As I sit here documenting our summer and changes in the kids, I am blown away with how fast time is going by. I look at Lily and she is truly no longer a baby. She is still very happy and just a delight to be around. She throws up her hand and says in a very southern way - "Heeeeyyyyy" to just about everyone. Some of her more recent phrases include seyatoon (see you soon) - so cute. She is such a little chatter box. She knows a few colors - blue, red, green, the number 9 (a little bizarre), the letter D and O. She will sit on the potty for a long, long time (1-2 hours), but not do anything. She thinks she is going potty which is cute. She asks to go right after she has done it. So, I know we are getting close to starting. I kinda of dread it, but know that once it is all done, it will be great not carrying any sort of diaper bag around. But that means she has truly grown up, too. I need to get that photo of her pointing to all of her body parts like I did Ethan and Sadie. She certainly knows them. She is completely into Dora now after a good stint with Barney (still loves him). She tries to sing the song - d-d-d-d dora. She loves to dance and move her body to music. Ethan is officially called Buddy - I LOVE IT! What a sweet thing to have a special name. It is only fitting because Ethan is the one who calls Ansley, "maimie". I am not really sure how to spell that correctly because it is not mamie like in Gone with the Wind. She sometimes calls Mom, Mimi and Colby, Beebee. She loves, loves, loves Henny and he always says that he would give her the world. Speaking of, we asked Henry if he would be the next in line to take the kids if something were to happen to us. After mom and john and oma and opa, we have to have another person and really Henry is the one. In ten years, he might be listed first based on the health of our parents. Thankfully, the children should be well taken care of financially (life insurance and sale of our assets) so that should not be a concern, but it felt good to ask him and I feel great with that decision.
I am listening to Ethan singing to a great Christian song. So sweet.
Ethan has had a good summer. He lost two teeth in June (actually one at the beginning of June and one at the end of June. It is the two bottom ones and I love his look without the teeth. None of the other ones seem loose so we will wait. He really loved having Jay pull them - it was that mix between anticipation, excitement and a little fear. He went to several camps this summer - music camp at church, tennis camp, and horse camp. He also had horse lessons each week this summer. At the end of the summer he was able to walk, trot and cantor by himself. He also made a small, small jump. He loves riding Pegasus and I think it might be something he continues to do in the future. It is good for focusing, too. We still have issues in that area. He has trouble following multiple step tasks that I ask him to do. He can't comprehend everything I say and seems to hear every other word - much like his daddy. That can be a little frustrating for us both. I heard some improvement in his reading last night. It is still a struggle, but I finally heard him get the words: what, now, something, and down. However, he still can't get car. I need to do some work on rhyming words with him. I think that will help.
Ethan has also started to not want to kiss me in public. This happened when I dropped him off at horse camp this Thursday (august 9). He kind of looked around to make sure no one was watching and gave me this quick kiss on the cheek. He told me later it was "embarrassing." I was completely taken aback. Who does he think he is to make that decision!!! :) I had some cute conversations with him in that same week. He is my stinky-foot, horse-smelling, skittles smelling boy. He loved that! He also told me (despite the changes in public displays of affection) that his favorite thing in the whole world is to snuggle with me. Still me sweetie.
Sadie has had a difficult summer. I thought we had made some break throughs, but she has such a difficult time controlling her emotions, needs, wants, etc. The worst of this summer was this past week. It is my problem, not hers. I left her, accidentally, at home. With all of the hub-bub of getting in the car, and everything I had to carry to the car as well, I thought she was in the car. I dropped Ethan off at horse lessons and was heading into High Point and realized she wasn't in the car. It was the worst feeling I have ever felt. Meanwhile, Angie happened to call my house and somehow Sadie picked up the phone and was able to talk with her. Angie calmed her down and told her she was on her way. Then, Angie called me and I told her I was already almost home. I was absolutely in a panic. My poor, poor Sadie. I feared for her, I was scared for her, I cried for her. When I arrived home, she had turned on the t.v. and was at the phone where Miss Angie was leaving her another message. Her eyes were swollen from crying. I just held her and cried with her and told her over and over how sorry I was and asked her to forgive me. She said she wasn't mad, but sad. She said she prayed to God to bring me back to her. She said she turned on the television and there was a guy singing about smiling which helped her calm down. She said she knew it was an accident and that she knew I would come back. I thought she was very brave and very mature in her handling of what had happened. It taught me to value her and to love her more and more. I look at her and she frustrates me so much that I realized that I have to slow down in order to focus on her in a way that is effective. Oh - two cute things she has said. She was showing Graylyn her diary and said, "Graylyn, this is my diarrhea." Also she just asked to pain on the weasel (not easel).
We have finally gotten out the behavior charts (if-then and blessings). The kids seem pretty excited about them and I have found some other ways of creative discipline. Like, I have Ethan run around the outside of the house when he is out of control physically and can't focus. It has been a great deterrent. I need to set up the posters, and go over them at length with the kids.
I have had a difficult couple of weeks. The emotions were out of control. I have made a concerted effort to take Zoloft each morning. We are on day 3. I think I will see some results in two weeks. I just can't talk to anyone any more without getting criticized for my reaction. I know I release my hurt as anger and people don't understand that. However, every time I expose myself, it comes back to hurt more! I must pay, pray, pray for changes!!!
Ok - So the bonus room is completely out of control. I must get a handle on the mess with the kids!