Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I have not slept well in several days.  By that, I mean only a couple of hours each night and those have been fitful.  I have had had 4 dreams in the past week that my children and/or I have been diagnosed with cancer. Throw in multiple conflicts, emotional spiraling, the loss of another one to cancer and that equals one very downtrodden person.  Make that depressed.  Never have I been so ready for Jesus to return.  I am tired of life on this earth.  I hate it.  I have failed, continued to fail, and I never seem to move past the same cycle of failure.  Retreat I must.  No words of encouragement here.  No signs of victory evident.  No shouting off the rooftops.  Just done. 


debi said...

you are loved

and its okay to be terribly sad sometimes

no way around it, only through it

i'm so sorry your heart is heavy

hope is on the way,

hang on

Heather Copps said...

Kelsey, It has been too long since we talked. I checked your blog on a whim today (rarely spend more than the required amount of email time on the computer). I am thinking of you and of so often of Ainsley. Release it all and focus on the gift of each day. Love, H (Fligte met mi naar de regenbou :)