Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy St. P Day! Actually, I could care less about it - I mean, I am not Irish - so why should I participate. I forgot to tell the kids. Sadie was spared the obligatory pinching, but Ethan was not so lucky. He was a little perturbed at me. Oops! I told him I would try to remember next year.

Lily was her usual bossy little self today. I found myself being the patient to her doctor late this morning. I was laying on her floor as she poked, prodded and gagged me. It was delightful. I got the biggest kick out of realizing that underneath her doctor smock, she had on no panties. As she bent over to shove the thermometer in my mouth, I was a little startled and started laughing. I couldn't help it - I had forgotten to get her a new pair right after she went potty - obviously, she didn't care.

We dyed Easter eggs Saturday night. What fun! It was nice to only have that overwhelming feeling right at the start - everyone excited, materials not quite ready, hands reaching and grabbing, boiled eggs being held too tightly or dropped on the table, etc. Everyone settled down and got busy. Even Lily took her time and enjoyed it. We all got 4 eggs - Jay did 2. Sunday, I made egg salad which no one will probably eat! Sadie liked dying the tops and bottoms different colors. Ethan liked writing things on his eggs. Lily liked using the q-tips and coloring her egg with it - made an attempt at writing her name, too. We had an egg hunt at church after KidsStuff - They LOVED it. It was great - no one grabbed, no one panicked and even Lily loved it. All day today she was opening up her eggs to reveal the hidden treasures. I can't imagine how much candy she actually consumed!

We had family time dinner tonight- the kids ate like little piglets. They kept thanking me for the dinner which made me feel so good. Sadie's has really started turning out the prayers - really heart-felt stuff. It makes me feel that she is growing in her faith. It is great. She told Lily that she needed to be nice to people or else they wouldn't want to be her friend. Maybe some of this is becoming apparent to her (Sadie) - realized, known, and most importantly experienced. She surprised me greatly this weekend on two occasions - she really thought about someone else before herself. It was great to witness. I took her aside on Saturday and spent some special time with just her, telling her how proud I was of her - how I could see her changes and effort. She beamed. We took a great little snuggly nap together. So sweet. She has wanted me to fix her hair lately - pigtails. Another wonderful event because it shows that she wants to present herself as maybe a little more polished. I want to be careful to not to promote beauty, but promote taking care of yourself.

And, maybe most interesting...she ROCKED on Saturday at the last Upwards basketball game. I couldn't believe the improvement. First, I was talking with another mom and I started hearing parents cheering - someone said, "Go Sadie!" I looked up and there she was hovering over Hunter Gines (a boy in her class). She would not let him get past her with the ball - she was all over him. It was a shining moment in what I could see could be a long career in sports. She continued to play strong defense and attempted to make 4 baskets, made several assists ALL while being the ONLY girl on the floor. At the after game meeting, Coach Blackburn told Sadie it was THE play of the season! She got the Christ-like award and the defensive player award. WAY TO GO SADIE! You are fearless!

As I write this about her, my heart is so heavy. Painful - pity - I don't know how else to describe my feelings about Gray. There is a little girl whose years are lost - the days are not marked with milestones. No one is writing down her accomplishments. No one is teaching her about finding her worth in Christ. No one is giving her the attention in her life that makes her feel secure or helps her to know that she is so incredibly loved. Well, at least no one in her immediate zone. I don't know how to help them. I don't know how to save them. I wish more than anything that their situation were different. My God - why do you allow this to happen to your children. I know the answer, God, I do. I trust that You will bring them out of this, that these experiences will bring them to a deeper reliance on You.

My heart is no longer filled with anger or bitterness. Instead it is pity and sorrow. The brokenness that is sure to come will be heavy and painful. I brace myself for it as I know that those around will feel the affects.

I must move on.

Sunday, Lily had her hair in braids - so incredibly cute with those glasses. She had on a dress with a red cardigan, white socks and red Mary Janes. She just be-bopped herself around showing off her braids (which were quite long). I could have just GOBBLED her up. When we arrived at KidsStuff- she just RAN into the show and started dancing, jumping and singing. Everyone around me (Debbie Cooper and Beth) just started laughing - we couldn't help it - it was just so darn CUTE!

Ethan had a great long weekend. He went to the barn to work on Thurs afternoon. I think he is itching to ride - maybe this week. He spent Friday morning with the Silver's at Peyton Fowler's grandfather's farm. He played hard - riding bikes, playing with a donkey and all sorts of other things. Then, Colby came over. They had such a SWEET time together. I love watching them play. They made a fort in the front circle - complete with tarp, sticks, blanket and Ethan said, an Activity Center. Colby even wrote down some rules (horribly misspelled, but readable). At one point I saw them with their shirts off on the trampoline. I just wish they had more time like that together. They played Star Wars Lego, checked out some I Spy books together...Ethan was in heaven.