I am, once again, sitting in bed typing on the laptop. One of God's greatest gifts to us, I think, is the gift of wireless! Just kidding. But, it does enable me to work and play - all from the comforts of my bed. Unfortunately, pain is still ruling my life these days. MRI was on Friday - results on Monday. Things were definitely worse on Saturday. One thing I have noted: Everyone seems to have a back pain/muscle pain story. That is good on one hand, but confusing. It seems this sort of pain can come from a variety of sources - bulging/herniated discs, muscle inflammation, and even tumors (I won't go there). Given that I have one bulging disc in my medical repertoire, I am inclined to go in that direction. Along with the varying back pain experiences I have been told come that many different remedies - epidurals, surgery, physical therapy, medications, steroid injections, chiropractors, Epsom salt baths, etc. I don't doubt they all work, but trying to sort it all, without a definite diagnosis, has been an exercise in futility.
On Monday, I plan on going "all in" in this poker game of medical diagnosis. If they happen to tell me there is nothing on the MRI - well, I am broke. Right now, I want them to find something want. So, finding out what it is will be like winning the lottery. I want a definitive diagnosis so at least I can focus on getting well.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
RaRa Telecom Supply - Day 1
Today is the day! Our first day in business!
Check out the website:
www.raratel.com
Jay did it all and I have to say - it is pretty impressive!
Pain still searing in the leg - MRI tomorrow.
First day...lots to do. I'll post more soon!
Check out the website:
www.raratel.com
Jay did it all and I have to say - it is pretty impressive!
Pain still searing in the leg - MRI tomorrow.
First day...lots to do. I'll post more soon!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tuesday, April 28, 2008
A new little person arrived in this world today! I have a new nephew - John Zebulon Greene, V. He will be called Zeb. I just love that. Praise to God for a healthy baby and delivery in Thailand!
I am still nursing my aches and pains. I had an x-ray done yesterday (although I am not sure why). After finding nothing, I am sure, the next plan is an MRI. I wait for the call from the doctor. I am unable to sit up for more than a couple of minutes, therefore, I cannot drive. Jay took the kids to school today. This is getting old.
One positive...I had a wonderful hydrocodone slumber last night.
I am still nursing my aches and pains. I had an x-ray done yesterday (although I am not sure why). After finding nothing, I am sure, the next plan is an MRI. I wait for the call from the doctor. I am unable to sit up for more than a couple of minutes, therefore, I cannot drive. Jay took the kids to school today. This is getting old.
One positive...I had a wonderful hydrocodone slumber last night.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Pain in the rear
The title of this post says it all. I have the most intolerable pain in my rear which runs down the back and side of my thigh. I feel the most pain when I am sitting up - like when driving or working at a desk on my computer. In order to write this post, I am reclining on my bed while sitting on an ice pack (how lovely). This pain has been going on for well over a week but in the last couple of days has increased dramatically. I went to the doctor yesterday and was given some anti-inflammatory stuff and some pain meds. I really thought I would see a vast improvement today. Nope. I drove Ethan and Sadie to the barn this morning (all of a mile from the house) and by the time I got home was ready to slap someone silly.
I did what every person does these days when they have any sort of pain. I consulted the internet. Seems it may or may not be sciatic nerve stuff, a bulging disc or a muscular issue resulting with nerve pain. No duh. However, what scared me the most was that some of these people were talking about 3 years with this kind of pain. What?!?!?!
So, here I lay. It is a beautiful, beautiful day to be outside working on our garden, playing with the kids, even getting out the sprinkler. Instead, I am a slave to my bed, slave to my house, slave to the whims of Jay who needs me with only 5 days to RaRa launch. Someone help me...
I did what every person does these days when they have any sort of pain. I consulted the internet. Seems it may or may not be sciatic nerve stuff, a bulging disc or a muscular issue resulting with nerve pain. No duh. However, what scared me the most was that some of these people were talking about 3 years with this kind of pain. What?!?!?!
So, here I lay. It is a beautiful, beautiful day to be outside working on our garden, playing with the kids, even getting out the sprinkler. Instead, I am a slave to my bed, slave to my house, slave to the whims of Jay who needs me with only 5 days to RaRa launch. Someone help me...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
A ball of goo
I don't know what it is about this week. I have been an emotional ball of goo. I have cried at the drop of a hat, buckets, sobbing, little sniffles, even random tears. Sure, there is a lot on my plate...a lot of changes, but I am a little taken aback by it all. Maybe this is where is all started...
There was a great article in the paper on Sunday about a couple who has been married for 66 years (66 years!). The wife has been caring for her husband for the past 10 years because he has Alzheimer's. A few years ago, it was required that he be moved into a facility. Despite this, she spends 10-12 hours each day at his side taking care of his every need. She is there to dress him, feed him, take him to the bathroom, give him sips of water, but most importantly, she is there to hold his hand. That is their thing - hand holding. According to her, that is what they have always done. Last week, they renewed their vows at the care facility. Arranged by the staff there, they had a minister and even a small reception. It seemed that for a brief moment, her husband responded and smiled with a little yeah when asked if he would take his wife forever. The tears were plenty. I know, I was there. The story was about my grandparents.
Only a week later, my grandfather sits in ICU. His heart is getting weaker, prostate cancer has invaded his kidneys and the Alzheimer's progressing. I went to visit last night and as I walked into his room, there was my grandmother, doing what she has done for the past 66 years. She was sitting beside him holding his hand. My grandfather was asleep with the occasional moan or snore.
I sat down and we talked. I have, ashamedly, discounted the actions of my grandmother as a sign of weakness. Her lack of "a life", her incessant dedication to my grandfather, her inability to make long-term decisions regarding his care all seemed to be a deficiency in her mental capacity to accept reality and to strike a healthy balance. Her drive to keep him alive each and every day seemed to be a waste of the time God has given her on this earth. Shame on me.
What I learned from her was really one of God's lessons to us all. It was a lesson that God showed me many times in my journey with Ansley. I have followed this lesson for short periods of time and then my old always-be-prepared, controlling self would start creeping back in again. It is simple and it is her motto. "I just take it one day at a time," she says matter of factly. She doesn't think about the what ifs, the possibilities, or what the future holds. She simply waits for the situation to change before she processes it. Admittedly, she says she can't go there and she doesn't. She just loves my grandfather for what he is today.
My grandmother believes as I do, that God is completely in control and the he will take care of this entire situation - my grandfather's health, her health, his care, even my grandmother's grief when her companion of 66 years is gone. But she has successfully managed to work it out into her daily life. I have not.
There was a great article in the paper on Sunday about a couple who has been married for 66 years (66 years!). The wife has been caring for her husband for the past 10 years because he has Alzheimer's. A few years ago, it was required that he be moved into a facility. Despite this, she spends 10-12 hours each day at his side taking care of his every need. She is there to dress him, feed him, take him to the bathroom, give him sips of water, but most importantly, she is there to hold his hand. That is their thing - hand holding. According to her, that is what they have always done. Last week, they renewed their vows at the care facility. Arranged by the staff there, they had a minister and even a small reception. It seemed that for a brief moment, her husband responded and smiled with a little yeah when asked if he would take his wife forever. The tears were plenty. I know, I was there. The story was about my grandparents.
Only a week later, my grandfather sits in ICU. His heart is getting weaker, prostate cancer has invaded his kidneys and the Alzheimer's progressing. I went to visit last night and as I walked into his room, there was my grandmother, doing what she has done for the past 66 years. She was sitting beside him holding his hand. My grandfather was asleep with the occasional moan or snore.
I sat down and we talked. I have, ashamedly, discounted the actions of my grandmother as a sign of weakness. Her lack of "a life", her incessant dedication to my grandfather, her inability to make long-term decisions regarding his care all seemed to be a deficiency in her mental capacity to accept reality and to strike a healthy balance. Her drive to keep him alive each and every day seemed to be a waste of the time God has given her on this earth. Shame on me.
What I learned from her was really one of God's lessons to us all. It was a lesson that God showed me many times in my journey with Ansley. I have followed this lesson for short periods of time and then my old always-be-prepared, controlling self would start creeping back in again. It is simple and it is her motto. "I just take it one day at a time," she says matter of factly. She doesn't think about the what ifs, the possibilities, or what the future holds. She simply waits for the situation to change before she processes it. Admittedly, she says she can't go there and she doesn't. She just loves my grandfather for what he is today.
My grandmother believes as I do, that God is completely in control and the he will take care of this entire situation - my grandfather's health, her health, his care, even my grandmother's grief when her companion of 66 years is gone. But she has successfully managed to work it out into her daily life. I have not.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Wednesday, April 22, 2008
I had a wonderfully strange dream last night. The details are a little foggy, but what I do remember was fantastic! I was living life in a musical reality!
This all reminds me of a dear college roommate who's mom thought life would be so much better if it worked like a musical - people breaking out in song and dance at random moments of emotion. I have to agree.
The dream had to have come from a compilation of attending High School Musical and watching Andrew Lloyd Webber on American Idol last night. You know how these real life details morph themselves into a dream like the piecing together of a panoramic photo.
What would life be like if everyone sang in harmony and danced perfectly choreographed numbers? The aisles of the grocery store filled with ladies with dancing carts and smiling kids? Kids breaking out in song while they completed their assigned chores - with happy faces. Or worse, they break out in "It's A Hard Knocked Life" from the musical "Annie."
Well, maybe it is not such a good idea now that I think about it.
This all reminds me of a dear college roommate who's mom thought life would be so much better if it worked like a musical - people breaking out in song and dance at random moments of emotion. I have to agree.
The dream had to have come from a compilation of attending High School Musical and watching Andrew Lloyd Webber on American Idol last night. You know how these real life details morph themselves into a dream like the piecing together of a panoramic photo.
What would life be like if everyone sang in harmony and danced perfectly choreographed numbers? The aisles of the grocery store filled with ladies with dancing carts and smiling kids? Kids breaking out in song while they completed their assigned chores - with happy faces. Or worse, they break out in "It's A Hard Knocked Life" from the musical "Annie."
Well, maybe it is not such a good idea now that I think about it.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Encouragement
It was a plethora of love from Ethan tonight:
The phone rang:
Me: Hello...hello?
Ethan using a disguised voice: Hello, I am a billionaire and I want to give you a million dollars for being the best mommy in the world. Just kidding, this is Ethan, your son. (love the "your son" part)
As the lights were going down for bed time:
Ethan: Mommy, if you die, I'll die, too.
Me: No you won't.
Ethan: Yes, I will. I'll kill myself. I just want to always be with you.
Me: ETHAN! No! Remember God has a job for you to do. We don't talk like that. I understand what you mean, though.
Ethan: Mommy, I think you are doing God's job for you really great!
Be still my heart.
Ok, I'll admit it. His love might have been slightly exaggerated because Jay bought a Wii tonight sending him in to an atmospheric high. When I figure it out, I will post more on the Wii and why it was purchased at the end of a 6-month period of no income.
The phone rang:
Me: Hello...hello?
Ethan using a disguised voice: Hello, I am a billionaire and I want to give you a million dollars for being the best mommy in the world. Just kidding, this is Ethan, your son. (love the "your son" part)
As the lights were going down for bed time:
Ethan: Mommy, if you die, I'll die, too.
Me: No you won't.
Ethan: Yes, I will. I'll kill myself. I just want to always be with you.
Me: ETHAN! No! Remember God has a job for you to do. We don't talk like that. I understand what you mean, though.
Ethan: Mommy, I think you are doing God's job for you really great!
Be still my heart.
Ok, I'll admit it. His love might have been slightly exaggerated because Jay bought a Wii tonight sending him in to an atmospheric high. When I figure it out, I will post more on the Wii and why it was purchased at the end of a 6-month period of no income.
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