Well, we survived market cleaning and moving out for market. We stayed at mom's for a week and then I took Ansley and the girls and went to Myrtle Beach to stay at the Clinard's condo. We had a good time. Ansley was really tired and did a bit of vomiting. I noticed she just doesn't talk like she used to. She doesn't initiate conversations and doesn't really respond too much to chatter. We talked about it on the way home and she said she just doesn't have any mental capacity to converse. Everything she does is for the cancer and she just can't get anything else together. It is tough not to have her as her old self. I think I have been in denial that she won't ever be herself again. It is a tough thing to swallow.
I was going through pictures that I have in 2004 (still that far behind in scrapbooking). There are pictures that all I can see in them is reminders of cancer. So, I am putting them in a separate pile in order to make my own book of cancer memories. I plan to put all the email updates in them as well. It will be a painful book, I am sure to make and look at in the future. However, it is one that needs to be made.
Lily has been extremely difficult the past couple of days since we have been home. She ran a fever for a day and then just screams. I don't know if it is teeth or if it is all the changes. She wouldn't sleep last night and I thought I would go crazy as she patted me and chattered away at 3 this morning. She seems to hate sliding around in her car seat when we go around a curve. Hey - maybe tightening the straps will help. She just screams. I don't know what she wants. It is so very unlike her. I hope the next week things seem to work a little better. It is VERY frustrating.
Sadie still clings to her boots. It seems to be that she wears them when she thinks it is more of an important occasion. Very funny about it. We picked up John and Alisa from the airport (coming home to have the baby) and she HAD to wear them. She made a hilarious comment tonight to me: "Daddy left on my purple light and I can't sleep with it on, it is too bright." Mind you, she has insisted that light be on as well as her bathroom light on for the 6 months and now it is TOO bright???? Finally she is letting me fix her hair in a ponytail or pigtails or braids. She looks so grown up. This all had to be because Mrs. Nance asked her to - whom she loves. She sees Mrs. Nance like a girlfriend who she can talk to about anything. Mrs. Nance has taught her so very much about the Lord and her own character. We have been so blessed!
Jay brought home a baby pool Friday with a little slide to it. THEY LOVE IT. They pretend to be seals and dolphins and sharks as they slide down into the water. Over and over and over they go down it. I really hope to have the swimming thing down pat before we go to France in July.
I need to compose the conversation I heard between Ethan and Sadie when they were down at the creek - probably back in late March/early April. They came back without Sadie's shoes. She was too scared to go back to get them by herself. I told her to ask Ethan to go with her. She did and he said no. Then I said Ethan would you help her. He said, ok, I'll go. She said, "Promise you'll keep me safe?" He said, Sure. Off they went - holding hands. Her knight in shining armor.
The above is such a sweet moment - and now it seems all they do is fight. The back seat is a war and I am so incredibly tired of it! I am going to have to come to some resolution to it. Ethan's attitude if he is not getting everything he wants can really stink and Sadie plays ignorant of his talkings and so it gets to him, too.
Ethan is all mesmerized by infomericals now. He was insistent we needed to buy this stick on crown molding. "Just peel, place and push," he said. Then he wanted me to get the Betty Crocker easy bake pan set. So funny. I can't believe school is almost over! Now, I will have a 1 st grader. Mrs. Segers told me how much he loves the Lord and what a sweet and enjoyable boy he is. Made me feel good. I can tell he struggles with reading. Math seems to be fine, but reading makes him nervous. It doesn't come easy and we will work on it this summer.
I am glad to have caught up on some of my "blogging" I am using this to remember more when I start scrapbooking. Oh - I need to write more about our Easter trip to Emerald Isle and the camper, church services, biking with our Easter clothes on.
Dates to remember: April 30 - Ethan rides without training wheels - learns at Grammy's house when I was at the beach, Sadie wants to do it, too and will probably do it in a matter of days (according to Jay), April 23 - Lily has fourth tooth on bottom to come in - a strange mix of teeth - two on the top, four on the bottom and two large molars in the back on the bottom.
Oh Strawberry picking today - nothing too interesting happened except that it took all of 15 minutes - so quick. Lily ate one and was clapping and excited that the juice spewed out of her mouth. Grammy and I laughed very, very hard.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
February 28, 2006
Today is my grandmother's 80th birthday. Happy Birthday, Gram! She spent the day driving and talking on her mobile phone. Not bad for 80! We had lunch with her at Mayberry's. It was good to see my grandfather. I thought I saw a flicker of remembrance in his eyes as to who I was. He likes to give kisses, on the lips. He is such a cute, lovable man, even when you don't feel much reception. I miss him calling me KT and Caymen as I began to be called later in life. I miss him joking with me. Although, I wonder if he still doesn't have it at times. He laughed at something I said about the girls at lunch. I wonder mostly how Gram will be able to deal with life when he is gone. Her life is nothing but taking care of him. I know she trusts in the Lord, but I hurt for what will be so painful for her.
Lily learned to go down stairs holding onto the railings while at the playground. She also loves to slide on the playground and she sat on my lap while we were on the swings. I think her mind is beginning to work a little more complicated these days as she seems to figure out more and more. She is able to figure out how to get what she wants physically. She is starting to talk. She can say car, ball, bowl, cracker, clock, juice, up, bath, bunny, moooo, bo-bo, I want, diaper, shoe, Nah-nah for Grand-D, and nan-nu for thank you. She is not yet saying yes or no. Yes sounds more like an Ah sound. She had her first major temper tantrum this week because I wouldn't let her have my mobile phone. Why are her favorite toys the phone and my keys? Oh - and my eyeliner.
Ethan had a note from his teacher today. He can't seem to keep his hands to himself or his mouth closed. We had a talk. I am not sure he ever understands the severity of his actions. We have started working harder at his sight words, but we definitely need to work on his "b" words. He spelled several words for me tonight in the car - five, four, three, etc. I was impressed. He also likes to make books. He is very good at making a storyline. I love the little books and his drawings. They are so well thought-out for his age - a real plot with matching drawings and he staples them together in order. I love that he is so sweet and touch-oriented. However, most kids are not like that and he doesn't understand why other boys don't like to hug like he does. He is emotional, too. I don't know how to get him to toughen up a little. Maybe I have babied him. I hope not.
Sadie had a difficult day. There are moments when I see such progress, but then...I find her with three bottles of my best fingernail polish and red polish all over her shirt and hands. She is trying to "wash" off the evidence before she is caught. There were lots of complete deafness on her part when I made requests of her. Then, she put on a great outfit after her bath before we went to church. But that was after she was crying/screaming on the bathroom floor because she was cold after her bath. What she really wanted was time with me. I realize that now, but I had to get everyone ready and fed before heading to church. I wish she understood that. She used her words when asking Graylyn to, "Graylyn, please stop doing that." Then she peed in her pants. Totally don't understand her at times. I wish I did. I try to love her as much as I can - telling her how proud I am of her, but then she can just get the best of me. I need to carve out that time to spend with her every day. She has been shuffled, well, they all have been shuffled over the past few days and I really need to spend individual time with each of them. Their behavior and my ability to reason with them seems to increase dramatically when I do. Imagine that!
The bickering between Ethan and Sadie in the car is almost to the point of insanity. They can be such a help to each other, then they will scream about who gets to listen to their song first. Tonight it was over Sadie having her light on. UGH!
The most embarrassing discovery today was that there is not doubt I have a family of mice in my car. I removed Lily's car seat and there was plenty of mice droppings. It really should not be that shocking because of the various amounts of food, crumbs, candy, etc left in my car. Just now I can think of a piece of crush toast, a handful of candy hearts from Valentine's Day, several pieces of goldfish and a few fries from tonight's rushed dinner on the way to church. They will have a buffet - field mice never had it so good.
The best news of the day was Ansley's awakening from her drug induced near coma over the past few weeks due to pain meds she has been taking. Although the loopiness provided great laughs, there was nothing better than seeing "my sister" back in her body. It was a near perfect day with her, the short time I spent with her. I want more days like this, please God.
I hope to continue this blog, even if no one ever reads it but me . It will be a nice "diary" of sorts which I can refer to when I am scrapbooking and working on other archival projects.
Lily learned to go down stairs holding onto the railings while at the playground. She also loves to slide on the playground and she sat on my lap while we were on the swings. I think her mind is beginning to work a little more complicated these days as she seems to figure out more and more. She is able to figure out how to get what she wants physically. She is starting to talk. She can say car, ball, bowl, cracker, clock, juice, up, bath, bunny, moooo, bo-bo, I want, diaper, shoe, Nah-nah for Grand-D, and nan-nu for thank you. She is not yet saying yes or no. Yes sounds more like an Ah sound. She had her first major temper tantrum this week because I wouldn't let her have my mobile phone. Why are her favorite toys the phone and my keys? Oh - and my eyeliner.
Ethan had a note from his teacher today. He can't seem to keep his hands to himself or his mouth closed. We had a talk. I am not sure he ever understands the severity of his actions. We have started working harder at his sight words, but we definitely need to work on his "b" words. He spelled several words for me tonight in the car - five, four, three, etc. I was impressed. He also likes to make books. He is very good at making a storyline. I love the little books and his drawings. They are so well thought-out for his age - a real plot with matching drawings and he staples them together in order. I love that he is so sweet and touch-oriented. However, most kids are not like that and he doesn't understand why other boys don't like to hug like he does. He is emotional, too. I don't know how to get him to toughen up a little. Maybe I have babied him. I hope not.
Sadie had a difficult day. There are moments when I see such progress, but then...I find her with three bottles of my best fingernail polish and red polish all over her shirt and hands. She is trying to "wash" off the evidence before she is caught. There were lots of complete deafness on her part when I made requests of her. Then, she put on a great outfit after her bath before we went to church. But that was after she was crying/screaming on the bathroom floor because she was cold after her bath. What she really wanted was time with me. I realize that now, but I had to get everyone ready and fed before heading to church. I wish she understood that. She used her words when asking Graylyn to, "Graylyn, please stop doing that." Then she peed in her pants. Totally don't understand her at times. I wish I did. I try to love her as much as I can - telling her how proud I am of her, but then she can just get the best of me. I need to carve out that time to spend with her every day. She has been shuffled, well, they all have been shuffled over the past few days and I really need to spend individual time with each of them. Their behavior and my ability to reason with them seems to increase dramatically when I do. Imagine that!
The bickering between Ethan and Sadie in the car is almost to the point of insanity. They can be such a help to each other, then they will scream about who gets to listen to their song first. Tonight it was over Sadie having her light on. UGH!
The most embarrassing discovery today was that there is not doubt I have a family of mice in my car. I removed Lily's car seat and there was plenty of mice droppings. It really should not be that shocking because of the various amounts of food, crumbs, candy, etc left in my car. Just now I can think of a piece of crush toast, a handful of candy hearts from Valentine's Day, several pieces of goldfish and a few fries from tonight's rushed dinner on the way to church. They will have a buffet - field mice never had it so good.
The best news of the day was Ansley's awakening from her drug induced near coma over the past few weeks due to pain meds she has been taking. Although the loopiness provided great laughs, there was nothing better than seeing "my sister" back in her body. It was a near perfect day with her, the short time I spent with her. I want more days like this, please God.
I hope to continue this blog, even if no one ever reads it but me . It will be a nice "diary" of sorts which I can refer to when I am scrapbooking and working on other archival projects.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
