So, there are times in my life where my love for my kids seems to be overflowing. I know, I know, it is always there, but sometimes because of circumstances, stress, etc. I don't recognize it as clearly. Here are a couple of examples of why:
Setting: Sadie, home from school not feeling well. In the basement watching a movie so that Jay could work on cabinets. Wearing headset so the saw noise wouldn't hurt her ears.
Sadie: I'm bored (saying to noone apparent)
A few minutes go by
Jay: Sadie, are you ok? Are you bored? Do you want a different movie?
Sadie: No, I'm ok.
A few more minutes go by
Sadie: in a soft little voice. Are you there? I love you God.
MELT MY HEART!!! She is starting to show signs of real progress in her heart. She wants to do well, to make good choices, to feel that sense of right and wrong. I LOVE IT!
We went to the Dollar Store this week so that the kids could use their allowance to purchase gifts for family members (they each spent about $20 EACH of their own money). Sadie LOVED doing it. She didn't want me to walk with her - instead picked out everything herself Except for one item, she did really well. As soon as she got home she got to wrapping. I remember that being a very tasking job when I was that young, but she has such manual dexterity that it is a snap. In fact, she wants to spend tonight helping me wrap gifts.
Saturday we went to the Nutcracker at HPU with Grammy and Graylyn. It was Grammy's treat and it is such a great tradition for the girls. Next year, we will take Lily for the first time. Sadie put on her fancy Christmas dress and then it came time for the tights. I had to insist she wear them as it was very cold - 40 degrees or so. However, she really struggled with getting them on and how they felt. I remember when things didn't feel right - how I like tight shoes and belts when I was little. I did much better after I was able to have a little fit to myself - a little screaming, etc. It just didn't feel right and I had to get it out! So, I let Sadie have a litle struggle - getting out how she felt and then she was much better. In fact, when given the option of taking them off as soon as we got home, she chose to keep them on! She has had a couple of great weeks at school and seems to be very much in love with her teachers. She is academically soaring. Basketball starts in January and I know that she will just be great at it - she is a natural athlete.
Conversation#2: Setting: Sadie, Lily and Mommy in Lily's room playing with the doctor set. Mommy is laying on the floor as the patient. Sadie is working on my hair and Lily is checking me out with all the tools. Lily refers to me as Mommy.
Sadie: Lily, Mommy is the patient, call her patient.
Lily: Mommy, be patient.
So cute! Lily has been testing a bit more lately, but I know that it is because she is really tired. She has not had her usual naps as we have been quite busy. This is evident as she fell asleep on the ottoman in the kitchen around 4:30 yesterday with the lights on and the tv on and everyone buzzing around her. She is really focused on getting a bath every night. Just loves playing in there, especially with me in there, too. She likes making patterns of blocks and legos. Very interesting because she seems to have a very organized manner of thinking. She read the letters to WELCOME on Miss Adkins door yesterday which really floored Miss Adkins. It made me proud - in a sinful way. :) I am trying to get her a little more independent - dressing on her own, asking her to help clean-up, etc. She just seems to be physically less capable than Sadie and Ethan at this age, but Sadie was so advanced, that I know it is not a fair comparison. We saw Santa Claus at the mall yesterday. She may get it now. We don't make a big deal about Santa Claus, but a little trip doesn't hurt. She ask for two fishes (what??!?!?) and after prodding fro Sadie asked for a Dora Kitchen. I know for a fact, she is not getting either. So, we'll see what happens on Christmas morning. Actually, now that I think about it. I don't think the kids are getting anything or very little of what they asked for as it was mainly contrived from the junk they saw advertised on tv. Mommy and Daddy know best.
Ethan has been my little encourager this month. He tells me all the time how much he appreciates me. He also said that he was trying very hard not to think about the presents, but it was really hard. DId you have a hard time with that, Mom? he asks. Very sweet. His school work is excellent and I am pleased with all of his progress.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Oh my heart breaks for Sadie. She can be such a mean-spirited girl because she cannot get her emotions under control. I am so afraid that she will have to learn the hard way and that other won't be her friend because of her choice of words. She got jealous that another girl in her class lost a tooth and actually pulled the tooth herself. So, Sadie said to her, "I don't care and your breath stinks!" Sigh. I made her write an apology note. She seems genuinely concerned and has made an effort to try harder the past two days. I just don't know how you teach these character issues. Aren't some of these just innate?
Friday, November 02, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
Seriously can not believe it has been two months since my last blog. So many things to write about!
My emotional state: very, very good. Am I really writing that? Things really changed for me on Ansley's birthday. We did a scrapbook event to raise money for breast cancer on her birthday. The mere details of how that all worked and how it landed on Ansley's birthday was nothing short of a God thing. Colby and Gray came to work on their books. Gray left early, but Colby decided to make a day of it. It felt so awesome to have this time with him. He has Ansley's gift of design and made pages that were better than some adults! He loved it, I loved it, I loved him being there. It was just like having a bit of Ansley there. It was priceless for me and gave me a hope that I haven't felt since her death. I haven't cried this week - no, I take that back. I did cry early on Monday. Anyway, the writing of the above has made me quite emotional.
Still very worried about Graylyn. She is not herself. Very sad in my opinion. Doesn't know how to just be herself, but seems to try to act how she thinks would make people like her. She needs her dad, but he is not available. I can't write the details of that situation as it is now a personal promise not to get involved or in the know of that situation. The more I dwell, the more involved I become, the more angry and upset I become. So, I don't go there.
Lily has started singing. Since she still has many speech impediments, it often cracks me up. Instead of saying Lord, she says Wo-rd. very cute. She has gotten quite bossy and sassy. She will fold her hands and stomp her feet. She throws herself down for attention. So much of it is drama and for affect. She has started fighting me about the potty. She poops almost all the time in her panties which just makes me boil. She does pretty good when we are out, but by the end of the day she just gives up and just pees everywhere. It really makes me angry. I don't know what to do about it as we take things away, spank, time-out, etc. Nothing seems to work. It is very frustrating. She is doing well at school. But, by far music is her favorite. She asks everyday if she gets to go to music. One day I showed up to help with lunch and she told me point blank to "leave, Mommy, Go away." On the other hand, she had a complete meltdown the other night when Jay and I had to go to a funeral and Grammy was here when she woke-up from a nap. She totally freaked and was like that for about an hour. Mom ended up calling me. she said that Lily looked up at her with those big tears and it reminded her and looked just like me at that age. Lily got her first inch cut off her hair. I forgot picture day and she wore a track suit. Ugh. Can say the most grown-up things, yet, still such a little girl. Uh-oh, I just heard Jay going after Lily. She can be such a tantrum thrower! I can't wait for her to get past this stage, or rather US get her past this stage.
Sadie is doing better and better with school and behavior. Her teacher said she is so very smart, but we have to continue to work on impulsive behavior, etc. Miss Adkins said that she loves having Sadie in her class - I think she brings a lot of funny antics and laughter. In our conference with Miss Adkins, Jay felt that he was now his parents in a conference about himself. Sadie is so much like him. She has a very grown-up side to herself and a very responsible side which is a so contrary to the impulsive and out of control Sadie. She still gravitates to older friends. I think she doesn't feel competition with them. We are working on getting her to recognize when she feels out of control - when her environment is too much to handle, when she is tired, etc. If she can verbalize this feeling, then we can get her to a quiet place, a place to get herself refueled. We accomplished this twice during the BBQ festival. I was thrilled. It was sensory overload for her and she did quite well. One time I had to put her in timeout and when I told her she could come out, she decided she still needed some time to herself. She wasn't mopey about it - she just knew she needed some more downtime. I know now how to recognize that behavior and what to do - get her to herself. The book, Raising a Spirited Child, has been so helpful and insightful. Sadie is a natural born leader and thinker. She is destined for amazing things. I can't wait to see God work in her and she how she becomes His princess.
A cute comment she made to Karen while being brought home:
Karen: So, Sadie what time is your bedtime?
Sadie: In about 2 minutes.
Karen (looking at car clock which says 7:10 pm). When?
Sadie: In about 2 minutes, but sometimes 5
Karen said she kept cracking up over that little conversation. Cracks me up - I mean HOW many times have I said, "We are going up to bed in about 2 minutes."
Ethan had the best report card EVER. I don't know what happened over the summer, but his attention span and his ability to stay focused seemed to have just arrived. I let him have four friends over. They are a great group of little boys. However, Ethan just seems to have such high expectations of his friends sometimes. He expects them to do everything he wants to do and of course that is not always the case. He also got a little snippy with me over some decisions I made about what they could and couldn't do. I wanted to send everyone home at one point as Ethan began to let his emotions get the best of him (the usual tears and then the subsequent embarrassment over the tears).
So much more to write, but time is short these days.
My emotional state: very, very good. Am I really writing that? Things really changed for me on Ansley's birthday. We did a scrapbook event to raise money for breast cancer on her birthday. The mere details of how that all worked and how it landed on Ansley's birthday was nothing short of a God thing. Colby and Gray came to work on their books. Gray left early, but Colby decided to make a day of it. It felt so awesome to have this time with him. He has Ansley's gift of design and made pages that were better than some adults! He loved it, I loved it, I loved him being there. It was just like having a bit of Ansley there. It was priceless for me and gave me a hope that I haven't felt since her death. I haven't cried this week - no, I take that back. I did cry early on Monday. Anyway, the writing of the above has made me quite emotional.
Still very worried about Graylyn. She is not herself. Very sad in my opinion. Doesn't know how to just be herself, but seems to try to act how she thinks would make people like her. She needs her dad, but he is not available. I can't write the details of that situation as it is now a personal promise not to get involved or in the know of that situation. The more I dwell, the more involved I become, the more angry and upset I become. So, I don't go there.
Lily has started singing. Since she still has many speech impediments, it often cracks me up. Instead of saying Lord, she says Wo-rd. very cute. She has gotten quite bossy and sassy. She will fold her hands and stomp her feet. She throws herself down for attention. So much of it is drama and for affect. She has started fighting me about the potty. She poops almost all the time in her panties which just makes me boil. She does pretty good when we are out, but by the end of the day she just gives up and just pees everywhere. It really makes me angry. I don't know what to do about it as we take things away, spank, time-out, etc. Nothing seems to work. It is very frustrating. She is doing well at school. But, by far music is her favorite. She asks everyday if she gets to go to music. One day I showed up to help with lunch and she told me point blank to "leave, Mommy, Go away." On the other hand, she had a complete meltdown the other night when Jay and I had to go to a funeral and Grammy was here when she woke-up from a nap. She totally freaked and was like that for about an hour. Mom ended up calling me. she said that Lily looked up at her with those big tears and it reminded her and looked just like me at that age. Lily got her first inch cut off her hair. I forgot picture day and she wore a track suit. Ugh. Can say the most grown-up things, yet, still such a little girl. Uh-oh, I just heard Jay going after Lily. She can be such a tantrum thrower! I can't wait for her to get past this stage, or rather US get her past this stage.
Sadie is doing better and better with school and behavior. Her teacher said she is so very smart, but we have to continue to work on impulsive behavior, etc. Miss Adkins said that she loves having Sadie in her class - I think she brings a lot of funny antics and laughter. In our conference with Miss Adkins, Jay felt that he was now his parents in a conference about himself. Sadie is so much like him. She has a very grown-up side to herself and a very responsible side which is a so contrary to the impulsive and out of control Sadie. She still gravitates to older friends. I think she doesn't feel competition with them. We are working on getting her to recognize when she feels out of control - when her environment is too much to handle, when she is tired, etc. If she can verbalize this feeling, then we can get her to a quiet place, a place to get herself refueled. We accomplished this twice during the BBQ festival. I was thrilled. It was sensory overload for her and she did quite well. One time I had to put her in timeout and when I told her she could come out, she decided she still needed some time to herself. She wasn't mopey about it - she just knew she needed some more downtime. I know now how to recognize that behavior and what to do - get her to herself. The book, Raising a Spirited Child, has been so helpful and insightful. Sadie is a natural born leader and thinker. She is destined for amazing things. I can't wait to see God work in her and she how she becomes His princess.
A cute comment she made to Karen while being brought home:
Karen: So, Sadie what time is your bedtime?
Sadie: In about 2 minutes.
Karen (looking at car clock which says 7:10 pm). When?
Sadie: In about 2 minutes, but sometimes 5
Karen said she kept cracking up over that little conversation. Cracks me up - I mean HOW many times have I said, "We are going up to bed in about 2 minutes."
Ethan had the best report card EVER. I don't know what happened over the summer, but his attention span and his ability to stay focused seemed to have just arrived. I let him have four friends over. They are a great group of little boys. However, Ethan just seems to have such high expectations of his friends sometimes. He expects them to do everything he wants to do and of course that is not always the case. He also got a little snippy with me over some decisions I made about what they could and couldn't do. I wanted to send everyone home at one point as Ethan began to let his emotions get the best of him (the usual tears and then the subsequent embarrassment over the tears).
So much more to write, but time is short these days.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Wednesday, September, 5, 2007
Here is the email I sent today to the kids' teachers:
Just wanted to fill you in on what is going on in our house over the next month. The bad news is that we sprung a major leak from our dishwasher over Labor Day. The insurance claims people came out today and basically, we will have to move out of our house for two weeks starting Monday. We have hardwood flooring on our entire first floor and what doesn't have to be replaced has to be sanded and refinished. The company hired by the insurance company to do the repairs does everything - move the furniture, tape everything down, clean the house, replace and paint the shoe molding, etc. We even get hotel rooms and some food paid for. (I am trying to look on the bright side of a big mess).
Our plan right now is to try to make it in our basement at least for part of the time. We cannot find hotel rooms as everything convenient is already booked with market people. My brother and family are at my mom's (they are missionaries in Asia) for a few more weeks. But, thankfully, my dad has given us the green light to bunk at his house if needed. We were planning on staying in our basement during furniture market anyway so this just pushes us up a few weeks (we still had some unfinished projects, but nothing major). We will get back into the main part of the house for a week and then head back down to the basement for market. We sound like moles!
So, why am I telling you all of this? Because life is beginning to get quite stressful and a little hairy. When that happens, I tend to forget things I normally wouldn't (at least that was my experience last year). Additionally, sleep patterns may be a little off for the kids, lunches may be bizarre and books left at home. Sadie tends not to do as well when schedules are disrupted. It is nothing drastic, but change takes a while for her. I hope that doesn't happen, but I just don't know if I will have any hair left on my head after this is all over. Please do not hesitate to call me if I have missed anything, forgotten anything. I can always run back up to the school. It goes without saying that my mobile phone will be the best way to reach me!
I know this may sound strange, but this actually is a huge blessing. The hardwood floors had some problems and we were actually talking about what to do about them. We came to the conclusion that we just didn't have the money for it and probably wouldn't for a while. I couldn't imagine the mess nor dealing with all the furniture. God took care of it all, even though I don't quite understand the timing!
---------------------------------------
I'll post the details later, although I don't know if I have the strength! :)
One little note - I painted Lily's toes this morning. It was so cute and she was beside herself. She said to me: My toes are pretty. I like this two, too.
She proceeded to talk like this the remainder of the time. I wrote the word "two" to denote the sound of what she said. It is all a grammatical deal here - really cute at the way she is thinking through her words.
Grammatically correct: One toe, two toes
Lily grammar: One two, two toes
Gosh, I hope that makes sense when I read it in a couple of years!
Just wanted to fill you in on what is going on in our house over the next month. The bad news is that we sprung a major leak from our dishwasher over Labor Day. The insurance claims people came out today and basically, we will have to move out of our house for two weeks starting Monday. We have hardwood flooring on our entire first floor and what doesn't have to be replaced has to be sanded and refinished. The company hired by the insurance company to do the repairs does everything - move the furniture, tape everything down, clean the house, replace and paint the shoe molding, etc. We even get hotel rooms and some food paid for. (I am trying to look on the bright side of a big mess).
Our plan right now is to try to make it in our basement at least for part of the time. We cannot find hotel rooms as everything convenient is already booked with market people. My brother and family are at my mom's (they are missionaries in Asia) for a few more weeks. But, thankfully, my dad has given us the green light to bunk at his house if needed. We were planning on staying in our basement during furniture market anyway so this just pushes us up a few weeks (we still had some unfinished projects, but nothing major). We will get back into the main part of the house for a week and then head back down to the basement for market. We sound like moles!
So, why am I telling you all of this? Because life is beginning to get quite stressful and a little hairy. When that happens, I tend to forget things I normally wouldn't (at least that was my experience last year). Additionally, sleep patterns may be a little off for the kids, lunches may be bizarre and books left at home. Sadie tends not to do as well when schedules are disrupted. It is nothing drastic, but change takes a while for her. I hope that doesn't happen, but I just don't know if I will have any hair left on my head after this is all over. Please do not hesitate to call me if I have missed anything, forgotten anything. I can always run back up to the school. It goes without saying that my mobile phone will be the best way to reach me!
I know this may sound strange, but this actually is a huge blessing. The hardwood floors had some problems and we were actually talking about what to do about them. We came to the conclusion that we just didn't have the money for it and probably wouldn't for a while. I couldn't imagine the mess nor dealing with all the furniture. God took care of it all, even though I don't quite understand the timing!
---------------------------------------
I'll post the details later, although I don't know if I have the strength! :)
One little note - I painted Lily's toes this morning. It was so cute and she was beside herself. She said to me: My toes are pretty. I like this two, too.
She proceeded to talk like this the remainder of the time. I wrote the word "two" to denote the sound of what she said. It is all a grammatical deal here - really cute at the way she is thinking through her words.
Grammatically correct: One toe, two toes
Lily grammar: One two, two toes
Gosh, I hope that makes sense when I read it in a couple of years!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
We have finally gotten around to painting Ethan's new shelving system. Jay designed it to look like trees - it is pretty cool. As I was painting the first brown coat, I notice something Ethan had written on the wood. We had given him permission to write on it BEFORE we painted it. He hadn't really done much, but this brought major tears. I just sat down and cried. It said, "I love mamy" It was so sweet, so endearing, so painful, too. Mamy was Ansley and he misses her so much. It almost seems that he mentions her on a daily basis. It is so sad. It seems his grief is worse now that earlier. I feel the same way, actually.
I finally went to the doctor for these random aches, sore throat, etc. that I have been having over the past several months. Nothing showed up in the blood work - although we are still waiting on thyrhoid. I really didn't expect them to find anything as I suspect it is all results of stress and grief. The best relief is sleep. I slept 12 hours two days ago. I felt great afterwards. Today, I suspect it won't be so good as I only got 7 hours - Lily woke up at 5 for some strange reason. She is moving away from naps (CRAZY!) so I think her whole schedule is off. Not too happy about the nap situation, as Sadie and Ethan still took naps in kindergarten - Sadie still needs them every once in a while. Maybe this is just a phase.
Market is early this year - end of September - October. Still have so much to do to get ready for it. Painting is number one. UGH! I hope next week I can start getting a handle on things.
For the most part, this is a boring blog. So, I will end. Watching Cayden today. He and Lily play so well together. I love hearing their little conversations. However, I won't drop him off until it is time to pick up the kids. We will probably go out for a few errands, just for a break from the house. Definitely too hot to play outside - still in the 90s!
I finally went to the doctor for these random aches, sore throat, etc. that I have been having over the past several months. Nothing showed up in the blood work - although we are still waiting on thyrhoid. I really didn't expect them to find anything as I suspect it is all results of stress and grief. The best relief is sleep. I slept 12 hours two days ago. I felt great afterwards. Today, I suspect it won't be so good as I only got 7 hours - Lily woke up at 5 for some strange reason. She is moving away from naps (CRAZY!) so I think her whole schedule is off. Not too happy about the nap situation, as Sadie and Ethan still took naps in kindergarten - Sadie still needs them every once in a while. Maybe this is just a phase.
Market is early this year - end of September - October. Still have so much to do to get ready for it. Painting is number one. UGH! I hope next week I can start getting a handle on things.
For the most part, this is a boring blog. So, I will end. Watching Cayden today. He and Lily play so well together. I love hearing their little conversations. However, I won't drop him off until it is time to pick up the kids. We will probably go out for a few errands, just for a break from the house. Definitely too hot to play outside - still in the 90s!
Friday, August 17, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL YESTERDAY!
Lily: About 10x during the day - Where Buddy and Sadie? Happy, but a little lost. Missed them.
Ethan: Great day. Happy, Content. Loves Mrs. Kellum. First time that he told me a lot of details about his day. Got as many chances as needed on the Buzz game (?), Got to put in two marbles in the good marble jar (one for being still). Got two books from the library. Finished the Star Wars book in 15 minutes in his room after school. Good job, Ethan!
Sadie: LOVED IT! I was so happy to see her when I picked her up. Her favorite part was rest time which absolutely blew me away! She loved it because she got to look at books and Ms. Adkins rubbed her back. Also told me everything - lunch, media (thrilled she got a book), coloring, playing, etc. She gets to go to the treasure chest of Friday and if she gets 5 stickers in a row, she gets to bring in show and tell (her all-time favorite thing to do). SHE WAS BEAMING when I picked her up. It was great! She fell asleep on the living room sofa around 4 - she was just worn out!
OT: Sadie has been asking for several nights now to read her bible, "I want to read about God." Finally some progress in this area!
Mommy: Briefly sad about Sadie, but frankly, relieved that the summer was over. It was long and tough with too many spankings. This is going to be a great year, I can just feel it!
This morning, Jay took the kids (he will be doing more of this year as I don't have to go to the preschool every day). Jay told Sadie that this is the first day he was going to "drop them off". Sadie asked Ethan - Will you walk me into school? Ethan: Do you want me to walk you into school, or walk you to class? Sadie: Walk me to class because I don't know if I remember the way to go. Ethan: Ok, I'll take care of you. PRICELESS!
Lily: About 10x during the day - Where Buddy and Sadie? Happy, but a little lost. Missed them.
Ethan: Great day. Happy, Content. Loves Mrs. Kellum. First time that he told me a lot of details about his day. Got as many chances as needed on the Buzz game (?), Got to put in two marbles in the good marble jar (one for being still). Got two books from the library. Finished the Star Wars book in 15 minutes in his room after school. Good job, Ethan!
Sadie: LOVED IT! I was so happy to see her when I picked her up. Her favorite part was rest time which absolutely blew me away! She loved it because she got to look at books and Ms. Adkins rubbed her back. Also told me everything - lunch, media (thrilled she got a book), coloring, playing, etc. She gets to go to the treasure chest of Friday and if she gets 5 stickers in a row, she gets to bring in show and tell (her all-time favorite thing to do). SHE WAS BEAMING when I picked her up. It was great! She fell asleep on the living room sofa around 4 - she was just worn out!
OT: Sadie has been asking for several nights now to read her bible, "I want to read about God." Finally some progress in this area!
Mommy: Briefly sad about Sadie, but frankly, relieved that the summer was over. It was long and tough with too many spankings. This is going to be a great year, I can just feel it!
This morning, Jay took the kids (he will be doing more of this year as I don't have to go to the preschool every day). Jay told Sadie that this is the first day he was going to "drop them off". Sadie asked Ethan - Will you walk me into school? Ethan: Do you want me to walk you into school, or walk you to class? Sadie: Walk me to class because I don't know if I remember the way to go. Ethan: Ok, I'll take care of you. PRICELESS!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Friday, August 10 part 2
One more thing. At Mayberry's today, Lily started to pick her nose. I said, no, Lily, don't pick your nose. She looked at me and started tappig her nose as if something was wrong. She shoved her finger up her nose and I realized she might have some large piece of snot up there. So, I got a napkin, held it up to her face, closed the nostril that wasn't bothering her and told her to blow. She did and I saw something come out of her nose. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a bead!!!! A round pink bead. I have no idea how long it was there or how it got there!!! CRAZY. My kids are crazy. GOTTA LOVE IT!
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