Thursday, December 31, 2009

The End of a Decade...

The 2000s. Almost over. Hanging out for another 14 and a half hours. When I was younger I thought for sure we would all be jetting around in Jetson air cars by this point. Why aren't we? And what about that transporter in Star Trek? At least we got the internet, right?

I would like to think that this past decade brought the lowest of lows that I will ever experience in my lifetime. Conversely, I hope to experience more highs in the next decade, but who wouldn't? The '00s brought the loveliest highs: the birth of my three children, the house we live in, the start of a our company. And the most unimaginable lows: the cancer and death of my sister, the death of three grandparents, the splintering of certain family relationships, my back injury and surgery. When I think about it, I lost nearly half of the decade to the first "low" when you combine the 3 year journey and subsequent emotional coma/post-traumatic stress syndrome I existed in for 2 years after. To say that I am ready for this turn of the calendar, the end of writing the mark of the year with a zero and another number is an understatement.

I have always seen this one night as some line of demarcation, as does most of the world. As if this one night, one page turn signals drastic change. One door closing on what was, the past that is never alterable except in science fiction shows. One door opening to what is to come. A time of unlimited possibilities, a blank slate, optimistically waiting to be written. In reality, you can pick any day of the calendar year for this, right? It is all a choice for change.

So what are my choices for change in 2010? I like to use the word "goals" as you can make an action plan, take steps to get to a goal. The word "resolution" denotes more of an immediate change or else you you face assured failure so I don't use it. Here is my little list:

1. To submit some writing samples for consideration to be published. I won't even go into actually getting published because that is out of my hands. I will start with this little baby step of submitting.

2. To commit to an exercise routine 2 days /week. I won't get into how much weight I want to lose or how tone I want to be. In the past I have ridiculously written that I want to run in a 10 k or try an mini-triathlon. Two days is an insanely simple goal. In fact, 2 days probably wouldn't even change my body shape, but I feel like it is reachable. I might like it so much that I will go for 3 days and gasp...surpass my goal. I would like to throw in tennis into the mix. My very short stint in 2009 (2 times) reminded me how much I love the game.

3. Take one course that will tap into my creativity, as if I can claim to have any to begin with! Maybe this is just a pottery class at the YWCA, who knows. But something small, short and a start.

4. To find a place of fulfillment, spiritually. Tough and uneven roads have been all I have found over the past 3 years. This is the toughest goal to create a plan for. I know what I need to do, but will it work? Will my heart be more open to receive and live out what is so challenging at times?

5. Finally, I want to find a place of contentment. My vision is to rise above the hiccups of every day life so that it does not cause injury to my soul. That is connected with #4 most definitely. But, more so, in my daily living. The fact that I have become a tooth grinder at the last half of this year saddens me. It can only be from stress that this has begun. My anxiety has grown leaps and bounds and the sources of it are just absurd, mundane, unimportant events that are normal, every day events for 99% of the world. Control freak. Period. Gotta change it. Steps include counseling, possible acupuncture and massage therapy, a visit to my dentist and of course, lots of prayer.

And, so that completes the list of changes I would like to make in 2010. May it be a blessed year for us all.

1 comment:

Angela said...

I'm right with you on #2, #4, and #5. I'm also tossing in read more for enjoyment and pleasure to nourish my soul.