Our Human Box

Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

No, I didn't write that. Someone else did. I have read it several times. The words themselves, the word choices are fairly accurate, with the exception of the word "Zombie." Still, three things are missing, well, more like dismissed in this quote. (in addition to the most obvious fact that the writer is not a believer). I will touch on two today, the third one tomorrow.

Edward Said, a literary critic, culled the term the "Other" - people who seem to foreign in some truth that we consider them alien to us. The statement above is evidence of someone ignoring the magnitude of who God is and then trying to cram Him, "the Other," into a human viewpoint. God does not fit into our box, people. God transcends all that we know on this earth, so we cannot use our simple words to pare down who He really is. To insist on full understanding is nothing but futility.

Jan Winebrenner in, "The Grace of Catastrophe" explains this well when she writes, "God is infinite, and our finite minds cannot grasp all that He is, all that He wants to be to us, all that He is doing, and all the He wants to do for us. We are incapable of fully plumbing the depths of God, His character, His plans, His goals; nor can we completely comprehend the strength of His love, the passion of His pursuit of us, the length to which He will go to make Himself known to us."

God, in His own voice, explains this to us in scripture:
My thoughts are not your thoughts.
nor are your ways My ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9

Yet, how often do we try to understand life through our own lenses and not through His word? We simplify Him. We water down His power, dilute His strength, weaken His word. We interpret His motives and His actions to fit our lives. It makes it easier to justify our own actions, our choices, and the events happenings around us because we think we have the power to fully understand Him. It is tempting, almost irresistible to judge and make assumptions about circumstances, causes, and consequences.

In 2004 an earthquake hit the Indian Ocean. The force unleashed was estimated to have released the energy of 23,000 Hiroshima-type atomic bombs, according to the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS). The resulting tsunami killed over 150,000 and left millions homeless. It pained me to hear believers interpret this event as the wrath of God on an ignorantly-perceived God-less society. It amazed me they had the audacity to claim to know the purpose behind such a catastrophe. The lack of humility that came with such a statement overwhelmed me. The focus had shifted off of their desperate need for God and into a position of false enlightenment.

The other component missing from that statement is love which is inseparable from God. He cannot be anything but full of love because that is fully His nature. A love we cannot fully experience on earth. The well-quoted scripture, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son..." (John 3:16) And again in 1 John 4:10, "This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

Our Enemy loves for us to "create and imagine" our God. Winebrenner says again, "We forget the truth about him, about His character, about the nature of His love for us and the "kind intention of His will" Ephesians 1:5." We consistently fail to grasp that God's love is "totally other." It operates solely from Him, unique to Him and not on our timetable, our plans or our circumstances.

I don't presume to know what the writer's life is like. I do know that that our Enemy does not want us to believe that God loves us. He goes to great lengths to prevent us from experiencing it, from believing in it. I see it in my own life every day. It comes in whispers in my ear, challenging what I know is true in God's word and about His character.

Are you resolved today to listen to His voice through His word and to feel His love that without fail tries to hold you?

I'll end with this quote from Larry Crabb, "There's more to knowing God than we dare imagine. It's time to put aside our cynicism and come to God, waiting consciously and deliberately, and with discipline for the Spirit to delight our souls with the rich fare of God."

My Sunday Reflection

Crossroads are a natural part of life's journey. Fairly predictable at the end of education endeavors, decision on marriage and bearing children. But, I think the ones that are the most difficult involve less on the factual statuses of life and more on matters of the heart.

I have spent two years at a crossroad. Written all throughout this blog are posts littered with depression, questioning, with a sprinkling of some epiphanies, yet no action has really been taken. It is much easier for me to write about being at the crossroads and what I think I should do than actually stepping forth, making a move, getting off of the "x marks the spot" and journeying on.

Last night I found myself at the foot of my beautiful Sadie's bed while she slept. My purpose in being there was to pray for her, to petition to God for wisdom and understanding into a beautiful mind that has become an enigma to me.


You see, this school year has brought to the surface the struggles that each individual member of my family has, but in no one more obvious that Sadie. I noticed a decline in her behavior over the summer. Little acts of disobedience. Little manipulations. Little lies. Little aggravations. I was not the proactive mother. Our summer schedule left little time to enforce discipline measures. Jay traveled much of the time. Honestly, I was just tired of being a mom. Tired of being, actually.


As the school year has progressed, so has Sadie's transgressions. A little bit of talking in class has become a lot of talking in class which has become talking while the teacher is instructing which has become impulsive loud acts, which has become hitting another child with a book, chasing around a hair in the air while class is being conducted...etc., etc., etc. This only parallels her behavior at home causing me to be consumed with anger and for me to attempt warp drive in the control department. If I just clamp down hard enough, rant and yell enough, I can squash her into this box that I think she should fit in. I searched the internet - ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Boredom, Highly Intellectual, Differentiation in the Classroom - looking for answers, solutions, problem-solving on my own. Do you hear the problems already?

The height of these acts occurred this week, resulting in an explosion or rather a possible implosion of our family. As typical with the workings of God, desperate times draw you close to Him and you reach a new heightened sense of awareness of Him and His love. Monday was just one of those days...

So, there I was, sitting beside my sleeping angel desperate to hear from Him. As I prayed for my child's heart, the light began to shine into my own heart. I wasn't just praying fervently for her, I was praying desperately, soul-searchingly for me. I needed my God. The tears became sobs. I was broken, yet again.

How could I have gotten to this place? Admittedly, by my own two feet. Walking away from Him. On my own.

Easily, I cried out to God to draw us both close to Him. He comforted my heart. He soothed my soul. The next day, God continued speaking to my heart in my bible study. This is what I learned:

1) God is not asking me to problem solve this situation. He asks that I just love her, turn her to Him, apply necessary discipline. Ultimately, I must have faith that He who does a good work, will be faithful to complete it. I should never be desperate or exacerbated.

2) I must shore myself up with the word. My life's history clearly shows how being the word is hugely impacting to me in every single part of my day. The highest of highs, the joy of of joys comes from being with my Savior. My entire countenance changes, a supernatural change that I can not create myself. I am able to transcend the struggles of this world to live with a peace that truly passes all understanding.

3) I must role model self-control which can not come from me, but from the Holy Spirit. If I am flying off the handle, having my little adult fits, rages, etc., how in the world can I expect Sadie not to?

4) I must not let how this world defines a "good" child be my guide for Sadie, nor can I let the rolling eyes and judgements of other parents, teachers, etc. to shame me, doubt my parenting, or define success for me. This is between me, Sadie and God.

I would like to say that all of this changed the remaining days of the week, like a miracle was performed and Sadie showed marked improvement. No. That was not the case. However, there was a miracle in my ability to handle it, to administer appropriate punishment, to turn her heart to the Lord. We have had some very sweet prayers and discussions as well as some very tough discipline measures. For example, her room contains only with her bed and clothing.

Therefore, I wait. I pray and I wait expectantly. It is nice to have the crossroads to my back. You know, I might be walking a very long time, but I have faith that somewhere along that path, the trees will bear much fruit.