Friday, April 20, 2007

two months down...

Ethan - Lost one top tooth and one bottom tooth (numbers 3 & 4). Both of them I pulled out with my fingers - I can't believe it. I had no idea they came out so easily. Plus, I can't believe I didn't gag all over the place. When I lost two of my wedding rings on the beach (flew off my fingers when I was brushing sand off my pants) Ethan made us all stop and pray. He was the first to point to God and gave a mighty, heart-felt prayer that left mom and I in tears. What a precious little soul. On the other hand we are dealing with some serious laziness when it comes to work. I get lecturing and still, he doesn't seem to get motivated to do his work, make it neat with out complaining. We are having to redo work several times before it is presentable. The answers are correct, but he just is lazy about how it gets on paper and has to work very hard at staying focused. UGH! It brings back flashbacks of when I was young and mom harping on me. I guess I deserve this. Ethan really learned how to swim with out any assistance over Easter. He was swimming really well in the deep end and swam the entire length of the pool. Granted, it was not a huge length, but nevertheless, it was great. He was excited about it as well. Ethan had a friend over today. He included Sadie with all of their play - how wonderful. Good lesson for Sadie. Ethan learned all about the armor of God over the past week and jumped to tell me all about it. He has been crying quite a bit about Ansley over the past week. It breaks my heart every time, especially when he starts really sobbing. He still looks up to Colby and thankfully, Colby gave him a lot of attention at the beach over Easter. I hope Colby continues to include Ethan. Ethan is definitely my deep thinker - asking such questions like, "Why didn't God just create us in heaven to be with Him, why did he bother with earth?" It is neat to see him processing all the information.

Sadie - Still working hard on her. She told me today in the Mayberry's bathroom that she was tired of trying to be good. It was too much work and she just didn't want to do it anymore. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT???? We have been doing a devotional on self-control and reading her Princess Bible. Every time we make some progress, I feel we move back several feet. NO matter how much I try to encourage her - tell her to call on the Spirit to give her the strength, pray with her, read with her, etc. it seems she just is so incredibly self-focused. At the same time, she can be very, very sweet. Mom says she is so into me and wants me to love her so much. She loves to listen to Jesus songs and will ask for the same ones over and over and over. The loss of Skippy has been devastating to her. She loves all animals and losing Skippy has been a blow. I wonder if some of her behavior has been connected with that. She did say after our beach trip during one particular good cry that now she doesn't have an aunt OR a cat. (tears!). However, Jay has promised her a cat again as soon as we get back from Ocracoke OR France (if that happens). She is happily collecting caterpillars in every type of tupperware container she can find. I finally got her a new bug house so I could spare my last few good pieces of gladware from caterpillar poo!!!

Lily - Still happy Lily. Her normal disposition is happy. She is smiles and laughter. She loves to talk, talk, talk. Sometimes I think I will go crazy in the car with her incessant talking! Some of her favorite mispronunciations are: Blueberries (boo-bies),
Her version of Twinkle Little star will melt anyone's heart. She knows all her shapes, colors, numbers by sight to 10 and counting to 15. She knows at least half of her alphabet and their sounds (thank you leap frog video and toys). She loves to play pretend. Loves to be involved in anything with Sadie and Ethan. Adores Colby and wants to be right with him if he is around. Likes to color, do puzzles and play outside. Loves to swing and sing songs. She is a touch child and asks me to Wub back, Mommy all the time. She hates to have her hair brushed, but knows the minute I go for the hair bow, it is all over and stops crying. At night she has to sleep with her friends - Dora, Diego, Big bird and Mickey mouse. Also has to have several books and even if she has five on her bed, she will ask for one more. Over our market trip, she graduated out of the portacrib and high chair. She is in a booster and no longer uses a bed rail. She is a girl now. She now sits at the big counter and at the table and not in her booster. HOWEVER, she still want consistently pee in the potty. I am really going to try hard this summer because she cannot go to the 3s class unless she does. There for a while she was going, but then, things with Ans went down hill and I couldn't keep up. Now, I feel like it is a losing battle. I just can't seem to keep the consistency down. She also isn't quite ready for an open cup, at least not with food at the same time. She sees the cup as something to play with and put food in (yuck!). We decide to only do 2 days of preschool next year. I want her home. I want to stay at home more and this will enable us to do both. It just makes more sense. I am looking forward to being with just her and playing with her more.

I am reading a great book, A Grace Disguised. What a treasure this is. I can't say enough on how it has helped me through this dark time. I am still directionless - but will say I am directing what little I do have on the kids. Nothing is tugging at me, so I stay at home.

Today was so emotional. Colby sand a solo at grandparent's day at HPCA. Not only is Colby a truly gifted singer, but the material, "the Calm in the Storm" was almost too much for me to hear. I began to feel that familiar twinge in my nose, the water in my eyes and my shoulders begin to shake. I almost had to leave the sanctuary as I thought I might burst into sobbing (loud, crazy sobbing). I know Ansley saw him, but I wanted her to experience it on this earth. She should have been there to see him...in person. That hurt for me and for Colby. However, what a blessing to she that she carries on in him. The more I am around him, the more I see her. It is so sweet. I can see it in his smile and some of his actions - thank you God. I noticed that his hands are so much shaped like hers. I teared up when I saw that as her hands are some of my strongest most vivid memories of her when she died. I held them as she died.