Lily discovered the Sunday comic section at my mother's house this weekend. Slightly obsessed, she carried it into the car, into the restaurant, into her bed. The next morning I caught her "reading the paper" on the front porch while she waited for our carpool. She looked like a little grown-up.
I just checked my voice mail and there was a message from Sadie. She attempted to disguise her voice as deeper and more sophisticated. Always a hoot to hear what she thinks is a professional voice and what she decides to say. This time she was someone from the children's book store calling for me. I must call her back, her message said and she included a fake number, too.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Today, after school, we went to the half-priced book fair held in the school library. I sent the girls on ahead of me while I waited for Ethan. I had already informed them there would be no buying "trinkedy-dinkedies" as well call them around here. That is code for the pencils, erasers, pointy fingers, lip gloss, etc. that all stores try to get you to "add on." You know, what's another 50 cents or dollar? By sending the girls on ahead, they were to have their selections done so that we would only be waiting around for Ethan. I didn't have much hope in what they would pick, but thought maybe one book would pass the litmus test.
However, sometimes a mom can be pleasantly surprised! Sadie picked out two fantastic chapter books, including a book we had mentioned earlier that day, A Crooked Kind of Perfect, and a biography. The picture of legs and feet covered in toe socks sealed the deal on that book. Lily had one great book and one so-so dinky book. We replaced it with a Geronimo Stilton book and she was content. Ethan picked out two great chapter books, one is historical! We picked up a couple more books since it was a buy-one, get-one free sale and headed out the door. This is our summer reading. I have found that library books are often late in the summer due to travel and often not read. This system works like a charm for us. The entire process of purchasing was completely painless, no whining (well, slightly from Lily about that dinky book), it didn't take very long and we were out the door.
The ride home was precious. Each child was immersed in his/her book of choice. It was quiet and lovely. Later that afternoon, I was looking for Ethan and Sadie who seemed to have disappeared. I looked out the back window and there they were, lying on a blanket, reading their new books. Actually, Sadie was reading a book she began a couple of days ago. Either way...fantastic! The afternoon was so peaceful. Lily stayed on the sofa in the kitchen to read her book, which she finished! No arguments, no loud brain-reducing television, no issues. Jay arrived home from work early to find them reading on a blanket. I could see his smile from the kitchen window. I must remember this moment and make sure it is not the last one of its kind.
Here are the books the children selected:
Ethan:
Escape: Children of the Holocaust by Allan Zullo
The Hunter Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (the second book in the series)
The Strange Case of Origami Yoda by Tom Angleberger
Sadie:
Miss Spitfire, Reaching Helen Keller by Sarah Miller
A Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban
Ruby's Slippers by Tricia Rayburn
Piper Reed, Navy Brat by Christine Davenier
Lily:
Best Friends in Fairyland by Daisy Meadows (already finished)
Pink Princess Rules the School by Alyssa Crowe
Weird Stores from the Lonesome Cafe by Judy Cox
The Karate Mouse by Geronimo Stilton (I think that is the author's name as well as the main character in the book)
I also picked up The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary and Flawed Dogs by Berkeley Breathed. I'll admit the funny looking dachshund on the cover prompted me to purchase latter of the two books. I am such a sucker for books.
I have a couple of book sales I want to attend this May, so hopefully, I can get some deals on historical books that cover the first historical period, our focus next year in homeschool.
However, sometimes a mom can be pleasantly surprised! Sadie picked out two fantastic chapter books, including a book we had mentioned earlier that day, A Crooked Kind of Perfect, and a biography. The picture of legs and feet covered in toe socks sealed the deal on that book. Lily had one great book and one so-so dinky book. We replaced it with a Geronimo Stilton book and she was content. Ethan picked out two great chapter books, one is historical! We picked up a couple more books since it was a buy-one, get-one free sale and headed out the door. This is our summer reading. I have found that library books are often late in the summer due to travel and often not read. This system works like a charm for us. The entire process of purchasing was completely painless, no whining (well, slightly from Lily about that dinky book), it didn't take very long and we were out the door.
The ride home was precious. Each child was immersed in his/her book of choice. It was quiet and lovely. Later that afternoon, I was looking for Ethan and Sadie who seemed to have disappeared. I looked out the back window and there they were, lying on a blanket, reading their new books. Actually, Sadie was reading a book she began a couple of days ago. Either way...fantastic! The afternoon was so peaceful. Lily stayed on the sofa in the kitchen to read her book, which she finished! No arguments, no loud brain-reducing television, no issues. Jay arrived home from work early to find them reading on a blanket. I could see his smile from the kitchen window. I must remember this moment and make sure it is not the last one of its kind.
Here are the books the children selected:
Ethan:
Escape: Children of the Holocaust by Allan Zullo
The Hunter Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (the second book in the series)
The Strange Case of Origami Yoda by Tom Angleberger
Sadie:
Miss Spitfire, Reaching Helen Keller by Sarah Miller
A Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban
Ruby's Slippers by Tricia Rayburn
Piper Reed, Navy Brat by Christine Davenier
Lily:
Best Friends in Fairyland by Daisy Meadows (already finished)
Pink Princess Rules the School by Alyssa Crowe
Weird Stores from the Lonesome Cafe by Judy Cox
The Karate Mouse by Geronimo Stilton (I think that is the author's name as well as the main character in the book)
I also picked up The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary and Flawed Dogs by Berkeley Breathed. I'll admit the funny looking dachshund on the cover prompted me to purchase latter of the two books. I am such a sucker for books.
I have a couple of book sales I want to attend this May, so hopefully, I can get some deals on historical books that cover the first historical period, our focus next year in homeschool.
Friday, May 06, 2011
There are moments as a mother that I want to capture for the remainder of my part in this life. They represent success, at least defined by what I pray and hope for my children. They are the chunks I hold onto when the going gets tough and I think everything I do is a failure. Here is one of them:
There is a boy in Ethan's grade who has always struggled with behavior and getting along with other children. I don't know his full story as we have not been in his class until this year. However, his reputation as a big problem in the classroom did preceed him. Somewhere along the holidays, this boy decided that he was tired of always being in trouble, ready to change his reputation and learn to be friends with his classmates. He wanted a complete "do-over." Therefore he chose to stand in front of the entire grade and ask for their forgiveness and ask for them to allow him to start again. Just typing this portion of the story brings me to tears. What a brave, brave young man.
The teachers knew of his plan, but they were very nervous of the reaction of some 50 other kids. They weren't sure how it was going to play out and how to conclude it.
After this boy finished his spiel, Ethan, my Ethan, raised his hands. His teacher called on him and according to the teacher, he said something like: I think I we can all agree that we really need to apologize to you, too. We haven't always been the friend you needed or treated you fairly. So please forgive us.
Ethan never said a word about this entire event to me. The principal and his teachers did. They were impressed by the maturity of his response. I was pretty surprised as well. However, if I think deeply, I shouldn't have been. His heart has always been sweet and full of compassion for others. This was a day that it shined just a little brighter.
There is a boy in Ethan's grade who has always struggled with behavior and getting along with other children. I don't know his full story as we have not been in his class until this year. However, his reputation as a big problem in the classroom did preceed him. Somewhere along the holidays, this boy decided that he was tired of always being in trouble, ready to change his reputation and learn to be friends with his classmates. He wanted a complete "do-over." Therefore he chose to stand in front of the entire grade and ask for their forgiveness and ask for them to allow him to start again. Just typing this portion of the story brings me to tears. What a brave, brave young man.
The teachers knew of his plan, but they were very nervous of the reaction of some 50 other kids. They weren't sure how it was going to play out and how to conclude it.
After this boy finished his spiel, Ethan, my Ethan, raised his hands. His teacher called on him and according to the teacher, he said something like: I think I we can all agree that we really need to apologize to you, too. We haven't always been the friend you needed or treated you fairly. So please forgive us.
Ethan never said a word about this entire event to me. The principal and his teachers did. They were impressed by the maturity of his response. I was pretty surprised as well. However, if I think deeply, I shouldn't have been. His heart has always been sweet and full of compassion for others. This was a day that it shined just a little brighter.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a piece that brought me so much satisfaction. I didn't notice there was an error in blogger's automatic saving mode. When I clicked "Publish Post," there was an error. At that moment I knew. It was lost. It hadn't saved and therefore, when I tried to return to the post, it was gone.
It is defeating to me when that happens. I don't write nearly as often as I would like and when I don't for a while, the words to do not flow. I can not craft the exact sentiment I am trying to express. For some reason, however, this one just flowed from my fingertips and left me completely spent. Oh well. I have to move on.
It is defeating to me when that happens. I don't write nearly as often as I would like and when I don't for a while, the words to do not flow. I can not craft the exact sentiment I am trying to express. For some reason, however, this one just flowed from my fingertips and left me completely spent. Oh well. I have to move on.
Oh my goodness, I love my kids. When they are budding with creativity, or when they are behave like spoiled little boogers. When they backtalk me with such vile that I could sew their mouths up forever, or when they excel at some endeavor that even they are shocked. That is how our days have been lately. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Determining our determination is a good summary, actually. Each little being in our house deciding just which battles they want to have - be it a good battle of academics or sports, or a bad battle between siblings and the fairness of life.
At 6, Lily has declared she is writing a book all about MATH! Unbeknownst to me, Lily took her journal out and began writing math facts about adding the same number together. She started by writing 1+1=2, 2+2=4, etc. She is now somewhere in the 150s (152+152=304). Her self-determined goal: 1,000. I shouldn't really be surprised by this as she has always had an interest in patterns. As a toddler, I would often find her sorting her blocks into colors or shapes. She would always string beads along in a pattern. Her enthusiasm is a bit contagious, I admit. I have already thought about teaching her the very basic concept of multiplication in order for her to write her tables down in her journal. She will be able to understand the pattern of that, even if she doesn't memorize them. Maybe a goal for the summer?
Sadie has been somewhat of a brutal force on the soccer field in the latter half of the spring season. She hasn't played in 2 or 3 years and yet, has found this determination in her spirit to come away from the pack with the ball. Most often, she succeeds, even against some bigger boys. She just doesn't give up! She had a a nasty fall in the driveway that resulted in a few extra layers of skin on her knees. The next day at her game she fell a few times going after the ball and was kicked in the knee as well. Despite blood being drawn and keeping her hands in little fists from the pain, she refused to come out of the game and continue to push forward. One the flip side, Sadie is once again asserting her independence and not really holding back verbally when she is not exactly thrilled at the request being given to her. In fact, she has been downright rude and mouth. Poor thing...hardly has any privileges left to take away. Her favorite line lately, "You are so mean!" UGH! I sense, however, we might be turning the corner.
Ethan is pushing past the boredom that May can sometimes bring with swimming. Short-course season is over; school is ending. Things seem to be ending everywhere, except in swimming. He was finding some issues with the authority at swimming, but I told him he simply needed to buck up. This wasn't about them, it was about him. Make these practices all about getting himself better, improving his skill, soaking it all in, working hard when a lot of other swimmers were in slow motion just getting ready for summer leagues. I haven't heard much more complaining since that conversation. As far as his usual banter/fighting/animosity toward Sadie, I have overheard him say two times, "Sadie, let's just stop. It isn't worth it." Time away from the material object of their desire can do wonders to an attitude.
We are moving through May at lightning speed. Two weeks and 3 days until the end of school.
At 6, Lily has declared she is writing a book all about MATH! Unbeknownst to me, Lily took her journal out and began writing math facts about adding the same number together. She started by writing 1+1=2, 2+2=4, etc. She is now somewhere in the 150s (152+152=304). Her self-determined goal: 1,000. I shouldn't really be surprised by this as she has always had an interest in patterns. As a toddler, I would often find her sorting her blocks into colors or shapes. She would always string beads along in a pattern. Her enthusiasm is a bit contagious, I admit. I have already thought about teaching her the very basic concept of multiplication in order for her to write her tables down in her journal. She will be able to understand the pattern of that, even if she doesn't memorize them. Maybe a goal for the summer?
Sadie has been somewhat of a brutal force on the soccer field in the latter half of the spring season. She hasn't played in 2 or 3 years and yet, has found this determination in her spirit to come away from the pack with the ball. Most often, she succeeds, even against some bigger boys. She just doesn't give up! She had a a nasty fall in the driveway that resulted in a few extra layers of skin on her knees. The next day at her game she fell a few times going after the ball and was kicked in the knee as well. Despite blood being drawn and keeping her hands in little fists from the pain, she refused to come out of the game and continue to push forward. One the flip side, Sadie is once again asserting her independence and not really holding back verbally when she is not exactly thrilled at the request being given to her. In fact, she has been downright rude and mouth. Poor thing...hardly has any privileges left to take away. Her favorite line lately, "You are so mean!" UGH! I sense, however, we might be turning the corner.
Ethan is pushing past the boredom that May can sometimes bring with swimming. Short-course season is over; school is ending. Things seem to be ending everywhere, except in swimming. He was finding some issues with the authority at swimming, but I told him he simply needed to buck up. This wasn't about them, it was about him. Make these practices all about getting himself better, improving his skill, soaking it all in, working hard when a lot of other swimmers were in slow motion just getting ready for summer leagues. I haven't heard much more complaining since that conversation. As far as his usual banter/fighting/animosity toward Sadie, I have overheard him say two times, "Sadie, let's just stop. It isn't worth it." Time away from the material object of their desire can do wonders to an attitude.
We are moving through May at lightning speed. Two weeks and 3 days until the end of school.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Updates and Conversations...
Sadie: How do you get to work in the White House, Mom?
Me: Well, you have to decide that is your goal. You have to go to college and probably major in something like political science. Then, you have to work pretty hard to get there.
Sadie: Mom, I meant like a housekeeper. I am only interested in that.
We were dyeing Easter eggs. Upon removing Lily's egg from a mixture of colors,
Lily announced: That looks like vomit. I think she didn't like how it looked.
What I learned on our trip to Washington, DC:
Traffic in the city stinks. Traffic in the city stinks. Traffic in the city stinks. We traveled 14 miles for 4 hours. I wanted to hurt someone. Jay and I decided not to speak to each other at one point as there was nothing pleasant that was coming out and we were so on edge. It was just terrible and there was no way around it in order to get to the Embassy where we were trying to renew his Dutch passport.
Museums are really cool. However, Sadie is just as happy playing in the park by the hotel chasing disease infested birds. Ethan is at the age where he appreciates what he is seeing and doesn't complain. Lily does not like to walk, often announcing her legs are tired.
Sadie can charm anyone when she so desires. She learned to haggle on her own for an aquarium at a yard sale this weekend. Pretty impressive. She also lasted at a dinner with fairly decent behavior for about 1.5 hours with some friends of mine. She lost it in the last half hour, however.
For as long as Lily did not have her front teeth, I expected them to slowly emerge. However, they pushed forth over our break rather quickly. She now has "half teeth" showing on top. This makes for a mouth that is scant of any normal looking teeth, gaps and an non-uniform looking smile. It is the most jumbled mess of teeth, but her smile is still priceless to me.
Ethan loves to hang with me. He usually takes my side when we are deciding what we are going to do on a given day. He is trooper on trips like this, always wanting to explore and experience more. Well, except for the First Ladies of the White House exhibit. He was not too keen on that one.
My kids are terrible at self-entertaining when they need to sit still and be quiet without the use of personal electronics. Maybe they aren't different than most kids, but it is quite problematic to me. Actually, I should clarify. Lily is pretty decent at descending into her own world. However, Sadie is horrible at conforming when she does not want to. I mean, horrible. I have devised a training program that will begin this summer. We'll see how it works.
There is nothing that brings me more happiness to my entire self than hearing my children laugh. Lily has a belly giggle that in unmatched. Ethan can fall into fits of uncontrollable laughter. And, Sadie has a sinister, yet lovable laugh that is usually the result of successfully carried out plans. I heard their laughter many times this past week and it was never tiring.
Me: Well, you have to decide that is your goal. You have to go to college and probably major in something like political science. Then, you have to work pretty hard to get there.
Sadie: Mom, I meant like a housekeeper. I am only interested in that.
We were dyeing Easter eggs. Upon removing Lily's egg from a mixture of colors,
Lily announced: That looks like vomit. I think she didn't like how it looked.
What I learned on our trip to Washington, DC:
Traffic in the city stinks. Traffic in the city stinks. Traffic in the city stinks. We traveled 14 miles for 4 hours. I wanted to hurt someone. Jay and I decided not to speak to each other at one point as there was nothing pleasant that was coming out and we were so on edge. It was just terrible and there was no way around it in order to get to the Embassy where we were trying to renew his Dutch passport.
Museums are really cool. However, Sadie is just as happy playing in the park by the hotel chasing disease infested birds. Ethan is at the age where he appreciates what he is seeing and doesn't complain. Lily does not like to walk, often announcing her legs are tired.
Sadie can charm anyone when she so desires. She learned to haggle on her own for an aquarium at a yard sale this weekend. Pretty impressive. She also lasted at a dinner with fairly decent behavior for about 1.5 hours with some friends of mine. She lost it in the last half hour, however.
For as long as Lily did not have her front teeth, I expected them to slowly emerge. However, they pushed forth over our break rather quickly. She now has "half teeth" showing on top. This makes for a mouth that is scant of any normal looking teeth, gaps and an non-uniform looking smile. It is the most jumbled mess of teeth, but her smile is still priceless to me.
Ethan loves to hang with me. He usually takes my side when we are deciding what we are going to do on a given day. He is trooper on trips like this, always wanting to explore and experience more. Well, except for the First Ladies of the White House exhibit. He was not too keen on that one.
My kids are terrible at self-entertaining when they need to sit still and be quiet without the use of personal electronics. Maybe they aren't different than most kids, but it is quite problematic to me. Actually, I should clarify. Lily is pretty decent at descending into her own world. However, Sadie is horrible at conforming when she does not want to. I mean, horrible. I have devised a training program that will begin this summer. We'll see how it works.
There is nothing that brings me more happiness to my entire self than hearing my children laugh. Lily has a belly giggle that in unmatched. Ethan can fall into fits of uncontrollable laughter. And, Sadie has a sinister, yet lovable laugh that is usually the result of successfully carried out plans. I heard their laughter many times this past week and it was never tiring.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
In the world of competitive parents...
Every 6 months or so I rebel. I think it is a natural inclination as a mother to throw my hands up in the air and declare, "Whatever. I am done." I had one of those days on Sunday. The attitude of the culmination of 2 weeks with my mother-in-law, a week of living in my car more than my bed and a weekend where I shuttled kids to 2 birthday parties, 2 soccer games, 1 swim practice, a church directory picture, and a sleepover. Not to mention what goes along with those activities, which I will list anyway - 2 birthday presents wrapped, one swim bag packed, 2 soccer uniforms clean and ready and preparation for the directory picture so that at minimum we look like we pondered the merits of personal hygiene on a weekly basis.
Per my usual fashion of inssurection, I start trying to dump any commitments that I have in order to simplify my life. It usually comes at my own expense because what is easiest to let go are the ones that no one else cares about...mine. My kids and my husband won't complain if I put a halt to bible study or some coffee breaks with my friends. However, knowing this ultimately results in hurting myself and building resentment, I refrained for once. Instead, I begin scurrying around looking for some non-existent solutions and blame everyone at tearing at the last remains of my sanity. Ranting never works; I should know that by now.
Yet, this entire cycle of constant activity and its ramifications would not leave my brain. This continuous analysis was compounded by a chapter in my current bible study on resting and why God asks us to do it. The residuals of the Chinese Mothers saga and a few run-ins with uber competitive parents has forced me to ask this one question about my life: What is my motivation with all this running around?
I always said that I wanted my kids to have a sport they love, a musical instrument they could play and learn to contribute to the world in a socially conscious way, not to mention the academic goals which include all three of them being admitted to Carolina (just kidding, or am I?). That is a lot of expectation when you are mother of three - three who are still pretty dependent on motivation, transportation and logistics. Lest I forget the most important aspect of mothering for me...their spiritual journey. Nothing like the weight of that on your shoulders. I know God is ultimately the One who will see that one through, but it is my responsibility to rear them in His way.
With those "goals" in my head, I charted our paths towards success! Please note the use of heavy sarcasm in that sentence. We have dabbled in piano and guitar lessons, swim teams, soccer teams, gymnastics, art camps, cheerleading, sporatic dance classes, basketball for a season or two, scouts, and a type of girl scouts, and horseback riding. Through homeschool classes Sadie is learning dance, drama, music, art, and even sign language.
In comparison, by the end of my 5th grade year, I could chalk up two years of piano and a season or two of community girls softball. That was it. Something has changed within one generation and I want to know what. What is in the heart of the thousands of parents toting kids to soccer fields on a Saturday, to pay costly fees for special clinics and spend hours sitting around in camping chairs, on bleachers and even better, in our cars waiting for our special blessings to become the next Mozart, Beckham, van Gogh or Phelps.
Well, I have looked deep and I know my motivation is not founded where it should be. I am going to be very real here. I do all these things because I don't want my kids to be left behind. I don't want them to miss out on any fulfilling any gifts and talents they may have. I fear that they will not have every opportunity open to them when they are grown because I did not push them. I worry that my kids will be just average - really not "good" at anything. Did I just write that? Pitiful, just a pitiful comment on me. What is the craziest part of this I know I don't have very little control on how my kids turn out, yet I continue to push forth.
With very few exceptions, most kids under the age of 10 are participating in sports because they love being around other kids. The actual activity in which they are participating in is somewhat a moot point. Although, I know Ethan is developing a greater love of the actual sport of swimming this year. Sadie, however, is no longer swimming. The competition, the pressure, her desire to do well churned her insides into an emotional mess. Taking time away has been a great thing and if she ever decides to go back to year round swimming, it will be on a non-competitive level.
Yesterday, I also spoke with several other moms regarding this issue. They, being further along the mothering role than I, did affirm that there was something crazy about these toting around years. However, they assured me that it settles down. It is just a season. Parents become a little less crazy, everyone's expectations lower and most allow the kids to drive the show. The world of opportunity begins shrinking as they discover, and thus hone in on, what they are passionate about. That was affirming to hear.
I am still working through this from a biblical standpoint. The priorities in life should be God, spouse, family and then work. Yet, I know valuable life lessons have been learned through my kids' involvement in sports and extra-curricular activities. Perseverance, showing grace, encouragement, forgiveness, and dealing jealousy are just a few of the key lessons I can quickly list. Where is the balance?
So, what is the take away from all this?
1. It is a season. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
2. Fun should always be the first and only priority. Kids put themselves under enough pressure as it is.
3. If you become mad, yell or cry regarding your child's performance, then it has stopped being about your child and more about you. Crying for happiness because of your child's happiness does not count although it is hard for me to relate because I am not a "cryer."
And finally,
4. God created your child, giving him special gifts and abilities. No one and nothing will stand in the way of God seeing these worked out in his life in the way God knows best, no matter how hard a parent tries. He is a sovereign God.
Per my usual fashion of inssurection, I start trying to dump any commitments that I have in order to simplify my life. It usually comes at my own expense because what is easiest to let go are the ones that no one else cares about...mine. My kids and my husband won't complain if I put a halt to bible study or some coffee breaks with my friends. However, knowing this ultimately results in hurting myself and building resentment, I refrained for once. Instead, I begin scurrying around looking for some non-existent solutions and blame everyone at tearing at the last remains of my sanity. Ranting never works; I should know that by now.
Yet, this entire cycle of constant activity and its ramifications would not leave my brain. This continuous analysis was compounded by a chapter in my current bible study on resting and why God asks us to do it. The residuals of the Chinese Mothers saga and a few run-ins with uber competitive parents has forced me to ask this one question about my life: What is my motivation with all this running around?
I always said that I wanted my kids to have a sport they love, a musical instrument they could play and learn to contribute to the world in a socially conscious way, not to mention the academic goals which include all three of them being admitted to Carolina (just kidding, or am I?). That is a lot of expectation when you are mother of three - three who are still pretty dependent on motivation, transportation and logistics. Lest I forget the most important aspect of mothering for me...their spiritual journey. Nothing like the weight of that on your shoulders. I know God is ultimately the One who will see that one through, but it is my responsibility to rear them in His way.
With those "goals" in my head, I charted our paths towards success! Please note the use of heavy sarcasm in that sentence. We have dabbled in piano and guitar lessons, swim teams, soccer teams, gymnastics, art camps, cheerleading, sporatic dance classes, basketball for a season or two, scouts, and a type of girl scouts, and horseback riding. Through homeschool classes Sadie is learning dance, drama, music, art, and even sign language.
In comparison, by the end of my 5th grade year, I could chalk up two years of piano and a season or two of community girls softball. That was it. Something has changed within one generation and I want to know what. What is in the heart of the thousands of parents toting kids to soccer fields on a Saturday, to pay costly fees for special clinics and spend hours sitting around in camping chairs, on bleachers and even better, in our cars waiting for our special blessings to become the next Mozart, Beckham, van Gogh or Phelps.
Well, I have looked deep and I know my motivation is not founded where it should be. I am going to be very real here. I do all these things because I don't want my kids to be left behind. I don't want them to miss out on any fulfilling any gifts and talents they may have. I fear that they will not have every opportunity open to them when they are grown because I did not push them. I worry that my kids will be just average - really not "good" at anything. Did I just write that? Pitiful, just a pitiful comment on me. What is the craziest part of this I know I don't have very little control on how my kids turn out, yet I continue to push forth.
With very few exceptions, most kids under the age of 10 are participating in sports because they love being around other kids. The actual activity in which they are participating in is somewhat a moot point. Although, I know Ethan is developing a greater love of the actual sport of swimming this year. Sadie, however, is no longer swimming. The competition, the pressure, her desire to do well churned her insides into an emotional mess. Taking time away has been a great thing and if she ever decides to go back to year round swimming, it will be on a non-competitive level.
Yesterday, I also spoke with several other moms regarding this issue. They, being further along the mothering role than I, did affirm that there was something crazy about these toting around years. However, they assured me that it settles down. It is just a season. Parents become a little less crazy, everyone's expectations lower and most allow the kids to drive the show. The world of opportunity begins shrinking as they discover, and thus hone in on, what they are passionate about. That was affirming to hear.
I am still working through this from a biblical standpoint. The priorities in life should be God, spouse, family and then work. Yet, I know valuable life lessons have been learned through my kids' involvement in sports and extra-curricular activities. Perseverance, showing grace, encouragement, forgiveness, and dealing jealousy are just a few of the key lessons I can quickly list. Where is the balance?
So, what is the take away from all this?
1. It is a season. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
2. Fun should always be the first and only priority. Kids put themselves under enough pressure as it is.
3. If you become mad, yell or cry regarding your child's performance, then it has stopped being about your child and more about you. Crying for happiness because of your child's happiness does not count although it is hard for me to relate because I am not a "cryer."
And finally,
4. God created your child, giving him special gifts and abilities. No one and nothing will stand in the way of God seeing these worked out in his life in the way God knows best, no matter how hard a parent tries. He is a sovereign God.
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