren't panicked about school work, projects, juggling school paperwork and they get to bed on time, by 8 or 8:30.

3.  COURSE CHOICES.  Anyone that has ever tinkered with the idea of homeschooling knows that the selection of textbooks and curriculum is overwhelming.  Actually, that is an understatement.  It is ridiculous.  If it weren't for books like Cathy Duffey's "Top 100 Picks for Homeschool Curriculum," navigating would be a nightmare.  Some books have the lesson scripted out word for word for the teacher, while some allow the instructor to have a free hand.  Some are project driven; some are workbook driven; some are all-inclusive, meaning you buy one set and they learn all their subjects around a chosen topic.  It is simply unlimited what you can do.  The North Carolina Home Educators' (over 45,000 students strong!) have a fantastic conference every year which includes a book fair. I spent 4 hours looking through books, materials, classroom guides, etc.AND, I had most of my subjects already picked out prior to going!  However, all these choices mean that you can customized your child's education to fit their learning style.  Here's a shocker, not everyone learned effectively by working through a textbook and workbook!  Last year, Sadie was all about birds.  I found a science textbook called, Exploring Creation with Zoology 1: Flying Creatures of the 5th Day by Apologia. Naturally, this is was what she looked forward to every day. It is a comprehensive look at birds, bats, insects and even the flying creatures of the dinosaur times.  It is jammed packed with true scientific experiments and a journal in which to record your notes, too. 

Sadie is chronologically a 4th grader.  However, she does 5th grade grammar and spelling, 4th-5th grade math, did a history course designed for 5th - 8th graders last year, and reads books on the latter middle school level, yet we still can and do choose books for her grade level, not ability, at times.  Some days we return to some basics when I think she is struggling. Other times we sail through some lessons because they are too elementary.  We don't have to spend a month on one particular topic when she catches on in a week. Customizing and flexible learning equates to effective learning.

4.  TIME.  I touched briefly on this in my first point, freedom.  I have time with my children - time to enjoy them, teach them life lessons, address discipline issues in a deliberate and calm manner.  I am not frantically shouting at my kids as we race to the next destination. Ok, who am I kidding?  That still happens sometimes.  I, too, am a work in progress.  This yea, Sadie learned how to cook eggs, make all sorts of baked goods (much to the chagrin of my waistline), and how to use most kitchen appliances.  She has time to complete chores, pack her bags for her classes, manage her own school schedule each day, train her dog, and explore nature (her passion).  I have time to immediately correct her work ethic (or lack thereof), improve her accuracy and attention to detail, teach goal setting and understanding the satisfaction when achieved.  There can be no slackness or laissez-faire attitude in our homeschool because it is one-on-one. You can't get away with anything, a positive for the child who has the propensity to be a little sneaky.

Continuing along this thread, I'll tackled the most common statement I hear from other parents.  "I could never homeschool my kids because....  (insert one of the following) 1. I need time away from children 2. We would kill each other 3.  I don't have enough patience  4. My child would never learn from me.  Not everyone is called in this season to homeschool.  However, everyone is able.  Trust me.  I would put Sadie Dumoulin against any strong-willed (spirited, tenacious, intelligent, curious, amazing) child and feel 99% sure she would come out the winner.  Kids like Sadie need more time with their parents.  They need more personal instruction and they need more love.  Sure, we butt heads and it has not all been smelling like roses, but the changes in her behavior and the growth in her maturity have been tenfold. I discovered that shuffling Sadie off to let someone else take care of the discipline problems for a while didn't solve anything.  It is my responsibility to teach and train her, not my local educational system.  The more I am around Sadie, the more I appreciate and am in awe of her.  That would have gone unrecognized and undiscovered had we continued down the path we were previously.

5.  LOVE OF LEARNING This is one of two general goals I set for our homeschool.  To instill the virtue of a thirst for knowledge will always benefit my children.  In my adulthood, I have forgotten how much fun it is to learn!  The history course Sadie took was better than any I took prior to college.  Amazing stuff. I learned more about birds than I thought I could.  I am now a "birder." For example, did you know that hummingbirds are the only birds that can fly backwards?  Pretty cool when you see them in action.  I also watched eaglets being born in Iowa on an internet camera.  Unbelievable.  I never want to be satisfied with my current state of knowledge again!  Hopefully, this year, my grammar and writing skills will be polished as I am reminded of the proper use of commas, semi-colons, dangling participles and the difference between "lay and lie" as I navigate through Sadie's 5th grade grammar course.

Lest anyone think that I am completely against traditional school, my eldest will return to our school of choice for his 6th grade year.  His education has been superb and he is very content there.  We decide everything on a year-to-year basis, even leaving open the option of putting one of ours back in mid-year.  We are flexible, just like our educational choices.

I didn't delve into our biblical teaching, but it is central to every school day in the Dumoulin house.  The hows, whys, and the impact of this type of targeted teaching really deserves it own post.

There you have it. My personal (meaning not everyone feels this way, nor do I think it should be adopted by everyone) thoughts on the benefits of homeschooling.

Interviewing the Kids

An interview with the kids on July 11, 2011:

ETHAN, AGE 11

1. What do you want to be when you grow up:  I want to be a preacher, but I don't know that it will happen. You just have to go with God's plan.

2. What is your favorite subject in school:  Bible

3.  What is your favorite food?  Burritos

4.  What do you enjoy doing?  Playing video games

5.  Where do you want to go on vacation?  The Caribbean

6.  What is your favorite color?  Blue

7, What is your favorite animal?  Armadillos (because they can roll themselves into a ball and roll around)

8.  What is one thing in the world that you could change? The mean attitudes in our family, so we could be all happy.

9.  What is your best feature? Compassion and giving (Dad helped with this one)

10.  What is your worst feature?  Being annoying


SADIE, AGE 9

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?  I don't know, yet.  Maybe a veterinarian, or animal psychologist

2. What is your favorite subject in school?  Science

3. What is your favorite food?  Eggs and bacon (breakfast).  Pineapple and Strawberries

4. What do you enjoy doing?  Going to Ocracoke and petting the feral cats. Exploring nature and playing with animals

5. Where do you want to go on vacation?  Hawaii

6. What is your favorite color?  Neon Lime green

7, What is your favorite animal?  Anything baby

8. What is one thing in the world that you could change? I would be a grown-up so I can do what I want.

9. What is your best feature? My intelligence

10. What is your worst feature?  self-control

LILY, AGE 6

1. What do you want to be when you grow up? a teacher

2. What is your favorite subject in school?  Math

3. What is your favorite food?  Fruit, especially blueberries

4. What do you enjoy doing?  Snuggling with Mommy

5. Where do you want to go on vacation?  Ocracoke Island

6. What is your favorite color?  Yellow

7, What is your favorite animal?  Puppy

8. What is one thing in the world that you could change? That everybody would be sweet to me.

9. What is your best feature? That I am friendly to everybody.

10. What is your worst feature? I whine all the time.

Lily discovered the Sunday comic section at my mother's house this weekend. Slightly obsessed, she carried it into the car, into the restaurant, into her bed. The next morning I caught her "reading the paper" on the front porch while she waited for our carpool. She looked like a little grown-up.


I just checked my voice mail and there was a message from Sadie. She attempted to disguise her voice as deeper and more sophisticated. Always a hoot to hear what she thinks is a professional voice and what she decides to say. This time she was someone from the children's book store calling for me. I must call her back, her message said and she included a fake number, too.

Today, after school, we went to the half-priced book fair held in the school library.  I sent the girls on ahead of me while I waited for Ethan.  I had already informed them there would be no buying "trinkedy-dinkedies" as well call them around here.  That is code for the pencils, erasers, pointy fingers, lip gloss, etc. that all stores try to get you to "add on."  You know, what's another 50 cents or dollar?  By sending the girls on ahead, they were to have their selections done so that we would only be waiting around for Ethan.  I didn't have much hope in what they would pick, but thought maybe one book would pass the litmus test.

However, sometimes a mom can be pleasantly surprised!  Sadie picked out two fantastic chapter books, including a book we had mentioned earlier that day, A Crooked Kind of Perfect, and a biography.  The picture of legs and feet covered in toe socks sealed the deal on that book.  Lily had one great book and one so-so dinky book.  We replaced it with a Geronimo Stilton book and she was content.  Ethan picked out two great chapter books, one is historical!  We picked up a couple more books since it was a buy-one, get-one free sale and headed out the door.  This is our summer reading.  I have found that library books are often late in the summer due to travel and often not read.  This system works like a charm for us.  The entire process of purchasing was completely painless, no whining (well, slightly from Lily about that dinky book), it didn't take very long and we were out the door.

The ride home was precious.  Each child was immersed in his/her book of choice.  It was quiet and lovely.  Later that afternoon, I was looking for Ethan and Sadie who seemed to have disappeared.  I looked out the back window and there they were, lying on a blanket, reading their new books.  Actually, Sadie was reading a book she began a couple of days ago.  Either way...fantastic!  The afternoon was so peaceful.  Lily stayed on the sofa in the kitchen to read her book, which she finished!  No arguments, no loud brain-reducing television, no issues.  Jay arrived home from work early to find them reading on a blanket.  I could see his smile from the kitchen window.  I must remember this moment and make sure it is not the last one of its kind. 

Here are the books the children selected:
Ethan:
Escape:  Children of the Holocaust by Allan Zullo
The Hunter Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (the second book in the series)
The Strange Case of Origami Yoda by Tom Angleberger

Sadie:
Miss Spitfire, Reaching Helen Keller by Sarah Miller
A Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban
Ruby's Slippers by Tricia Rayburn
Piper Reed, Navy Brat by Christine Davenier

Lily:
Best Friends in Fairyland by Daisy Meadows (already finished)
Pink Princess Rules the School by Alyssa Crowe
Weird Stores from the Lonesome Cafe by Judy Cox
The Karate Mouse by Geronimo Stilton (I think that is the author's name as well as the main character in the book)

I also picked up The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary and Flawed Dogs by Berkeley Breathed.  I'll admit the funny looking dachshund on the cover prompted me to purchase latter of the two books.  I am such a sucker for books.

I have a couple of book sales I want to attend this May, so hopefully, I can get some deals on historical books that cover the first historical period, our focus next year in homeschool.

There are moments as a mother that I want to capture for the remainder of my part in this life.  They represent success, at least defined by what I pray and hope for my children.  They are the chunks I hold onto when the going gets tough and I think everything I do is a failure.  Here is one of them:

There is a boy in Ethan's grade who has always struggled with behavior and getting along with other children. I don't know his full story as we have not been in his class until this year.  However, his reputation as a big problem in the classroom did preceed him.  Somewhere along the holidays, this boy decided that he was tired of always being in trouble, ready to change his reputation and learn to be friends with his classmates.  He wanted a complete "do-over."  Therefore he chose to stand in front of the entire grade and ask for their forgiveness and ask for them to allow him to start again.  Just typing this portion of the story brings me to tears.  What a brave, brave young man.

The teachers knew of his plan, but they were very nervous of the reaction of some 50 other kids.  They weren't sure how it was going to play out and how to conclude it.

After this boy finished his spiel, Ethan, my Ethan, raised his hands.  His teacher called on him and according to the teacher, he said something like:  I think I we can all agree that we really need to apologize to you, too.  We haven't always been the friend you needed or treated you fairly.  So please forgive us.

Ethan never said a word about this entire event to me.  The principal and his teachers did.  They were impressed by the maturity of his response.  I was pretty surprised as well.  However, if I think deeply, I shouldn't have been.  His heart has always been sweet and full of compassion for others.  This was a day that it shined just a little brighter.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a piece that brought me so much satisfaction.  I didn't notice there was an error in blogger's automatic saving mode.  When I clicked "Publish Post," there was an error.  At that moment I knew.  It was lost.  It hadn't saved and therefore, when I tried to return to the post, it was gone. 

It is defeating to me when that happens.  I don't write nearly as often as I would like and when I don't for a while, the words to do not flow.  I can not craft the exact sentiment I am trying to express.  For some reason, however, this one just flowed from my fingertips and left me completely spent.  Oh well.  I have to move on.

Oh my goodness, I love my kids.  When they are budding with creativity, or when they are behave like spoiled little boogers.  When they backtalk me with such vile that I could sew their mouths up forever, or when they excel at some endeavor that even they are shocked.  That is how our days have been lately.  The highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  Determining our determination is a good summary, actually.  Each little being in our house deciding just which battles they want to have - be it a good battle of academics or sports, or a bad battle between siblings and the fairness of life.

At 6, Lily has declared she is writing a book all about MATH!  Unbeknownst to me, Lily took her journal out and began writing math facts about adding the same number together.  She started by writing 1+1=2, 2+2=4, etc.  She is now somewhere in the 150s (152+152=304).  Her self-determined goal:  1,000.  I shouldn't really be surprised by this as she has always had an interest in patterns.  As a toddler, I would often find her sorting her blocks into colors or shapes.  She would always string beads along in a pattern.  Her enthusiasm is a bit contagious, I admit.  I have already thought about teaching her the very basic concept of multiplication in order for her to write her tables down in her journal.  She will be able to understand the pattern of that, even if she doesn't memorize them.  Maybe a goal for the summer?

Sadie has been somewhat of a brutal force on the soccer field in the latter half of the spring season.  She hasn't played in 2 or 3 years and yet, has found this determination in her spirit to come away from the pack with the ball.  Most often, she succeeds, even against some bigger boys.  She just doesn't give up!  She had a a nasty fall in the driveway that resulted in a few extra layers of skin on her knees.  The next day at her game she fell a few times going after the ball and was kicked in the knee as well.  Despite blood being drawn and keeping her hands in little fists from the pain, she refused to come out of the game and continue to push forward.  One the flip side, Sadie is once again asserting her independence and not really holding back verbally when she is not exactly thrilled at the request being given to her.  In fact, she has been downright rude and mouth.  Poor thing...hardly has any privileges left to take away.  Her favorite line lately, "You are so mean!"  UGH! I sense, however, we might be turning the corner.

Ethan is pushing past the boredom that May can sometimes bring with swimming.  Short-course season is over; school is ending. Things seem to be ending everywhere, except in swimming. He was finding some issues with the authority at swimming, but I told him he simply needed to buck up. This wasn't about them, it was about him.  Make these practices all about getting himself better, improving his skill, soaking it all in, working hard when a lot of other swimmers were in slow motion just getting ready for summer leagues. I haven't heard much more complaining since that conversation.  As far as his usual banter/fighting/animosity toward Sadie, I have overheard him say two times, "Sadie, let's just stop.  It isn't worth it."  Time away from the material object of their desire can do wonders to an attitude.

We are moving through May at lightning speed.  Two weeks and 3 days until the end of school. 

Updates and Conversations...

Sadie:  How do you get to work in the White House, Mom?
Me:  Well, you have to decide that is your goal.  You have to go to college and probably major in something like political science.  Then, you have to work pretty hard to get there.
Sadie:  Mom, I meant like a housekeeper.  I am only interested in that.

We were dyeing Easter eggs.  Upon removing Lily's egg from a mixture of colors,
Lily announced:  That looks like vomit.  I think she didn't like how it looked.

What I learned on our trip to Washington, DC:

Traffic in the city stinks.  Traffic in the city stinks.  Traffic in the city stinks.  We traveled 14 miles for 4 hours.  I wanted to hurt someone. Jay and I decided not to speak to each other at one point as there was nothing pleasant that was coming out and we were so on edge.  It was just terrible and there was no way around it in order to get to the Embassy where we were trying to renew his Dutch passport.

Museums are really cool.  However, Sadie is just as happy playing in the park by the hotel chasing disease infested birds.  Ethan is at the age where he appreciates what he is seeing and doesn't complain.  Lily does not like to walk, often announcing her legs are tired.

Sadie can charm anyone when she so desires.  She learned to haggle on her own for an aquarium at a yard sale this weekend.  Pretty impressive.  She also lasted at a dinner with fairly decent behavior for about 1.5 hours with some friends of mine.  She lost it in the last half hour, however. 

For as long as Lily did not have her front teeth, I expected them to slowly emerge.  However, they pushed forth over our break rather quickly.  She now has "half teeth" showing on top. This makes for a mouth that is scant of any normal looking teeth, gaps and an non-uniform looking smile.  It is the most jumbled mess of teeth, but her smile is still priceless to me.

Ethan loves to hang with me.  He usually takes my side when we are deciding what we are going to do on a given day.  He is trooper on trips like this, always wanting to explore and experience more.  Well, except for the First Ladies of the White House exhibit.  He was not too keen on that one.

My kids are terrible at self-entertaining when they need to sit still and be quiet without the use of personal electronics.  Maybe they aren't different than most kids, but it is quite problematic to me.  Actually, I should clarify.  Lily is pretty decent at descending into her own world.  However, Sadie is horrible at conforming when she does not want to.  I mean, horrible.  I have devised a training program that will begin this summer.  We'll see how it works.

There is nothing that brings me more happiness to my entire self than hearing my children laugh.  Lily has a belly giggle that in unmatched.  Ethan can fall into fits of uncontrollable laughter.  And, Sadie has a sinister, yet lovable laugh that is usually the result of successfully carried out plans.  I heard their laughter many times this past week and it was never tiring.

In the world of competitive parents...

Every 6 months or so I rebel. I think it is a natural inclination as a mother to throw my hands up in the air and declare, "Whatever. I am done." I had one of those days on Sunday. The attitude of the culmination of 2 weeks with my mother-in-law, a week of living in my car more than my bed and a weekend where I shuttled kids to 2 birthday parties, 2 soccer games, 1 swim practice, a church directory picture, and a sleepover. Not to mention what goes along with those activities, which I will list anyway - 2 birthday presents wrapped, one swim bag packed, 2 soccer uniforms clean and ready and preparation for the directory picture so that at minimum we look like we pondered the merits of personal hygiene on a weekly basis.

Per my usual fashion of inssurection, I start trying to dump any commitments that I have in order to simplify my life. It usually comes at my own expense because what is easiest to let go are the ones that no one else cares about...mine. My kids and my husband won't complain if I put a halt to bible study or some coffee breaks with my friends. However, knowing this ultimately results in hurting myself and building resentment, I refrained for once. Instead, I begin scurrying around looking for some non-existent solutions and blame everyone at tearing at the last remains of my sanity.  Ranting never works; I should know that by now.

Yet, this entire cycle of constant activity and its ramifications would not leave my brain. This continuous analysis was compounded by a chapter in my current bible study on resting and why God asks us to do it. The residuals of the Chinese Mothers saga and a few run-ins with uber competitive parents has forced me to ask this one question about my life: What is my motivation with all this running around?

I always said that I wanted my kids to have a sport they love, a musical instrument they could play and learn to contribute to the world in a socially conscious way, not to mention the academic goals which include all three of them being admitted to Carolina (just kidding, or am I?). That is a lot of expectation when you are mother of three - three who are still pretty dependent on motivation, transportation and logistics. Lest I forget the most important aspect of mothering for me...their spiritual journey. Nothing like the weight of that on your shoulders. I know God is ultimately the One who will see that one through, but it is my responsibility to rear them in His way.

With those "goals" in my head, I charted our paths towards success! Please note the use of heavy sarcasm in that sentence. We have dabbled in piano and guitar lessons, swim teams, soccer teams, gymnastics, art camps, cheerleading, sporatic dance classes, basketball for a season or two, scouts, and a type of girl scouts, and horseback riding. Through homeschool classes Sadie is learning dance, drama, music, art, and even sign language.

In comparison, by the end of my 5th grade year, I could chalk up two years of piano and a season or two of community girls softball. That was it. Something has changed within one generation and I want to know what. What is in the heart of the thousands of parents toting kids to soccer fields on a Saturday, to pay costly fees for special clinics and spend hours sitting around in camping chairs, on bleachers and even better, in our cars waiting for our special blessings to become the next Mozart, Beckham, van Gogh or Phelps.

Well, I have looked deep and I know my motivation is not founded where it should be. I am going to be very real here. I do all these things because I don't want my kids to be left behind. I don't want them to miss out on any fulfilling any gifts and talents they may have. I fear that they will not have every opportunity open to them when they are grown because I did not push them. I worry that my kids will be just average - really not "good" at anything. Did I just write that? Pitiful, just a pitiful comment on me.  What is the craziest part of this I know I don't have very little control on how my kids turn out, yet I continue to push forth.

With very few exceptions, most kids under the age of 10 are participating in sports because they love being around other kids. The actual activity in which they are participating in is somewhat a moot point. Although, I know Ethan is developing a greater love of the actual sport of swimming this year. Sadie, however, is no longer swimming. The competition, the pressure, her desire to do well churned her insides into an emotional mess. Taking time away has been a great thing and if she ever decides to go back to year round swimming, it will be on a non-competitive level.

Yesterday, I also spoke with several other moms regarding this issue. They, being further along the mothering role than I, did affirm that there was something crazy about these toting around years. However, they assured me that it settles down. It is just a season. Parents become a little less crazy, everyone's expectations lower and most allow the kids to drive the show. The world of opportunity begins shrinking as they discover, and thus hone in on, what they are passionate about. That was affirming to hear.

I am still working through this from a biblical standpoint. The priorities in life should be God, spouse, family and then work. Yet, I know valuable life lessons have been learned through my kids' involvement in sports and extra-curricular activities. Perseverance, showing grace, encouragement, forgiveness, and dealing jealousy are just a few of the key lessons I can quickly list. Where is the balance?

So, what is the take away from all this?

1. It is a season. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

2. Fun should always be the first and only priority. Kids put themselves under enough pressure as it is.

3. If you become mad, yell or cry regarding your child's performance, then it has stopped being about your child and more about you. Crying for happiness because of your child's happiness does not count although it is hard for me to relate because I am not a "cryer."

And finally,

4. God created your child, giving him special gifts and abilities. No one and nothing will stand in the way of God seeing these worked out in his life in the way God knows best, no matter how hard a parent tries.  He is a sovereign God.

A Note Written by Lily

rules up stars

1. No food alode (allowed) atershool
2. No stiling toys wihtout asking
3. No going in Sadie room without asking.
4. No fiting a lode.
5. No going in Ethan room without asking.
6. No going in Lily room without asking.
7.  Listen to mom.
8. Listen to dad.